I've gone without internet for a few days so i wrote this! It's just a random one shot where Lizzie still lives in her house she did with Tom...and stuff happens.
Probably a little unbelievable but meh! :D
Disclaimer: Don't own The Blacklist
Lizzie's body jolted in her sleep. She needed to run. She was young though, and still half asleep so she stood beside her bed and clung her stuffed bunny to her chest. She didn't cry but she stood in the middle of her room wanting to cry. Something smelled awful but she couldn't work out what it was. It frightened her though, so she called to her dad. Nothing but silence came out from her mouth and she started to panic. Why couldn't she speak? Deciding to walk to her father's room instead, she took a careful step, only to realise she couldn't move. She was stuck. In her bedroom with that smell. She knew how to run, she was a fast runner at school but her legs weren't moving on her command and she felt the sudden need to scream. No sound came out.
Then, she started to cry.
Was that smoke? She tossed in her bed and pulled the covers up over her head in frustration. No, it wasn't smoke, she told herself. It was a nightmare again. She hadn't had one in a while but it angered her when she did. She should be over them. She was old enough now to be over them, but they still scared her half to death.
Lizzie was on the verge between asleep and half awake so it was fortunate when she could just make out the soft whimper coming from the other side of her door. Her eyes flew open. She was dazed and slightly delirious from such a vivid dream. Half expecting to see Tom lying next to her, she rolled over. He wasn't there though, and a pang of pain hit her right in the chest. The faintest sound of nails scratching against her bedroom door had her sit up in bed and forget Tom. She felt around in the dark and switched on the lamp which sat on her bedside table. Her nostrils flared as she inhaled a calming breath to comfort her mind and get rid of the nightmare.
That's when she smelled it.
Though she wasn't adamant her senses were correct because it smelled just as her nightmare had. Maybe she was still asleep? She blinked her eyes to wake herself.
She sniffed again, and this time it was stronger, more potent.
Her eyes widened in alarm and for the second time, she found herself turning around to wake up Tom. However, a loud bark turned her back towards her door.
Hudson.
She scrambled out of bed quickly, half dragging the blankets on the floor and almost tripping herself up in the motion. She raced towards the door and flung it open drastically. Hudson darted in and circled her in a desperate flurry. Something was wrong because Hudson would never normally wander around at night, let alone scratch and bark outside her door.
"Hudson." She lent down and gathered the dog in her arms. The smell was even stronger now and she tried to focus, even when Hudson began licking her face gratefully.
"Okay..okay.." She swallowed down her panic and took a careful step out the door way. It was safe. She quickly made it to the top of her stair case and peered down. It was dark but the smell was still there.
"Shit my phone!"
She was unsure whether to go back and get it or get out of her house. She stood frozen, indecisive. She didn't know. What should she do? The sudden 'whoosh' coming from down stairs frightened her enough to get her to move. It was pitch black and she didn't have the time to turn on lights so she held one arm around Hudson, sloppily clinging the dog to her chest as the other hand slid down the rail of the staircase, guiding her down.
At the bottom of the staircase and to her left she saw it.
She saw the flames and she saw her nightmare, again. Flames and smoke everywhere in her kitchen, in her dining room. Tearing apart her sofa. Her paintings. Melting everything. She stared in horror because she surely, she surely could not be this unlucky. It was thick and hot and her lungs filled with the familiar fumes and her eyes stung. She started coughing violently and shoved Hudson's face closer to her chest.
This couldn't be happening.
This. This could not be happening.
"Is any body in there?!"
Her head snapped towards the front door and the quick movement of her head made her feel dizzy. She coughed again and she suddenly felt unsteady on her feet. While she still could, she quickly grabbed the door knob and turned it.
Fresh, cool night air greeted her lungs and a tall man, with dark brown hair reached for her and dragged her out quickly. His hand grasped gently but firmly around her upper arm, pulling her down the driveway and away from danger.
"Is anyone else in there?!"
She shook her head silently, confused and in shock as she followed along, her head turning back to look at her house.
Hudson grew restless in her grip and jumped, running ahead of them.
"Are you sure?"
Lizzie looked back at the man and nodded. "Yes. Yes it's only me and Hudson." She really needed to calm herself.
"Hudson?"
"My dog."
"Alright." The man let go of her arm once they were on the sidewalk. "My wife has called the fire department. They'll be here any second."
Lizzie nodded and saw a woman who looked to be in her forties race towards them. "My god! Are you alright? I've called everyone."
Lizzie nodded again, tears filling her eyes. She wanted to cry. She was scared, in shock and still not sure if she was having a nightmare. It was confusing as hell but real. So, so real.
