Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I would not be typing this on a desktop computer in Maryland. I would be typing this on a laptop, maybe in Hawaii or Los Angeles or Mexico.

Author's Note: This is randomness that I came up with in math class. If you don't like it, go away. I can't exactly write the perfect story in MATH CLASS, for gods sake.

Thanks for Listening

Dear Diary

My life sucks. Well, no, it doesn't, I have food and clothing and shelter and blah blah blah. But I digress.

I have a crush on my best friend. A.k.a. one of the most popular girls in the school. A.k.a. one of the prettiest. A.k.a. a non-gay girl. A.k.a. Rolanda Xiomara Hooch.

I have nothing against being gay. If only I had a crush on someone like the Maddies. They're gay. Ro, on the other hand, is most definitely not. In fact, she's dating a guy from Ravenclaw, Peter Lloyd, I think.

Unhappily, Min

Dear Diary

I am in a extremely bad mood. Ro just talked for like 45 minutes on how much she loves Peter. Grrr……….

Angrily, Minerva

Dear Diary

I need to kill someone. Like myself. Or possibly Peter. I hate that guy. Apparently, Peter was kissing her and being nice and sweet and WONDERFULLY PERFECT according to Ro.

Extremely Angrily, Minerva

Dear Diary

YES!! There is a god! Ro broke up with Peter the prat! She said he 'wasn't her type'. YES!!

Happily, Min

Dear Diary

Now she's going out with that loser Xenophilius Lovegood. I hate him, too. Well, now I do.

Irritated, Minerva

Dear Diary

Lovegood the loser (heh heh) broke up with Ro. Now he's going out with Hannah Daughtrey. I'm not sure whether to be happy that she's not dating, or sad for her. I mean, she's miserable. She's been crying like all night.

, Minerva

Dear Diary

Yes! Ro said she's off boys for a while!

, Minerva

Dear Diary

I hate life. I asked Ro if she would go out with a girl if she got asked, and she was like, "No, because I'm not gay,"

Sadly, Minerva

Hey Minerva? The reason I said that was because I thought YOU weren't gay. Truthfully: I'm gay, and I like you. Go out with me?

Bloody hell…………..YES!!

Wait, why are you reading my diary, anyway?

I wanted to see if you were gay. Oh yeah……and the reason I said Peter was being 'WONDERFULLY PERFECT' is because I wanted to see your reaction.

I guess I don't need my diary anymore…….thanks for listening!