Soryu and I have been dating for 4 months now but I've known him for a year. He's so patient, kind and caring, considering his job as a mobster. He is the one for me, I just know it. I love him so much; he's my everything. I'm in awe of him. I ready to lay down the past and let him make me his, I have a problem with people touching after what those people did to me when I was younger and he hasn't tried to push me at all but I still get flash backs from my past and it makes me push him away. He deals with it and we are past it. I believe if the phone hadn't ringed the other night, I would no longer be a virgin. I've told him all my past, about the assassins kid napping me when I was 5, killing my whole family and telling me I was going to be an assassin if I liked it or not and I would do whatever they said.

It was very hard at first, but I knew one day I would be able to get revenge back for my parents, I would train every day and become to best. They had us shipped to Japan and we were taught there. By the time I was 12 I was the best fighter out of the other "Students", knew 5 languages. The only problem was no one liked me, I was the only American, plus I stood out my blonde hair was a dead giveaway and I was the only female. Punishments were the worst they would burn, whip, torture, water board and a lot of other stuff. I would always get more punishments because I would always get blamed for other people's mistakes and they would put it on me. I have hundreds of scars and burns all over my body.

Everything was okay till I was 13 and my body changed, a few of the guys thought they could sneak in the bathroom to have their way with me. I fought them off and I even had to kill one, after that day they never messed with me again. They knew I wasn't going to take anything lying down.

When it was my 16 birthday when our "Home" got raided by cops, FBI and The NPA. I knew it was going to happen so I packed a bag with credit cards, tons of money, Id's, guns, knives and my computer. I knew that they weren't going give up without a fight they fought long and hard but no one survived except the main leader well almost survived they made him get on his knees and then they shot him. I hid in a compartment I thought no one knew about it, I waited for a while I didn't want to be taken out of the world like that. I looked around and when the cost was clear and I got out from the hiding spot and a man in his late 30's "Hey lady follow me for a way out."

I look at him confused "Why would you help me get out? I can never repay you."

He smiles "Because you are worth it and one day, let just say you can owe me one, okay? Hurry and follow me, we don't have much time."

I follow him out and say "Can I at least have you name?"

He smiles and leads me out to the alley way "My Name is Ni Samoa, here's my card, send me a text in a week to let me know you're okay."

I give him a small smile "Thank you Ni, and my name is Hana or it was before they changed it."

He gives me a pat on the head "I will tell you why I saved you one day but today is not that day. Run and never come back here and live your life."

I run into the night and far away from Japan but I came back 4 years later that's when I met Soryu. Turns out Ni were friends with my father and I basically though of his as my father since I never really got to know mine. I still work as an assassin but I only kill bad people never innocent people. I couldn't live with myself if I did. Well Ni is now the second in command for NPA. Which is great for me and him, he wasn't very happy when I started to date Soryu but he got over it. I'm 20 now and have a Masters in Criminal Justice and Computer security. It was so easy considering I made bombs when I was 10.

As I sit here waiting for Soryu I can't help but have a horrible gut feeling that something is going wrong. I don't wait for him any longer and I decide to see what he's doing I tracked his phone and found he was in an alley 3 streets up. I ran as fast and swiftly as I could but what I saw when I got there will forever be imprinted in my mind. As I rounded the corner I saw Soryu get shot in the stomach twice and my heart dropped. I pulled my gun out and killed the 2 people and ran to Soryu who got himself propped up against the way.

I dropped to my knees "Soryu! Please! Say something to me, don't move. I'll call Inui and we will get you to a hospital…."

He looks up at me in pain and his eyes filled with tears "Hana I'm sorry I won't-t mak—e it. I love you so-o much."

I look at him as tears flow down my face "NO Soryu! You can't leave me, you are my everything! I can't live without you."

Inui comes running down the alley "Boss! I'll call an ambulance-"

Soryu tries to give him a hard look and says "No Inui, it's too late. It was a pleasure to have you work for me, please after I'm gone watch after Hana. Please watch th-e alley way so I can have my last moments with her."

Inui then says as tears stream down his face "Yes sir, it was a pleasure I promise to always look after her. I always thought of you as a mob dad. I will never forget you, sir."

