Warning: Hehehe... MERRY ALMOST-CHRISTMAS! This is going to be a three-parter fic series... and I'll release one today... one a week later... and one on Christmas eve. A present for you all from me and from my bestest net sister, Yuki Ryu! This actually started out as a just-for-fun RP between us but we decided it'd be cool to fic-ize it... so I did! *giggles* SO ENJOY! And YES. There WILL be couplings soon enough. ;P


Part One: Christmas'll Break You!


Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Zim stared, dully, as the clock hands slowly made their way around its face while marking each hour that drudged by. The rest of the students sat, almost entirely zoned, as many drooled or stared blankly at the blackboard. Pictures of trees, snowflakes, and Santa Claus covered almost every inch of the wall as red ribbons and wreaths hung on the teacher's desk.
The small Irken waited, every part of his body numb, as Ms. Bitters rambled for hours about the evils of Christmas doom.
"Doomed... doomed... evil little stockings... doomed... doomed... poisonous candy canes... doomed... doomed...,"
Zim sighed and glanced at Dib, then blinked. Dib looked similarly distracted as he watched the clock anxiously. The humans eyes drifted back and forth between the clock and the small alien, as if attempting to give both equal attention.
"Doomed... doomed... doomed... commercialization... doomed... doomed...," Ms. Bitters continued to drone.
Dib sighed and mentally willed time to speed up. Only two more hours and the skool would be out for Christmas. Zim, himself, returned to staring at the clock. His claws tapped, idly, against his desk until he suddenly let out a gutteral noise and shivered with pent up frustration and energy..
"ENOUGH OF THIS! I, Zim, cannot stand this any longer! This... this NONSENSE... the STINKBEASTS must be planning something hideous... for this BREAK... and I shall not be caught unaware!" he growled, claws curling up in to fists. He sneered, viciously, and then waved his claws vigorously in the air to catch Ms. Bitter's attention.
Ms. Bitters blinked, slightly, and slowly gazed at Zim while her lips curled up in a growl.
"Yes, Zim?" she drawled. Zim straightened his back and grinned.
"I MUST USE... the RESTROOM," he announced.
"...," Ms. Bitters stared at Zim, levelly. Zim continued to grin.
"IT IS AN ALL MIGHTY NEED!" he added. He was vaguely aware of Dib watching him, suspiciously, but simply shrugged it off. Ms. Bitters regarded Zim for a moment longer before grabbing a hallpass and throwing it at Zim. Zim yowled as it bounced off his forehead, then caught it and cackled happily. He turned and charged out of the door while Ms. Bitters returned to her droning.
Dib stared at the door and debated whether or not to chase after Zim. His father would be coming home for Christmas and promised to spend family time with them, which was something Dib had always dreamed of. If he chased after Zim, it would only delay their time together.
Dib's internal debate lasted for a second.
Dib stood up and waved his hands around, attempting to divert Ms. Bitters attention to himself.
"Miss Bitters! I need to go to the bathroom!" he said. Ms. Bitters stopped, her eyes widening, and turned to fix Dib with a poisonous gaze. Dib paused, then tilted his head. "An ALL MIGHTY NEED?" he added, hopefully.
Ms. Bitters scowled deeply, then grabbed a hallpass and threw it at Dib, chuckling with satisfaction as it bounced off his head.
"GO," she snarled, before returning to her previous position. Dib grabbed his hallpass and dashed into the hall.
Zim cackled, merrily, as he ran down the hall towards the exit.
"Foolish humans! I shall not fall victim to this... BREAK!" he giggled, feeling rather superior at the moment. He was oblivious to Dib, who appeared farther down the hall and bolted towards him. Zim was so oblivious, in fact, that he tripped over a fake snowflake and went tumbling to the ground. "KYAHAHA-EEEYAAAH!" he shrieked.
Dib caught up just as Zim tumbled down the hall, landing face first on the cold ground. Zim groaned in pain and fumbled up, rubbing his face.