The distant sound of alarms increased in volume and she turned back to watch her house. The upstairs windows were still dark but the flames were shimmering through the bottom windows fiercely. There was no hope, she knew from experience. Fires were fast.
Another woman, hearing the commotion had run from her house and wrapped a warm blanket around Lizzie, trying to comfort her with words, telling her that everything would be okay. That she would contact her family for her.
"Do you know any numbers? Perhaps a boyfriend? A family member?"
Lizzie shook her head, her lips slightly parted as she watched the deterioration of her house. It was captivating.
The firefighters wasted no time getting water on the house, racing around efficiently shouting orders and double checking with her that no one else was in there. She knew it was gone though, her house. It started crumbling, caving in. The fire melting it to black. Orange and red flames burning through her life of the last five years. Everything was disappearing from her life and she couldn't do anything about it.
Hot tears trailed down her cheeks and she started to sniff and cough because nothing else in her life could get any worse now. Her dad was dead. She shot Tom. Her house was gone.
She felt her body shaking first, then as she tried to calm herself by taking deep breaths, her breath caught in her throat and her lungs seized. She was hyperventilating, she knew, and she knew how to stop herself but she couldn't.
She threw up on the sidewalk.
Lizzie remained silent when the medical team ushered her quickly into the ambulance. She remained quiet when they gave her a bag to breath through, and someone to guide her through her inhales and exhales.
After some time, Hudson jumped in the ambulance with her and sat at her feet obediently. She gave the dog a watery smile.
"Hey Huds." She patted his head, scratching her nails behind Hudson's ears.
She had Hudson.
"Would you like us to call someone for you?"
"Um," Lizzie swallowed. "I don't- I don't know."
"A family member?" The paramedic prodded gently. "A close friend?"
Her mind rambled through a list of names. Josie, Ben, Lucy. Three friends that she had talked to once or twice in the last five months. She shook her head.
"A work colleague?"
Ressler? She could call him. But really, she wouldn't know what to do once she did. She couldn't deal with someone right now.
Or maybe she could.
"Um," Lizzie blinked her watery eyes. "If I give you a number will you ask them to come?"
"Sure. What's the number?"
Lizzie's voice came out croaky and weak and the paramedic passed her more water. She took a gulp them rambled out the number.
"A name?" The paramedic asked gently, the phone held to her ear.
Lizzie hesitated.
"Red."
It brought a strange feeling looking at her house now. It was dark but the street lights gave enough light to make out how utterly destroyed it was. Half of it was there, well almost half. But there was so much black. She had things in there, personal things. Photos of her dad. Things she had collected since she was a child. Her bunny. Her work. Her life. Her lips started to quiver as she stood on the pavement alone. Her neighbours kept their distance and the firefighters were too busy. The paramedic woman, Josie, was looking after Hudson. She stood alone and it seemed to fit her life because she had nothing left. She didn't want to be so morbid but it was hard not to. Not when she kept loosing things.
"Lizzie."
She turned to his voice, sudden relief filling her because she had someone there. Even if she didn't know him well, she knew him enough.
He was about ten metre away when he said her name, but even from that distance she could see his soft eyes full of sympathy and concern for her. His eyes roamed her body as he walked slowly towards her and she noticed he wasn't dressed as immaculate as usual. His shirt was scruffy and only half tucked in to his pants.
She started to walk towards him, slowly at first but she had a sudden need for comfort so she walked faster and when she came close enough she threw her self into his chest. Her arms circling his back and resting her cheek against his chest. He didn't tense, he didn't convey shock. He wrapped his arms around her.
"It's alright, Lizzie." His hand placed on the back of her head as he looked up at the remnants of her house.
Her body started shaking again and she sobbed desperately into his shirt, clutching the back of his shirt with her fingers. She wanted to hide away from everything, everyone. Red didn't say anything as she cried but he made sure to hold her a little tighter.
When she started to calm down and her breathing evened out, she peeled herself from his chest and hiccupped.
He smiled warmly at her though the pain he felt for her was still clear. "Have you had a check up?"
She nodded and stepped back from him. "Sorry about your shirt," she said, eyeing the tear stains she had left behind.
"It's not a problem. Where is your dog? I want to take you home."
"Oh no-" Lizzie started to protest but he cut her off quickly.
"I will not take no for an answer, Lizzie." Her replied. "Lets go retrieve Hudson and we will leave."
"I might need to stay and talk to someone first."
"I have spoken to them. You will visit them tomorrow when you are feeling better."
She didn't have the energy to object.
