Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in this chapter, and I most
certainly don't own Elrond's Captain Underpants watch, obviously he owns
it. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Tolkien for LOTR, yes, yes,
thankyou very much.
Elrond sighed and looked down at his Captain Underpants watch. They were late as usual. Just when he went to the messengers to tell them to not come anymore, the Fellowship, along with Galadriel, Celeborn, Glorfindel, Faramir, Arwen, Haldir and Eowyn walked in. 'Ah, here you are. And about time, too,' said Elrond crossly. 'We are sorry, Master Elrond, but we did not think your message of much importance,' sniggered Galadriel. Elrond shook his head with dismay as everybody laughed. 'Yes. We do not think we are idiots, as you so kindly told us you were, and nor do we think we need education any more than you do, which was also what you said about yourself,' said Haldir. Everyone laughed again. Aragorn hiccuped, he had obviously been drinking too much. 'The curse of Mordor upon you all!! This is going too far,' said Elrond angrily. 'Nah, mate. Look here, I was the one who got rid of that Saruman guy. You should be thanking ME,' Aragorn said, half-drunk. 'You liar. It's Sauron. And anyway, I was the one who kicked him out of Hobbiton. I dragged him out by his beard,' retorted Boromir, who was also drunk senseless. He and Aragorn spent the whole of last night in the beer section of Elrond's house. His younger brother, Faramir, opened his mouth to say something, but instead a whole lot of vomit came out. He had been trying out some lembas bread but it probably didn't agree with the other food he had eaten before that, like some clay and pipeweed. Boromir laughed drunkenly.
'Yeah, that's it. Bring it all up, little bro. Here, you can use my shield,' he said, offering him his shield. Aragorn laughed as well. 'Yeah, and if you need any help, just call me. That's why they call me Strider the Ranger. Ranger the Stranger, hahahaha...' he couldn't stop giggling. Arwen shook him and slapped him on the face to make him sane again. Everyone started fussing around Faramir. Gandalf used his staff to thump the Captain of Gondor on the back (to get all the vomit out), Pippin offered him some cheese, Frodo started shoving mushrooms down his throat, insisting that it would help, Galadriel shone her phial down his mouth, trying to see when the next bit of vomit came out so she could forewarn Faramir, and Eowyn did nothing but have hysterics and run around the courtyard screaming 'HE'S GONNA CHOKE ON HIS VOMIT, HE'S GONNA CHOKE ON HIS VOMIT, HE'S GONNA DIE!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!' In the end, Arwen had to lead her away to convince her that they were NOT going to drown in Faramir's vomit, and to sedate her before she could commit suicide.
(An hour later)
When they finally realised that Faramir was going to be OK, they allowed Eowyn to come back (sedated, of course) and Elrond proceeded to drone on with his meeting. 'Now, I have been analysing your situations, and you all need some education to ah, freshen your brains up,' he said. 'Not me, my brain's still as good as ever,' said Aragorn, who was apparently still drunk. 'That's because you've got none,' replied Boromir, and the two of them started laughing again. This time, no-one joined in because it was the lamest thing they had ever heard anyone say. 'What?? But we do not hold schools in Middle Earth,' said Gimli. 'That, I have sorted out. You are to go to a school in another Earth, where they have proper teachers and you actually learn something good for your brain.' 'Yeah, unlike you,' said Glorfindel, and everyone cracked up again. Faramir started vomiting again. This time, nobody cared.
Elrond decided to ignore this insult, and sent them all to earth to go to school.
Elrond sighed and looked down at his Captain Underpants watch. They were late as usual. Just when he went to the messengers to tell them to not come anymore, the Fellowship, along with Galadriel, Celeborn, Glorfindel, Faramir, Arwen, Haldir and Eowyn walked in. 'Ah, here you are. And about time, too,' said Elrond crossly. 'We are sorry, Master Elrond, but we did not think your message of much importance,' sniggered Galadriel. Elrond shook his head with dismay as everybody laughed. 'Yes. We do not think we are idiots, as you so kindly told us you were, and nor do we think we need education any more than you do, which was also what you said about yourself,' said Haldir. Everyone laughed again. Aragorn hiccuped, he had obviously been drinking too much. 'The curse of Mordor upon you all!! This is going too far,' said Elrond angrily. 'Nah, mate. Look here, I was the one who got rid of that Saruman guy. You should be thanking ME,' Aragorn said, half-drunk. 'You liar. It's Sauron. And anyway, I was the one who kicked him out of Hobbiton. I dragged him out by his beard,' retorted Boromir, who was also drunk senseless. He and Aragorn spent the whole of last night in the beer section of Elrond's house. His younger brother, Faramir, opened his mouth to say something, but instead a whole lot of vomit came out. He had been trying out some lembas bread but it probably didn't agree with the other food he had eaten before that, like some clay and pipeweed. Boromir laughed drunkenly.
'Yeah, that's it. Bring it all up, little bro. Here, you can use my shield,' he said, offering him his shield. Aragorn laughed as well. 'Yeah, and if you need any help, just call me. That's why they call me Strider the Ranger. Ranger the Stranger, hahahaha...' he couldn't stop giggling. Arwen shook him and slapped him on the face to make him sane again. Everyone started fussing around Faramir. Gandalf used his staff to thump the Captain of Gondor on the back (to get all the vomit out), Pippin offered him some cheese, Frodo started shoving mushrooms down his throat, insisting that it would help, Galadriel shone her phial down his mouth, trying to see when the next bit of vomit came out so she could forewarn Faramir, and Eowyn did nothing but have hysterics and run around the courtyard screaming 'HE'S GONNA CHOKE ON HIS VOMIT, HE'S GONNA CHOKE ON HIS VOMIT, HE'S GONNA DIE!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!' In the end, Arwen had to lead her away to convince her that they were NOT going to drown in Faramir's vomit, and to sedate her before she could commit suicide.
(An hour later)
When they finally realised that Faramir was going to be OK, they allowed Eowyn to come back (sedated, of course) and Elrond proceeded to drone on with his meeting. 'Now, I have been analysing your situations, and you all need some education to ah, freshen your brains up,' he said. 'Not me, my brain's still as good as ever,' said Aragorn, who was apparently still drunk. 'That's because you've got none,' replied Boromir, and the two of them started laughing again. This time, no-one joined in because it was the lamest thing they had ever heard anyone say. 'What?? But we do not hold schools in Middle Earth,' said Gimli. 'That, I have sorted out. You are to go to a school in another Earth, where they have proper teachers and you actually learn something good for your brain.' 'Yeah, unlike you,' said Glorfindel, and everyone cracked up again. Faramir started vomiting again. This time, nobody cared.
Elrond decided to ignore this insult, and sent them all to earth to go to school.