He walks away and guards us at the end of the alley way.

I look at Soryu crying as I say "I'm so sorry, I should have come sooner! If I was one second earlier I could have stop this all from happening. You and me could go home and be happy together, have children and I could be Mrs. Oh one day. This is my entire fault."

He grabs my chin and says with a hard look "Listen to me Hana; this is not your fault. Never blame yourself, you can't be everywhere-e."

He takes a deep breath and then puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out an envelope and a ring box. He then taking another deep breath says "Hana I have loved you since I meet you a year and 4 months ago, I knew from the moment I met you that you were my soul mate, my everything. The person-n I wanted to have my children."

He's crying just as bad as me and he hands me this envelope and says "You-u read this whenever your sad or missing me and need a happy thought. Please never forget me."

I smile threw the tears and say "Soryu I could never forget you, I just wish I could have…"

Soryu then puts a finger to my mouth "Han-a don't you start that game of regrets or would have. I regret nothing of my time with you."

He looks at me and slowly opens the ring box and says "Hana, I was going to ask you to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together but our time was cut to short."

I can't stop crying and he says as he grabs my hand "With this ring I want you to know you have had my heart since day one, the day when you walked into the lobby and your eyes met mine I was a goner. I want you to know I would have waited 3 years for you; never doubt yourself you are worth it. With the ring I prove my love for you as your husband and best friend. Please say you will be mine? Nev-er forget me, live a happy life Hana…"

I smile as he wipes tears of my faces "Yes Soryu, I will always be yours and never forget you; I have loved you for so long. I will try Soryu for you."

He puts the ring on my finger and gives me quick kiss then, he takes a deep breath and says "I love you, Hana" With that he takes his last breath.

It's been 3 days since I have lost Soryu and I wear the ring everywhere, I sit in the lobby and mop or I cry on Baba's shoulder but I haven't talked since I talked to Soryu. It hurts too much, Baba has been taking care of me. I am a mess, they watch me. They won't let me drink more than 2 drinks or sleep in a room by myself, they are really good friends. What makes me really mad, Eisuke doesn't look at me like it's my fault but it is, if only I could have been there sooner.

I'm sitting on the coach in the penthouse lounge with my head on Baba shoulder. No one has tried to make me talk and I'm thankful for that. A maid walks in with a plate of food and Eisuke tells her to put it in front of me but why? I'm not going to eat. I'm going to die and be with Soryu or so I think.

Baba makes me sit up and he grabs the bowl of rice and tries to hand it to me and then says "Well, I guess I'll have to feed you, Hana. You aren't getting out of eating."

I realize I'm not only hurting myself but also the guys. So I open my mouth and he puts some rice in. I just want to go to sleep. Baba feeds me all the food and then Eisuke carries me up to my room. He lays me down and covers me up, I know he wants to say something but will he?

He hesitates for a moment and then says "Hana, you can't live like this. Sor wouldn't want you like this. You need to get up and live for Soryu."

Before I could stop myself I say loudly as I turn to look at him "How can you not blame me!? Soryu is dead! If I was there sooner, none of this would have happened and I would be in bed with Soryu but no, I couldn't save him Eisuke! He's dead and you should blame me and want to kill me!"

Eisuke sits on the bed and pinches the bridge of his nose and as he looks out the window "I couldn't do it. I wanted to be mad at you and hate you and make you suffer but I realized it wasn't your fault and if it was anyone's fault it was mine. It was a mission for me, Hana. I told him to go before you both went on your date, I knew he was going to ask you to marry him and I was jealous so I asked him to do a mission before, just so he would be late and hopefully piss you off."

I stare at the side of his head and realize I have nothing to say to him now. If he wouldn't have been jealous and asked him to do a mission, he wouldn't be dead. I know in terms he didn't plan to get Soryu killed but still.

I can't stop crying and it sucks because I know after today, I will be leaving next week. I can't help but run out of the room to find Baba, I run to his room and knock, and say "Baba open up! Please!".

He rushes to the door and hugs me, picks me up and brings me to the bed and he says "Hana, do you want me to hold you?"

