A/N: Doing this more for myself because I don't think there's many Kate/Claire readers anymore, but that's fine :D I still love them! Anyway, I guess this is some kind of AU where it wasn't as crazy as the tv show, but Claire did get left behind on the island for three years, but Kate organised like a special search or something (with her oceanic settlement money) to find her and bought her home, where she struggles to readjust to everyday living.
Chapter 1.
"Claire?"
The voice spoke softly from behind her and Claire turned around; her eyes connecting with the concerned one's of Kate's.
"Oh, hey," she simply said softly.
Kate's eyes swept over the other woman and the hut that she had built in the backyard.
"This is where you disappear to in the nights?" she asked quietly.
Claire bit her lip and shrugged, "Yeah…" she looked to the ground, ashamed.
"Claire," Kate stepped forward and tentatively took the other woman's hand, "You don't have to live like this anymore. You're home now, you're safe now."
Claire looked to the makeshift home she had created before looking back to Kate, "It's just… inside, I feel so trapped. I don't know how to live…normally, anymore," she stopped, sighing, "You don't get it," she muttered, "You escaped… I was left behind…" she trailed off.
Kate could feel her heart breaking; just like it always did whenever Claire spoke of those lost three years where she'd been left behind and forced to fend for herself on the island.
"I know," she nodded slowly, "But I want to understand, I want to help you."
Claire's eyes were wide as she looked into Kate's, seeing only sincerity, "I don't know if you can."
Kate swallowed hard; the last thing Claire needed was for her to fall apart, "I can," she whispered, "You just have to let me, honey. It's not going to get better all at once, but slowly, you'll readjust to this life, it's where you're meant to be."
"It doesn't feel like home anymore," Claire mumbled.
"But it will," Kate squeezed her hands in her own, "It's just going to take some time," she pulled the blonde woman closer and met her gaze, "And I will be here to do whatever I can to make it easier for you. I will be here for whatever you need."
Claire stared back and nodded quietly, before wrapping her arms around Kate and burrowing her head into her shoulders. She felt Kate's arms encircle her and for a moment, at least, she felt a little safer.
"Shh, it's okay," Kate whispered as the smaller woman sobbed into her shoulder, "There's no rush, okay?"
"Thank you," Claire mumbled, pulling back, "I don't know where I'd be without you."
Kate smiled, brushing a tear from the other woman's eye, "You will never know because I'm always going to be here."
Claire smiled a little and looked back at her hut, "You want to come in?"
Kate rolled her eyes with a smile but followed her in, "Hm, you've definitely got skills," she noted, looking around; it looked just like Claire's hut back on the island, minus a few weapons and, she noticed, her eyes settling on the corner where Claire had once kept Aaron's crib, was left bare too.
"Well…yeah, I didn't go all out," Claire said quietly, standing next to Kate, "He's gone, Kate. I know that," she blinked quickly, trying to stop the threatening tears, "You tried… I just wasn't meant to be a mother, I suppose."
Kate sighed and put an arm around her friend's shoulders, "The island poisoned him, Claire. His immune system wasn't strong enough to deal with it the way ours was. But you were an amazing mother and you will be again," she squeezed Claire's shoulders again.
Claire nodded, "Maybe."
"Come on, why don't we go inside? I'll make you breakfast," Kate suggested.
Claire smiled, "Okay," she agreed, "But can we at least sit on the veranda?"
Kate smiled; it was hard not to when Claire's eyes lit up like that, "Sure," she agreed, "Whatever you like."
"Thank you for breakfast," Claire smiled, "It was delicious."
Kate bit her lip as she smiled, "Any time. You're very easy to please," she laughed.
"Your cooking isn't that bad," Claire teased, before tilting her head, "I do like it here with you," she squinted slightly, "You make me feel…safer than I have felt in a long time."
"I like having you here," Kate smiled, "You know, I don't really like people so much, but you, I like," she grinned.
Claire giggled, "I like you too," she nodded.
"You know, Claire," Kate leaned forward over the table, "I ran for a really long time, jumped from place to place, I could never settle… So I get the feeling trapped thing, really I do… so, if you need to go to that hut you built in the yard, I get it," she paused, "But if you're going to sleep out there, please let's at least get you some warm blankets, I don't want you to get sick."
Claire watched her friend wide eyed and nodded, "Okay," she whispered, "Warm blankets."
"And no guns or axes, okay?" Kate said, the hint of a smile on her lips.
Claire laughed quietly, "Okay, okay."
"I might head to the shops today, did you want to come?" Kate asked.
Claire shook her head, "No," she said quickly, "I can't."
Kate nodded, "Okay, that's okay. I've just got to get some groceries done. You know, though, you've got all that settlement money… I don't think you've really touched it…"
Claire shrugged, "I know… I should probably get some new clothes or something…"
Kate sighed, "More than that, Claire. You should spoil yourself, treat yourself for once. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it."
Claire grimaced, "I don't know," she mumbled, "What did you do when you got your money?"
Kate let out an amused breath, "Well, I bought this place, got the entertainment system , a whole wardrobe I'll never go through," she shrugged, "Come on, if you could have anything in the world, what would it be?"
Claire blinked, "Oh. I don't know," she replied, "I really don't know."
Kate shrugged, "Well, think about it. Anything. Really, Claire, you deserve everything. More than money could ever buy."
