A/N: Well I am happy to say that this is my first 'story,' I hope that you enjoy it and find it funny. ^-^
And because I'm sure I'll get hell if I don't.
I do not own House, just some ideas on how to annoy him and his staff. Mwahahahaha!
Ways to annoy House
1. Steal his cane
2. Steal his Vicodin
3. When he asks what happened to his cane or Vicodin blame it on Cuddy.
4. While he's busy write 'House loves Wilson' on his white board, in permanent marker.
5. When he realizes Cuddy doesn't have either his Vicodin or cane, blame it on Wilson.
6. While he's busy harassing Wilson, paint his cane pink.
7. And replace his Vicodin with laxatives.
8. When he comes back saying that Wilson doesn't have his things, ask for a detailed description of his cane and pills.
9. Then give him his cane back, in public, while yelling about how you didn't know he was so girly.
10. When he starts yelling at you, cry, loudly, drawing everyone's attention.
11. When he drags you back into his office and apologizes, even if he doesn't say sorry exactly, call him a softy.
12. When he denies it hug him.
13. After he shoves you away point out his white board. And blame it on Chase.
14. When he starts bitching about his Vicodin give him back, and cry when he starts yelling at you again.
15. If he apologizes again, call him a softy. If not call him secretly soft.
16. When the laxatives kick in, go paint his motorcycle pink.
17. And write him love letters, signing them from Wilson.
18. Send him roses, again signing them from Wilson.
19. When he steps out of the bathroom run to him and yell that Wilson is pregnant with their secret love child.
20. When he asks what you are on, scream 'NOTHING WHAT ARE YOU ON?'
21. When he says Vicodin, say 'That's what you think.'
22. Before he can ask you about that take his cane again and run.
23. This time replace his cane with one made for someone shorter.
24. Give it back to him when he's reading the 'love letter from Wilson'
25. Say the nurse's made you steal his cane.
26. Tell him he should marry Wilson since he got him pregnant.
27. When his says that he has never had sex with Wilson, ask how Wilson got pregnant.
28. When House says there is no way for a man to get pregnant, ask him where babies come from.
29. After he tells you, say 'Sorry can you say that again I wasn't listening.'
30. Before he gets angry and starts yelling again, grab his bottle of 'Vicodin' and throw it out the window.
31. When he asks what the hell that was about, say that drugs are bad.
32. Then go and convince Wilson that House is madly in love with him but would never admit it.
33. Tell Wilson to go into Houses office and give him a kiss.
34. When Wilson does, take pictures. Lots of pictures.
35. Steal both Wilson and House's underwear.
36. Toss their underwear in Cuddy's office.
37. When House and Wilson deny the 'office sex' show Cuddy the pictures of them kissing, that is after you Photoshop it so it looks like they are in her office.
38. Ask who's dominate, Wilson or House.
39. When House gets a case, claim its Lupus.
40. Repeat anything, and everything.