Lizzie and Hudson followed Red into his house. She had remained silent on the journey to his home because what could she say? She couldn't think of any small talk. He kept sending her concerned glances though, as if she was about to jump ship out of his car and roll onto the road. She wasn't thinking exactly that but her thoughts weren't exactly pleasant. She knew what rock bottom was, and she knew people said there was only going up from there, but right now she wasn't so sure. Loosing her dad was one thing, shooting her husband was another, but loosing her house as well? On top of it all? She came to the only conclusion that she must have done something bad somewhere in her life.
Red told her to sit while he made her a drink and she did, slumping into his sofa, still in her baggy t-shirt and pyjama shorts. Her eyes were unfocused and glassy and she started to cry silently. Hudson jumped up on to the couch with her and she quickly shooed him off.
"It's fine, Lizzie." Red called from the kitchen. "I'm rather fond of dogs."
Lizzie patted the seat next to her again, and Hudson happily jumped up holding no grudge, and rested his tired head on her thigh.
Red passed her a mug of something and she took it. She wasn't very thirsty but the warmth it had on her hands was enough.
"I thought you would have offered me something stronger."
Red sat on the other end of the couch, crossed his legs and sipped his drink.
"Not tonight."
"Thanks for coming."
Red nodded silently wanting to say something more but held his tongue. Lizzie accepted his silence and hoped it had nothing to do with him not really wanting to pick her up.
"You said that I had you," she quickly cleared up, avoiding looking at him as he was her. "That's why I called."
"I'm glad you did." He nodded again, looking straight ahead. "I would have called you tomorrow and you wouldn't have answered. I would have worried, driven to your house and that wouldn't have eased those worries particularly well, Lizzie." He responded. "So I'm glad you did."
Lizzie glanced at him quickly. He would have been worried for her. She didn't even know why he was so obsessed with her but she couldn't hide the fact that it was nice to have someone who seemed to care for her a great deal. She didn't even care if that person was a deadly criminal.
"I didn't leave the oven on," Lizzie said. "Or anything. I'm always paranoid about that stuff and double-check every night before bed."
"It could have been a number of things." Red responded, shifting in his seat to look at her. "Just try to focus on the fact that you are safe, Lizzie."
Red watched her face crumble before him as he spoke, and he blinked slowly not wanting to see her upset.
"Lizzie.."
"I don't know what I'm going to do," she cried. "I literally don't have anything left."
"You do."
"Tell me what to do." She turned to him quickly and Hudson, baffled at being woken up for the second time tonight, jumped off the couch and curled up on the carpet. "I don't know what to do."
Now that Hudson had removed the barrier between them, Red moved a little closer, and rested his arm along the back of the couch. His fingers stretched out to touch her shoulder but he refrained at the last second, and patted the back of the couch instead.
"You need to start over, a fresh slate from your father, Tom and the house that you shared with him. You need to focus on the things you do have."
Lizzie wiped her eyes with the back of her palm. "Like working with you?" She sniffed, seeking for answers.
"Yes," he nodded. "To a degree, yes. Your job, and your work friends. Not all is gone. You're an intelligent and strong woman, Lizzie, don't forget that, swee-" Red cut himself off, clearing his throat in the process.
"What?"
"You must be tired I was going to say."
Lizzie's eyebrow twitched upwards at his drastic change in subject. "Um, yeah a bit. But I don't think I will be able to find any sleep. Should I go?" She started to stand up figuring that he was hinting for her to leave. "I should go. I'm sorry for waking you so late but thank you for coming to get me."
"Where are you going?"
"A hotel."
"No, Lizzie. I have a perfectly furnished spare room. I insist you take it for the night."
"No it's okay. Hudson is especially noisy early mornings as well."
"Finding a hotel to allow pets will take time." Red debated. "Like I said earlier, I'm not taking no for an answer."
Lizzie stared at him and he stared back just as stubbornly, not wavering his gaze. He won. Both the staring competition, because it made her uncomfortable, and that she had given in to his offer.
"Where's the room?"
Red smiled politely. "Follow me and bring Hudson, I have another smaller room."
Lizzie gave him an odd look. "Hudson doesn't need a room, Red. He's perfectly fine down here."
"Nonsense." Red turned towards her, flabbergasted. "Of course he needs a room."
After following him up the stairs, Lizzie watched from the doorway as Red patted the single bed that was in the so-called, 'smaller room' it was bigger than her master bedroom. Especially now that she didn't have one. Hudson jumped on, feeling and acting a bit like royalty as he stared those big, round puppy dog eyes at Lizzie, demanding to be petted. She walked over slowly, and kissed Hudson on the soft fur on his head.