I can't say anything else I just grab his hand and pull his arm around me, while I rest my head on his chest. I must have feel asleep because when I open my eyes and its dark outside again. I must be so tired that it's keeping my nightmares away.

I look up at Baba and say "Thank you, Baba. You are truly a great friend. I want you to know, I am leaving soon and I don't plan on coming back but I want you to know, you can always call me."

He has a sad smile on his face "I'll miss you; it won't be the same without you or Soryu here."

I snuggle in his chest harder "I know but it's the right thing to do."

The next day I go down to the penthouse lounge dressed in black, brown wig and contacts in, and packed to go after the funeral. I walk in and everyone's sitting. I can't look to where I and Soryu use to sit. It hurts too much and I say to the guys "I wanted to let all of you know, I thankful for all of you, yes even you Eisuke. Today after the funeral I am leaving. I don't know if I will ever be back but I have to live my life. Without Soryu here and everything reminds me of him, I need to get away. I will have my cell phone, you can call me."

One by one they hug me and we go off to his funeral, and a lot of people are there. I know most of them, and his grandfather asked if I had any words to say. I walk up and put the rose on his casket, and turn around and say "Soryu, I said I would live but living without you is so hard. Everything has a memory for us, I don't know if I will ever get over you. I walk down the street and I look at the simplest think like a trash can and it takes me back to a memory of us fighting with trash can lids, when it snowed last year. You are strong and caring, loving and trusting, forgiving. I know, you always saw me for me and never pushed me beyond what I couldn't take. I want you all to know, Soryu may be gone in life but he is not gone in spirit. He will always be in my heart and I will never forget him."

With that I hugged his grandfather, Inui and Samejima and walked away. I wouldn't be seeing these people for a long time or ever.

It's been 6 months and all I've done is travel and work out. I hardly ever go out and see people. I hardly call back the boys from the penthouse back and now my father wants to see me.

Going back to japan, that just sounds so great. Not really, I don't want to but I haven't seen my dad, and it hurts him. I came back and went to his house were we sat and had dinner. He had gave me a big hug, and a kiss before I sat down as we are eating, he clears his throat and begins talking "Hana, I think it's time you come back and work for me at the NPA."

I spit my drink out before I can cover my mouth "Excuse me, what did you say father?"

He looks me in the eyes "You have been moping for 6 months, doing nothing. I want you to live again. Didn't you promise sor- Him that? I need you to come work with me; you will be the fighting instructor and be one of the hackers as well."

I look at him "It doesn't sound like that bad of an idea, but what about the fact I'm not in the NPA, dad?"

He rolls his eyes "You have been the NPA since you were 16 when I found you; I put you in as a secret service. People have heard about you for years, Hana."

I look at him "So what made me being a secret service person and all want to come out and become a fighting and computer instructor?"

He looks at me like this should be common sense "Because you want to show other people how good they can become, because look at how young you are and what high ranking you already have."

I smirk "What rank is that dear father?"

He gives me a bright smile and hands me an ID and papers "First Lieutenant Baucom."

He then says "Hana for being so young and being a woman people are going to judge you because you already have such a high ranking. Make sure you give them the image you want to have the rest of your career. The other instructors know you're coming and that you worked on the Special Forces but they have no idea you are a woman."

I give a small smile "I know, believe me. I will be the hard ass that I am. Great, I will make sure I enjoy the shock when you introduce me."

He smiles "That's my girl."

I smile "I also think it's best dad if people don't know that you're my dad."

He gives a sad smile "All I don't like to admit it, you're right. By the way you start tomorrow."

I look at him "Tomorrow? I don't have my shirt or my ranking"

He rolls his eyes at me again "Hana, you're clothes are waiting for you at the front door. You have to wear the shirt but the skirt is optional. You have to wear black slacks or dark blue."

I let out a deep breathe "Okay, father."

He smiles "Meet me there at 9, I will walk you up. Make sure you put your hair up." He hugs me and then says "Hana, I know it's hard but you need to let go, you can't live your life like this. I want to see you smile, a real smile again."

I hug him back "I will try and get better with time dad, I promise you will see my smile again one day."

