Second Chance
By Silver
3/5/09
I don't think we understand each other
As much as you do
But soon whether or not we do
It won't matter
We don't talk like we used to
That's mainly my fault
But still, I have a bad feeling about this
This isn't going to end as well as I hope
It's getting worse, this pulling and tugging at my soul
Beckoning me to pad to its side
Breath so cold and skin like ice
Dressed in black and holding a scythe
What have I become?
I was no longer the person I once knew
Am I dead? Did I go through with it?
Why can't I remember?
What happened to you? Are you okay?
Or have I slain you?
Took out that light, snuffed out your candle
What have I done?
I shouldn't have ever told you and waited
Cause I know this second chance I'm given
Is going to be a waste
Maybe I should repent and try to have my sins forgiven
Clean with blade covered in blood, stained red
No water or soap will ever clean it
Though dearest maybe if I went back in time
Die before your eyes instead of alone
But maybe the way I passed on was alright
Cold and alone, like it should be
I'm not sure what to feel anymore
Betrayed, hurt, scared, alone, happy, glad, at peace, what?
Nothing would be best, commit this act, this sin
Before you can try to stop me this second time
But don't act like you cared
I'm nothing more than a friend to you
Which for all I have told you, I shouldn't be
You should hate me and no longer trust me
But you don't, so I took that next step
I left you a message, just to keep my mind clear
I kinda regret leaving you be though
I would've loved to keep talking with you
Carefree with everything, reading your stories
It was fun, it really was… but I think now…
This choice, this mistake I'm going to make
Is for the best…
I wished I asked you more questions
But that would only worsen the effect
On you of me leaving
I'm not sure if I should just give it one more try
But don't give up on love
Cause I know you've been struggling with that
But I realized it's worth it, ya know?
Sadly, love wouldn't keep me alive much longer
I wonder what it's like to pass on fully
And not end up as Death itself
Will I go to heaven or hell?
I hope that my soul is still pure enough
To go to that sweet place called heaven
But it may be damned to that fiery hole
For I have sinned against God and now you
Hell might be better for me to go to
My beloved angel if you only knew
How much I love you
And want to be with you
But I know who you love
And who you want to be with
And I know it's not me
But that part doesn't matter
Just to be able to talk to you
Was rewarding enough
So we are back here at the night
That I'm going to repeat that same mistake
Each and every word I tell you is truth
And again I hear those hateful words
The ones that weren't really for me
But I still get that you could careless
If I was alive or dead
And again I will feel that painful stab to my heart
Those soul shattering words
These feelings are breaking me apart
And I told you before my reasons for hanging on
You just didn't realize you were the last one
The only one left to break me
Make me nothing but broken glass
But your words did more damage then I tried to let on
I think you saw through it though
And then my angel you were unsure
Your reaction let me know how you truly felt
And I'm still not sure if you were trying
To apologize or ignore me
But it kind of doesn't matter
You….we both lied to each other
And now I'll continue to commit this blessing
That turned into a sour curse
So maybe I cannot ask for your forgiveness
But just understand that I blame nothing on you
And everything on me for being so foolish
To think you'd return my feelings
Was blind indeed
Here goes my second chance
I'll wave at you and protect you from afar
I will…it's stupid right now
Even though I'm bleeding to death
Maybe not in a literal sense but still
Broken and dying, wow it sounds cliché
Good-bye my dearest