"Stupid human... THINGS...," he growled. Dib laughed, loudly, before putting his hands on his hips and grinning at Zim.
"What's wrong, ZIM? Having trouble with a simple little Christmas decoration?" he sneered. Zim blinked, then whirled about to glare at Dib despite the large pulsating bruise on his forehead.
"DIB," he hissed. He scowled deeply as Dib laughed, striding purposely towards him with an air of superiority about him.
Atleast, he did until he tripped on a large faux candy cane and slipped, tumbling forward to land on his face.
Zim blinked, slowly, then began to snicker.
"What's wrong, DIB? Foiled by your OWN... DE-KOR-ATIONS?!" he jibed, then burst out with laughter. He continued to laugh as he turned about and strode towards the door, ignoring Dib as the human began to scramble to his feet. Dib rubbed his nose, his glasses miraculously intact despite the fall. He glanced at Zim, then let out a deep growl and lunged at Zim from behind.
Zim blinked, then glanced around just in time to see Dib lunge at him. He yelped and jumped out of the way, cackling as Dib flew past and hit the floor once more.
"FOOLISH STINKBEAST!" he cackled. Dib fumbled up, adjusting his glasses on his face, before turning to growl at Zim.
"You won't get away from me this time, ZIM! I'm going to catch you and wrap you up like a present and give you to Mysterious Mysteries as a Christmas Present!" he hissed.
"HAH! NEVERRRR!" Zim sneered. He jumped out of the way when Dib lunged a second time, then ran down the hall with a delighted cackle. He glanced back to see Dib chasing after him, looking rather determined.
"YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME FOREVER, ZIM!" Dib cried.
"YES I CAAAAN!" Zim replied before throwing his exploding hallpass at the fake Christmas tree as he passed. The hallpass landed on top of the tree, like a halo, and rested there as Zim charged outside. Dib blinked, then glanced at his own exploding hallpass. A devious grin crossed his face and, with a shout, threw his hallpass at Zim.
Unfortunately for the Irken, he had just stepped outside when the hallpass came at him. Zim glanced back and yowled. He scrambled to get out of the way, well aware of Ms. Bitter's warning about leaving skool grounds with a hallpass.
Almost instantly, the hallpass exploded next to Zim. Zim cried out as he was sent flying in to the bushes, charred and surrounded by metal shrapnel. Dib let out a cry of triumph as Zim landed, roughly, in the thorny bushes.
"HAH! GOTCHA NOW, iZIM/I!" he crowed, charging down the steps towards the bushes. Zim moaned in pain and scrambled out of the bushes, covered in thorn scrapes and burns. He charged toward the tree, fixing his wig as best he could. Dib followed, close behind, as a triumphant grin crossed his face.
Zim zipped around the tree, then took off towards the street. He could hear Dib running behind him, chuckling sinisterly.
"You won't get away from me, ZIM!" Dib sneered, panting slightly as he ran after the small Irken.
"YES I WILLLLLL!" Zim jibed. "HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAA-ow-HAHAHA!" he laughed, faltering slightly in his attempts to escape as blood slowly seeped in to his pant leg. Part of the collar must have lodged itself in his leg when it exploded, he realized. Zim glanced down and scared, before swallowing the pain and continued running.
Unfortunately, Dib noticed the falter instantly.
"What's wrong, ZIM? Did that explosion hurt you?" he mocked. Zim resisted his urge to flinch and growled, deeply.
"HARDLY!" he barked. He charged down the street, arriving at the busy intersection, and charged across. He barely dodged the cars which zoomed by, honking in irritation as Zim passed.
Dib continued the chase, entering the intersection as well. He jumped, twice, when two cars had to hit their breaks to avoid hitting him but continued the chase, undaunted. Zim glanced back once he made it to the other side of the street and cackled. He turned to continue his escape but accidentally stepped wrong and twisted his bad leg, aggrivating the wound further. He yowled and hopped a few steps on his good foot before breaking out in to a run.