I grad the shirt and the ranking, the jacket and the shows and head to my car. My dad bought me a nice apartment but put it in my name, can leave lose ends.

I get to my apartment new apartment and look inside, not too bad. Not bad at all. I throw my stuff on the couch and take a shower and fall asleep dreaming of Soryu whispering "You can be happy, Hana."

I wake up to the alarm blaring off my phone 6am, wow. I slept a full 8 hours, no nightmares or sweats. I get up and change into some black lace underwear, throw my navy slacks on then a black belt and change into a black lace push up bra, a white tank top and button up my new shirt. I put the ranking on the front and tuck my shirt in. Now time to fix my hair. My bangs cover up my forehead just about to my eyebrows and I wrap the rest of my long blond hair into a nice bun. I wear little eyeliner and I light pinkish-nude color on my lips. This is the first time in 6 months I have put make up on. I make me a pot of coffee, and think about making on omelet but I can't, so I stick with left over salad.

Its 8:25 am now, I have to start heading over, I get there and park my car. I scan my badge and walk in. A man bumps into me and looks me up and down with his dark hair and glasses. I forgot to put my ranks on my jacket; they are in my bag thank god.

I look at him waiting to say something; I take a deep breath and bow "Excuse me."

With that I walk fast into the bathroom and put my ranks on my jacket. I meet Ni in front of the room with all the Instructors, "Hana don't forget, they will test you, make sure you don't lose your cool. I have you gym bag ready for you in the Instructor locker room."

I nod to show I understand as he opens the door he whispers "Make me proud, baby girl"

We walk in all then men stand he says "At ease Gentlemen, I would like to introduce to the new fighting Instructor, First lieutenant Hana Baucom. First lieutenant Baucom has been working with the Special Forces since she was 16 and she is one of the best fighters in the whole NPA. She specializes in Fighting, bombs and hacking. Also good at talking people of ledges, First Lieutenant Baucom please introduce yourself."

I say "Thank you, sir." Then I look around the room and say with a straight face "It's a pleasure to meet you, hopefully you are as good at your jobs as the second in command says. I look forward to working with all of you." I finish it off with a small smirk.

I definitely took the bitch route, I wish I could say I care but I don't. If I meaner now, they won't flirt with me and I won't have to kill them.

I know it was taking my dad all his might to laugh out loud or smack the shit out of me. He clears his throat "Interesting, go around the table and introduce your selves captains, First lieutenants, lieutenants."

The next one to talk is the man I ran into in the hall "My name is Captain Hideki Ishigami."

The next one reminds me of Eisuke because of how arrogant he seems and says with a smirk "I'm the best Captain, Hyugo Kagu. It's a pleasure to meet you, Baucom."

It takes me so much not to roll my eyes at this man, I keep a straight face and nod. His face was strange I think he was trying to get a reaction out of me. You're going to have to try a lot more than that.

The next guy with light raven hair, bows and says "Hello, I'm First Lieutenant Shusuke Soma. It's nice to meet you."

I bow and nod, the next to stand is a man who reminds me of Soryu, he has dark raven hair, and dark grey eyes. This isn't good; he bows and keeps eye contact with me "Hi, I'm Lieutenant Sieiji Goto. I honored to be working with you."

I bow and give a quick nod; I will be staying the hell away from Seiji Goto, I can promise you that. The next man that stands and bows has light brown hair almost blonde and lightest brown eyes and almost as young as me "Hi, I'm Ayumu Shinonome, it's a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to working with you on the computers. You're last hacking mission of the terrorist group, was astounding. How you made it go black and we got all of them. It was amazing."

I give a small smile "Pleasure to meet you. That was my favorite mission, I had a blast."

He gives me a confused look, I explained "I also defused a bomb from that mission to but they didn't find the bomb on the other side, so we had a "Blast"." I give small laugh and then stop. "But it was a pleasure to meet you."

Then Ni says "Well that's everyone, Lieutenant Goto please show Baucom around."

He bows and smiles in my direction "Yes sir, my pleasure"

Oh hell this isn't good, he reminds me so much of Soryu. Lord almighty, please help me.

To Be Continued…..