"You're sweet," Claire blushed.
"It's just the truth," Kate mumbled as she picked up the dishes and took them to the kitchen, leaving Claire looking after her. Claire bit her lip as she sighed and watched Kate walk away. She'd been so good to Claire, other than saving her from the island, she had taken her in and was trying, even though it was a struggle, to get Claire back into living in the real world.
Sometimes Claire was confused by her feelings for Kate. On the island, they'd been friends but when Kate had come back, after three years, there was this intense relief Claire felt upon seeing a familiar face. She'd clung to that and surprisingly, Kate had understood and accepted her clinging behaviour to the point of asking her to move in when they had arrived in Australia; Kate wanted a fresh start and she had promised to bring Claire home. It had only been a few weeks but Kate had been by her side constantly.
Kate seemed to be the only one who could make her feel safe or comforted. When she touched Claire, hugging her or touching her face like she often did, the younger woman felt butterflies in her stomach. At times she just wanted to crash into Kate's chest and stay there forever, breathing in her scent and feeling her heart beat against her ear.
Recently, though, she felt like kissing Kate. Connecting with her in a different way, a physical way. She missed intimacy, but it was more than that, sometimes she thought maybe she loved Kate, or, if she was honest, what she really meant was she thought she was falling in love with Kate. She just didn't know how to tell her, but sometimes she thought maybe it wasn't one way.
Small things, like how dedicated Kate was to taking care of her, the way her stare lingered and the way every time Claire let herself smile Kate's eyes would light up. The way Kate would brush her hair, a tradition that had started on the plane home when Claire had been almost catatonic, the way she would offer a hand or a simple touch whenever Claire went quiet.
"Claire?" Kate interrupted her thoughts, that concerned look back in her eyes.
Claire blinked and looked up guiltily, "Sorry, did you say something?"
"I was just saying I might head off to the shops now – "
"I'll come," Claire said suddenly, shocking both of them; she'd barely left the property in the few weeks they'd been in Australia.
Kate frowned, "Are you… Okay, sure," she nodded.
Claire bit her lip as she smiled and took Kate's hand tentatively. Kate smiled as she took it and squeezed.
"You'll be fine," Kate reassured her, "I'll be right by your side, honey," she squeezed her hand again, hesitating, "We'll be fine."
Claire smiled; she liked it when Kate referred to them as 'we'.
She nodded, "Okay. I should go get showered, then… and find some clean clothes," she chewed her lip, "Make myself presentable…" she said, patting her messy hair self-consciously; she still wasn't used to taking care of herself, aesthetics hadn't exactly been a priority on the island.
Kate touched Claire's hand and pulled it away from her hair, "You look fine," she said, "Why don't you go shower and I'll find you something to wear. Okay?"
Claire nodded, "Okay," she echoed, "Thank you, Kate."
Kate smiled as the other woman headed to the bathroom; it was strange, she thought, anyone else being so clingy and needy would have made her want a run a mile, but she didn't mind taking care of Claire at all. In fact, she actually enjoyed it. She knew Claire felt guilty about how much Kate was doing for her, but Kate knew Claire would be okay. She was already better than she had been the first week, where she'd insisted on sleeping in the backyard and didn't even think about a shower until Kate had suggested it.
Now she was showering most days and even about to leave the house for the first time in weeks. Things were already getting better and Kate knew that things would continue on the upwards incline. Then maybe, she wouldn't feel like she would be taking advantage of Claire if she were to make her true feelings known.
She smiled as she heard Claire's soft voice singing as she turned the water off; her accent was damn cute enough when she spoke, let alone when she started singing. Kate found some clothes for Claire and lay them out on the bed.
Claire was squeezing Kate's hand tightly and Kate squeezed right back, flashing that reassuring smile.
"You okay?" Kate asked, steering the shopping trolley with a single hand as Claire refused to let go of her hand, not that she minded.
Claire nodded, "Mhm," she hummed unconvincingly, "It's just…" she looked around, "loud. And weird. It's so…busy."
Kate nodded understandingly, "Yeah, it was like that when I got back too. Lived on island time for a while."
"Island time," Claire repeated, "Hmm, I used to wear a watch every day, now I never look at the clock, just the sun."
"It's different here though, we don't have to just…fight to survive now, we have a chance to truly live."
"Truly live," Claire repeated, "I don't know what that is anymore."
Kate sighed, "Me either," she admitted, "I guess it just means living with a sense of purpose."
Claire shrugged, "Purpose," she sighed.
Kate smiled, "We'll figure it out, honey."
There was that word, we, again and it made Claire smile as they turned down the next aisle.
"Oh! Peanut butter!" she exclaimed happily, letting go of Kate's hand to grab a large jar of peanut butter excitedly, "I love peanut butter."
Kate laughed, "I know you do. The first week you were back, it was the only thing I could get you to eat," she reminisced.
Claire blushed, her cheeks growing rosy, "Well, I think we should get more! You can never have too much peanut butter."
Kate shook her head, smiling, "Of course not," she teased gently, "I think that's about it. Did you want to wander for a while, or go back home?"
Claire nibbled on her bottom lip, "Can we go home?" she asked quietly.
"Of course," Kate nodded as she began unloading the groceries onto the checkout, smiling politely at the girl behind the counter.
"Thank you," Claire said quietly.