"Thanks for waking me Hudson." She smiled at her dog affectionately, her little saviour. "Love you Huds."
"Here we are," Red spoke softly as he opened up a door further down the hallway. Lizzie waited with curiosity to look inside. She had been up along the hallway before but had never entered any of the rooms. Never having reason to. She looked around the room in awe, it wasn't overly fancy but very warm and comfortable. The covers on the bed did however, look like puffs of clouds.
Lizzie walked over and sat down carefully on the edge of the bed, not really wanting to be left alone, but not wanting to demand him to stay and sit in silence with her. She didn't feel like talking but she wanted him to talk. He had a rather relaxing voice, and when he told her she would be okay, she tended to believe him.
Red felt quite awkward standing in front of her, even though it was his house, it was her room for the time being and invading her privacy felt wrong. He shifted his shoes.
"This room will be plenty warm enough but if you need any extra blankets they're in the wardrobe just there," he pointed towards the rather grand looking wooden wardrobe.
"Okay, thanks."
He took a step back, hesitated, then placed his hands back into his pockets.
"Lizzie, are you alright if I leave you?"
She kept her gaze firmly planted on her clasped hands on her lap and nodded. "Uh huh."
"If you would like to talk-"
"I don't want to bother you," she looked up at him, failing to keep herself from releasing her tears. "And I can't exactly-" she let out a sob and abruptly lay back on the bed, reaching for a pillow to hold over her face.
Red watched her with an expression that he was glad she could not see. "We don't have to talk. We can sit in a comfortable silence."
He allowed himself to sit on the edge of the bed next to her and despite not wanting to, he lay down on his back.
"It's good to cry sometimes, Lizzie."
She removed the pillow to the side and peered at him. He was lying close, she thought but not enough for her to be surprised.
She wasn't sure if he knew she was watching him but he continued to talk, telling her the benefits of crying. His voice was so soothing and deep and the way his lips parted as he pronounced each sound in every word. It was hard to deter her eyes.
When his head turned to look at her she found herself still looking at his lips. She moved closer because she couldn't hear what he was saying and she didn't take into account that it was probably because he wasn't talking anymore. She wasn't sure what maniac, absurd, idea was going through her mind, but she leaned towards him and kissed him.
Her hands remained at her sides but her lips softly moved over his lips and she tried to coax him to do something in return. But when he remained still, when his lips remained still, she pulled back ever so slightly and stared at him.
"Lizzie." Red watched her. "You're not thinking straight."
"I'm-I'm not?"
Red clenched his fist tightly at his side, begging with himself to stay in control as her lips were hovering so close to his. Her house had just burned down, and the last thing she needed was for him to kiss her back. She was upset and confused and most definitely not in the right frame of mind.
"Oh gosh," She flinched back from him and sat up. "That was-that wasn't meant to happen I swear I was-"
"Lizzie, it's okay." He started, sitting up next to her.
"I'm going to go." She said hastily, clambering off the bed and shooting out of the room almost as fast as her cheeks coloured.
"Lizzie," he followed after her. "Lizzie, please wait."
"Hudson, Hudson.." She called and Hudson exited his room begrudgingly. "C'mon boy we have to go."
"Just hold on."
"Huds..hurry up."
"Lizzie," Red began, getting frustrated as he followed her down the stairs. "Can you just stop for one second?"
She quickly opened the front door and shut it quickly behind her, shivering instantly as the night air hit her. She looked down at what she was wearing. No shoes. Pyjamas. No wallet. No car. Dammit, she thought. If she had brought her car she could have slept in it. But she had no keys. No phone.
The door opened behind her and she begun to walk again, trying to think where on earth she could go. But his hand grasped her arm, a little painfully, and he dragged her back into his house.
"Let me go!"
He slammed the door shut behind her and locked it. Not sure what that was going to do in stopping her leave, but maybe it would buy him some time.
"You locked Hudson out."
Red reopened the door, beckoned Hudson in and shut it again.
"Lizzie, you are the most infuriating woman I have ever known."
"Well it's your fault!" Lizzie responded defensively, pacing herself between the small distance of his entrance way.
"You Lizzie. You were the one who kissed me." He told her.
Lizzie blushed and quickly averted her gaze from him.
"You didn't have to barge into my life and ruin everything." She stared at his shirt, going off track but she didn't care. "You've ruined everything!"
"I'm struggling to understand what exactly I ruined? Please do tell me."
She looked back up at him. "You killed my dad, Red! And you knew about Tom and you knew everything." She flayed her hands about. "Ever since you came here, looking for me, my life has turned to shit!"
Red's eye twitched and she clenched her jaw, not at all afraid of him.