Dib gasped for breath as he made it across the street, then glanced up to smirk at Zim. He took off running after the alien.
"HAH! What's the matter, ZIM? Leg bothering you?" he called, sweetly.
"... Of course not!" Zim retorted, though he growled deep in his throat.
Dib laughed to himself, which infuriated the Irken even more. Zim bit his lower lip, willing away the pain from his leg, and quickly climbed over a fence. Neither he nor Dib noticed the tiny drops of blood the Irken left behind as both continued to dart across the yards. The two zigged and zagged across the grass, their wild chase taking them all over town. After a few moments, Zim became aware of the fact that he was starting to gasp for air, very winded, and that Dib was very slowly gaining on him.
Such knowledge sent a pang of terror through him. With a yelp, he darted in to the street and glanced about, wildly. At that moment, a taxi appeared around the corner and charged down the street. Zim's eyes lit up and he waited, crouched. The taxi zipped past him, intent on its destination. The driver was totally unaware of Zim, who managed to leap at the last second and grabbed the bumper of the taxi.
Zim yelped as he was dragged down the street, then slowly pulled himself up on to the roof of the taxi. He winced as the wind blasted him, bugs splattering against his face. He glanced back to see Dib stop on the side of the road and glare after him.
"HAH! SEE YA, DIB!" Zim cried, clinging to the roof of the taxi with all his might. Dib stood on the side of the road, quivering with anger. He pointed after the retreating Zim, almost frothing with anger.
"I'LL GET YOU, ZIM! MAYBE NOT TODAY! MAYBE NOT TOMORROW... MAYBE NOT THE DAY AFTER... BUT SOON! SOON I'LL HAVE YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU!" he shrieked. Zim cackled in response, then regreted such and action and spat out a rather disoriented bug.
After a few moments of cussing and declaring war on 'death bugs', Zim became vaguely aware of the fact that he had no idea where he was. He blinked and looked around as the taxi zoomed past unfamiliar buildings.
A cold, terrifying thought crossed Zim's mind.
"... I'm... lost? Deep in enemy territory?!" he choked. Quickly, he rolled over to the side of the cab and jumped off. However, he landed wrong and went tumbling across the asphalt. He sat there, whimpering for a few minutes, before he slowly stood up and limped out of the road.
"Noooooo... I will be... FINE...," he announced. He limped in to the nearby alley and looked around. Seeing that the humans were ignoring him, Zim then glanced back as the communicator zipped out of his back. "GIR! Answer!" he hissed.
There was no response.
"... Hrm... interference... again!" he muttered. Unbeknownst to Zim, GIR was down the road a bit, drinking eggnog while sitting in a scantly clad elf girl's lap.
Zim glanced around, warily, and limped out of the alley. He was instantly assaulted by cheery Christmas music from random stores. Thousands of people covered the sidewalks, carrying packages and bags of goodies as they traveled from shop to shop.
Zim stared in amazement, before yelping when a large lady with tons of boxes bumped in to him, knocking him over. The lady peered through the boxes to glare at him.
"What where you're going, you elf!" she snarled, then continued to waddle along her way. Zim blinked repeatedly, then scrambled against the wall and hissed with fear.
"The... madness...,"
A bell rang next to Zim. Zim looked up and stared. A sad looking Santa, complete with pillow sticking out from his coat, stood next to a black pot of loose change. Zim's jaw quivered. He let out a squeal and jumped to his feet. He ignored the pain from his leg and bolted down the street, panicked.
Zim glanced back just as he rounded a corner, then squeaked as he boinged off of something bouncy. He fell on his end and glanced up, wide eyed.
A scantly clad elf girl stood in front of him, hands on her hips as her tight red outfit covered very little of her seductive body.
"What's your problem, cutie?" she purred, blonde hair draped over her bare shoulders. Zim stared in shock, then let out a terrified scream and scrambled away.
