Some days were better than others. Some days he could keep the smile one his face. Some days he couild act like he was OK. Some days he knew he had friends.
Some days were worse. Some days he couldn't smile. Some days it was hard to act like he was OK. Some days he forgot he had friends.
Sometimes it was hard. Everyone has their own defense mechanism. His was retreating into himself. He could sit in a room full of friends, and feel so, so alone. He would retreat into his mind, sitting still, quiet, trying to decide if he wanted to be noticed or not. They would ask if he was OK, and he would try to smile and reassure them. They didn't believe him, but they wouldn't push.
His name was Eridan Ampora. He was 19 years old. He was a Sophomore in college, and he felt like his life was falling apart.
Sometimes he could act like he was OK. He dyed a bright stripe of purple into his hair. He'd wanted to do it for ages, but before he was in theatre, and needed his hair to look natural. He'd had to give up theatre though; it wasn't practical. He couldn't support himself on a theatre major. He was a business major now, and it made him even more miserable. He could have gone back to the theatre department to visit, but it felt wrong.
Sometimes he laughed and joked with the others. He had friends; there was no denying that. He didn't have a lot of friends though, and most of them weren't very close.
He was getting tired. He was tired of trying, tired of pretending. He didn't know what to do. The scars on his arms were multiplying. He'd been wearing nothing but long sleeves since before he came to college. It was nothing unusual for him. He didn't like it, the pain, but he wasn't sure what else to do.
Sometimes he hoped people would notice. Sometimes he wanted to cry out for help, but he didn't know how. So he retreated into himself, and hoped he would be noticed, whilst simultaneously hoping no one would notice.
Sometimes he didn't know what to do. He was losing friends. He was used to it, but that didn't mean it hurt less. He felt alone, so alone.
Sometimes he didn't want to go through another day.
His name was Eridan Ampora. He was 19 years old. He was a Sophomore in college, and he never made it to his 20th birhday.
