One day, Harry Potter was walking along, and found an enchanted squirrel. The squirrel was actually Snape, who had been stuck in squirrel form for months. No, years. Actually, it wasn't Snape, but whatever. Snape was so glad to see Harry Potter, that he jumped up and bit his face. "FUCK!" Screamed Harry, and turned this fanfiction into an 'M' rated fanfiction.

They were both instantly transported to Hogwarts (magically) where they were saved; They turned the squirrel into Snape, and then cured Harry of rabies. Suddenly, Snape walked in the room. And then he saw the OTHER snape. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON?" he said, which is how people express themselves in Great Britiain.

"Oops," said Madam Pomfrey. And then she turned the other Snape back into a squirrel. But she missed and hit Dumbledore, who was standing in front of the squirrel.

So now there was Snape (real snape), Squirrel!Snape, Harry Potter, and Mme Pomfrey.

Dumbledore jumped up and bit Harry's face. "FUCK!" Harry screamed.

"Language, Potter." Snape sneered snidely, while stupidly slipping sweetener into his sticky soda.

"At least I don't have an aliteration STD." Said Harry.

"I have what?" asked Squirrel!Snape.

/

END OF CHAPTER 1

We've decided that if we get one reviewer, we will post another chapter