Zim's breathing grew hysterical as he bolted down the street, dodging humans as best he could. He stopped by a telephone and quivered, eyes darting around wildly.
"The... madness!" he whimpered. He tensed, then slowly glanced down at his feet. A freaky chihuahua sat at his feet, complete with surgical scar. The small dog blinked, stupidly, and stared up at Zim with a sprig of Christmas holly attached to its collar.
Zim's cheek quivered before he burst out with another scream and darted down the street. It was then that the worst surprise made its appearance in the skies.
Tiny flakes of snow slowly drifted downwards, slow and steady at first but increasing steadily in number. Some humans stopped and stared at the snow falling while others still stuck their tongues out to catch a flake on their tongue.
Zim stopped to stare at the sky as well, utterly bewildered by the new sight.
"... What is this...? It is not RAIN... so... what?" he blinked. He reached up to catch a snowflake in a gloved claw. He stared at it, fascinated, until it began to melt. Zim's eyes widened drastically when his hand began to smoke. He squealed and flailed his arm, trying to stop the burning. "EEEYAAAH!" he yowled. He clutched his claw to his chest and glared at the sky. "HIDEOUS MENACE FROM THE SKY!" he roared. He squeaked when a snowflake almost touched him and, with a triumphant cry, lept under a Christmas tree and huddled by the trunk.
A few people stopped to eye Zim strangely but the majority ignored him and continued their Christmas shopping.
Zim peered out from under the tree, watching with horror as the snow fell to the ground about him and stuck to it. As moments passed, more snow joined the first and the ground slowly disappeared under a layer of white.
"Dis... Disgusting... what HORROR... the ground will be covered in this white FILTH!" he snarled. He pressed his back against the trunk and glared, murderously, at the snow. "What... MADNESS...,"
Zim glanced about and recoiled. The snow quickly surrounded the ground all about the Christmas tree, making escape nearly impossible.
"... TRAPPED...," Zim growled. "Trapped... by this hideous white... filthy... dirt... STUFF!"
It was then that Zim realized that he still wasn't safe. The snow landed upon the branches of the Christmas tree only to be melted by the hot lights. Zim looked up and shrieked as the melted snow dripped down upon him.
"Must... find... safety!" he growled. With a warcry, Zim charged out from under the tree in to the open. He darted around, trying to dodge the deadly flakes of snow, before darting under a doorsill. His Irken heart pounded, violently, as his entire body quivered. The snow took his attention away from his leg, which continued to bleed and coat his pants with its sticky substance.
The streets slowly became deserted as the snow covered it in a thick icy lair. Zim glanced about, suspiciously, from the doorsill as the humans hurried along the streets in various directions and disappeared from sight.
"My... it's so late...," one woman panted.
"Better hurry home," a policeman said, twirling a donut on his finger. "The weatherman's calling for a blizzard. We ought to have a white Christmas this year!"
Zim blinked in confusion.
"What is this... blizzard?" he wondered. He glanced at the sky and sighed, miserably. "I only hope that this Christmas Break hasn't claimed poor GIR in it's path of rainy... drippy... destruction!"
Unbeknownst to Zim, GIR was back at the base, decorating the house with Scary Monkey Christmas decorations.
Many humans rushed home, grabbing cabs or taking the bus, leaving less and less people around as minutes passed. Shops closed and Zim found himself alone, entirely in the dark save for the Christmas lights in the windows and an occasional streetlight.
Zim stared, then shivered.
" ... this... must be... phase one of... The Break...," he whispered. The wind suddenly started to pick up as the snowflakes increased in size. Zim shivered, then shrieked when the wind blasted him with snow. He darted out from the doorsill and ran down the street, searching for cover. He grabbed a cardboard box and held it over his head, using it as a shield, as his breath came out as a thick mist. He panted, glaring about in to the night, then ran down the street in his desperate race to find cover.