"Lizzie, your dad had lung cancer. He was dying." He told her with no emotion entering his tone. "And your husband was a liar inserting himself into your life for reasons that I do not even fully understand. He had nothing to do with me and your house? Are you assuming I set it on fire? Because what? I wanted you dead, Lizzie?" He chuckled but it was low and pained and she wondered if she'd hurt him. "I will not let you blame me for that."
"Why can't you just let me leave then?" she asked. "I just want to go."
He softened. "Where are you going to go?"
"I'm not sure yet. Can't I make that decision without you knowing? Do you have to know everything?"
Red sighed and stepped away from the door, letting her leave if she willed. "You called me, Lizzie. I don't understand why you won't allow me to care for you for one night."
Lizzie stared at him silently for what felt like minutes, but was only a few prolonged seconds.
"Sorry about kissing you." She muttered pushing past him to get to the front door. "That was the last thing in the world I would have wanted to do if I was thinking straight."
Red nodded. "Charming."
Lizzie paused her hand on the door handle. She scrunched her face. "I'm sorry," She sighed. "I didn't mean it like that."
"You don't need to explain." Red replied not looking at her and sifting his hands in his pockets. "Would you like the car?"
Lizzie took the keys he handed her. "Sometimes I wish you weren't so nice."
"I'm not nice to everyone." Red smiled. "Goodnight, Lizzie."
He had confused her again and she quickly took a step outside. "Hudson!"
"The dog can stay."
"No, it's okay...thanks."
"God, Huds." Lizzie shivered. "You would think someone like Red, would have his heaters working." She fiddled with the dials on the car heater, but only cool air was coming out. She had driven around trying to let the engine heat up but it did nothing.
She didn't have the energy to drive very far however, and she couldn't find it in her to drive to her house to just look at it. So instead, she found herself parked back outside his house. She opened the door, stepped out on to the cool pavement with her bare feet and raced up his driveway with Hudson tagging along.
In defeat, and a good amount of embarrassment she knocked on his door. She knocked louder when there was no reply. Cursing under her breath she tried to open the door, smiling a little when it was unlocked. Maybe he knew she would come back. That was an even more embarrassing thought.
She crept inside quietly, the lights were all on but she couldn't see Red anywhere. Hudson departed from her quickly, darting up the stairs and into his bedroom.
"Make yourself at home, huh Hudson," she whispered after her dog.
"I'm afraid, Lizzie, Hudson has more sense than you."
Lizzie squinted her eyes to see Red standing at the stop of his staircase. She stared in shock at his attire. striped, cotton pyjama pants and a plain, black shirt. This, she thought. This was very unexpected. Red in his sleep wear. Almost as surprising as her kissing him.
"Your heater didn't work," she replied sheepishly.
He quirked the side of his mouth up into a smile. "Do you want to go to sleep?"
"Not really. But I will take the room." She walked up the stairs and past him carefully. "Thank you."
"Lizzie, a second?"
She felt his gently grip on her wrist and she stopped to look at him.
"I don't know why this is all happening, Lizzie. It's cruel and unfair and everything wrong in the world." He spoke quietly. "But I am not going to let anything happen to you, so you need to keep going."
He waited for her to nod her head, then he let her wrist go.
He kept his focus on her as she made her way down the hall. He tilted his head to the side when she walked through the door and he followed her.
"Wrong room, Lizzie."
She back-tracked out. "Sorry!" She quickly glanced around his room nosily before stepping out and trying to work out where her room was.
"Down there to your left." Red guided.
"Great!" She nodded once. "Night."
"You're a wonderful kisser, Lizzie." He called behind her. "Lets do it again some time."
Lizzie turned to open her door and laughed despite her throbbing heart. "Have you been thinking that one up this whole time?"
"Of course not." He replied, offended. "Though, I promise next time I'll get a gold star for participation."
"Well, lucky for you." She replied. "There will not be a next time."
She held his gaze just to show she was serious, then quickly retreated into her room. She blew out a breath then made her way over to the bed. She pulled down the covers and climbed in. Her eyebrows narrowed when something was warm on her feet. She kicked around and clasped the heated bottle with her feet. Okay, that one was kind of sweet, she thought and reached down to pull the hot water bottle up with her hands. She cuddle it against her chest.
Tomorrow was going to be a big day. A new start. It really was going to have to be a new start because her house was now destroyed. She had nothing left.
Nothing.
"I do," she spoke quietly to herself.
She had Hudson. She had her crazy job and Ressler and Aram, Cooper. She even kind of had Dembe and maybe, sort of, a little bit, she maybe, kind of liked him..not the point, had Red as well.
