Another Day
Hermione watched as the glass shattered at her feet, spraying the contents all across the surrounding floor. The entire classroom went dead silent.
She didn't care anymore. She didn't care about anything. It didn't matter to her. Nothing mattered.
Turning, she left the classroom, without her books. The entire class silently watched her back go through the door. Her footsteps gave a steady echo down the hallways of the dungeons .
She really had no idea what she was doing, but like before, didn't care. Nothing was real in her life and she didn't care. Everything was pointless. Absolutely everything.
She didn't know what her point was here. Why she had to everyday walk down the depressing hallways of life. And why her only life was school. School was her life and she hated it. With a passion.
Everyday, taking the classes, doing the homework for hours, then going to bed only knowing that tomorrow would be the same.
And for what cause? What was she going to do with what she learned? She didn't want to be behind a desk all day, and would rather do something that had a limited interaction with people. Her choices were getting slim.
It was a good thing she didn't have anything in her hands at the moment, 'cause she would have ripped, kicked, or thrown it, taking out her frustration and anger on it.
Why was life so unfair? She didn't like being at home, and she didn't like being at home, so that left the Weasley's. But she was only there for less than two weeks every summer just before school starts.
There it was again! The depressing thought of school! It's not that she didn't like to learn, quite on the contrary! She loved to learn. But she just couldn't stand school! The people, most of the teachers, well, all of them for certain reasons, the workload, the pressure, the stress, the high expectations. All of it.
She always felt that she was never done. Could always have done more or better. That there was always something she might have forgotten.
All the extra credit work she did had raised the bar, and now she was ever trying to stay there.
She sighed when she realized that she had only imagined walking out of potions class, and she was sitting in the Library. No, she hadn't really walked our of a class, but she wished she had the guts to. It would be rather fun, but she knew it would only get them talking again.
That was another reason why she didn't enjoy school. She had a reputation of being an insufferable know it all. A nerd. A geek. Teacher's pet. You name it. She heard them in the hallways, during meals, in the common room, and during class.
During class was the worst. The would talk about her and teacher wouldn't even notice. Or didn't care. She knew for a fact that Snape just didn't care and let it go on, but the other teachers frustrated her. Were they all deaf and blind?!?! Could they not see what was going on in front of there pointed noses?
Hermione bit back her tears and checked the time. Although she didn't want t admit it, she really needed to get working on her homework. Maybe she would throw it all in the fire and watch it burn, the light of the fire bouncing off her eyes with a satisfied glow.
There she went again. Dreaming up things she knew she would never do.
What she was going to do with all this, she had no idea. But like before, she didn't care. She didn't care about anything. She was mostly afraid. Afraid that nobody else cared either. Cared whether she lived or died. Whether she was in pain or not. Whether she was being eaten away by this life.
She had often wondered what would happen if she jumped, or overdosed, or did whatever means of suicide. Would they care? Would they truly care? Would they break down in tears, get all depressed and begin bagging for forgiveness from everything they had done to kill her?
Yes, this life was killing her, and she didn't think she could make it much longer.
But what are you to do?
She couldn't just quit and go home. Home was almost as bad as school. Her only reasonable option it seemed was to keep on going the way she had been. Doing the extra credit work, staying with the high expectations. Coping with the stress and the workload. Dealing with the frustration, pain and depressions was her only choice.
Hermione took a deep breath and pulled out her homework.
AN: I wrote this about a month ago when I was rather depressed, so this more of my thoughts than Hermione's although I wouldn't be surprised if she felt the same considering that were like the same person. Thankfully I don't feel that way anymore, but I hope you enjoyed anyway. Please R&R!!! ~Beans
