Testing the waters with this...


"Mrs Anderson? Can I have a quick word?"

Abby stopped but didn't turn around. She'd been expecting this for a few days now but had hoped to avoid it. The teacher had written in Louise's school diary that they were concerned about her.

"Of course," she said, forcing a smile and turning to face the young teacher. "Though I do have to..."

"It'll only take a few minutes. Louise can sit in the library and wait for you there, Mrs Hamilton is there with her after school club."

Abby nodded at Louise, who was biting on her bottom lip and looking very worried. The six year old believed there was only one reason why her teacher wanted to talk to her mum. She was in trouble. "It's OK sweetheart," Abby reassured. "Daddy and I will talk to you later."

In the classroom, Abby sat by the teacher's desk and waited. After reading the notes in the diary, she and Matt had prepared a story just in case. She wished he was here now; he was so much better than her at spinning a cover story.

"Your daughter has quite a vivid imagination," Mrs Peterson began. "Not that that is a bad thing of course, but we've had some complaints from other parents that some of the things Louise is saying is scaring their children to a point where they're having nightmares and have told their children to stay away. We've also noticed that some of the children are being unkind to Louise, calling her names and saying she's weird. She doesn't seem to have many friends."

Abby was afraid of this. Right from the start, she and Matt had decided that they would not keep the ARC or the nature of their work a secret from their daughter. They had tried to drum it into Louise that she couldn't tell anyone else, but it seemed she was finding that too difficult.

"As I'm sure you're aware, I'm a zoologist, and I specialise in reptiles," Abby began, launching into the story she and Matt has rehearsed. "And my husband is a botanist doing research into rare, tropical species. We often bring our work home with us, and our home is a menagerie of exotic creatures and plants."

The teacher smiled, "Louise has told us. I'm sure it's a very interesting and stimulating environment for a child."

"We're keen that Louise understands what we're doing. Our work is all about evolution and prehistory."

"And that's where the problem is, Mrs Anderson. Louise has an obsession with wild, prehistoric creatures and that's what is scaring the other children. Perhaps when her writing skills are more developed we can channel some of her imagination into creative writing, but for the moment..."

"I understand. We have spoken to her before, but we'll have another chat this weekend. I'm glad you brought it to our attention."

Abby couldn't wait to get away. As they walked back toward the car, she allowed Louise to skip ahead, giving her a few moments to her own thoughts. It was partly her fault that Louise was the way she was. She'd wanted Louise to have a love of dinosaurs right from the start; it was the kind of child that Connor would have wanted, but it was only now that she was realising that fact. She'd been pregnant when Connor first disappeared through the anomaly that closed sooner than the device had predicted it would, though he didn't know it. She'd planned to tell him over dinner that evening. The stress of the following weeks was too much and she miscarried, plunging her even deeper into depression. She'd lost the only thing she had left connecting her to Connor.

It would be two long years before Abby began to accept that the likelihood of him coming back was very slim and that she needed to snap out of it and move on with her life. The thing with Matt had crept up on her; he'd been the one that had dragged her out for dinner when she really didn't want to go out in public. He'd spent long hours with her in the local park, listening to her talk and sometimes holding her when she needed to cry. In return, she cooked for him and listened to him when his relationship with Emily was beginning to fall apart. It was one afternoon as she sat sewing a button back on his jacket for him that she realised just how much she missed taking care of someone else. When Matt confessed that the reason Emily had left him was because she thought he had fallen in love with someone else, it made sense and all fell into place. Three years after Connor's disappearance, Abby married Matt in a small service at the local registry office and fell pregnant with Louise almost straight away.

"Are you cross with me, mummy?" Louise asked as Abby made sure that she was properly strapped into the back seat of the car.

"No sweetheart, but I wish you'd told me that the other boys and girls were being unkind to you. Daddy and I could've done something about it."

"I'm sorry. I thought you'd be angry with me because you said that I couldn't tell anyone about the anomalies."

Abby sighed and kissed Louise on the cheek. "That doesn't matter now. We need to think about how we can put things right for you and make school a happy place again." She got into the driving seat and started the engine, glancing in the rear view mirror at the sad little girl in the back. Abby's heart broke for her. She knew only too well the pain caused by bullying; being branded as "weird" or "odd". In her own childhood, she'd dealt with it by becoming a bully herself but that made her even more lonely than she had been before. She also remembered stories Connor had told her about being bullied at school after his father had died. It was something she had hoped to be able to protect her own daughter from, and right now she felt like a complete failure.

-o-

It was a long, stressful evening with many tears. When they finally got Louise settled enough to go to sleep, both Abby and Matt were exhausted. They'd not been able to come to any solutions and the tension between them grew as the evening progressed. Abby came out of Louise's room after tucking her into bed to find Matt pouring them both a glass of wine.

"A little back up would've been appreciated," she said shortly, picking up her glass and drinking a long mouthful. "You may as well not have been here."

"I just don't have the experience of school and kids and bullying. Anything I could've suggested would be meaningless."

"She just needed her daddy to tell her that he was there for her and that he wasn't cross with her."

Matt shifted forward awkwardly then glared at her angrily. "Well I'm sorry that I'm such a failure as a parent. I'm trying my best, but clearly that's not good enough."

Abby slammed her glass down. "It just takes a little empathy, that's all. You may not have had formal schooling but surely you at least have some idea what it's like to be a child?"

He sighed and shook his head. They'd been through this many times before. Matt's early life had not been conventional, and whilst he had no difficulty fitting into a military or government role, ordinary life often left him baffled. Abby was normally sympathetic and guided him through unfamiliar situations, but it seemed that her worry over Louise was making her irrational. There would be no talking to her whilst she was in this mood.

"Perhaps we need a little break?" he said softly. "Why don't we take a drive to the coast tomorrow, just the three of us? A bit of family time might..."

"You really don't have a clue do you?" Abby snapped. "You know what? Connor would've known how to help Louise." The moment the words left her lips, Abby regretted them. If she could take them back, she would, but they had already done their damage. She could almost see Matt's soul shattering inside. The fight left him, his shoulders dropped and he silently placed his glass on the table before rising slowly to stand.

"I'm going to bed," he said, striding towards the door of the room they shared.

"Matt..." It was too late. The door was already closed and he had shut her out. With her head in her hands, Abby tried to clear her mind. Why did she have to say that about Connor? It was the cruellest of blows to throw something like that at him. He couldn't help it if he'd not been brought up around other children or allowed the basics of childhood that most people took for granted. She didn't blame him for walking away; in fact she wouldn't blame him if he left her altogether. She'd been snapping at him a lot lately for no reason at all.

"You're an idiot, Abigail Anderson," she said out loud. Matt had been wonderful. He'd helped her get through the lowest point in her life, he'd been her strength and her comfort and she really couldn't ask for a more attentive and loving husband. If she didn't sort herself out, she would lose him. That was a terrifying thought and was something that she couldn't allow to happen. Leaving the half drunk glasses on the table, she went into the bedroom.

Matt was laid on his side with his back to her as she sat on the bed to undress. He didn't turn or roll over to acknowledge her as he would usually do when he'd gone to bed before her. She really had hurt him this time. She slid herself under the duvet and pressed herself against his back, circling her arm around his waist and nestling her head into the curve of his neck and shoulder. His scent filled her nostrils and infiltrated all of her senses; this was where she felt safe and comforted. "Matt," she whispered, planting a soft kiss to his neck. "I'm sorry. I was out of order. What I said about Connor..."

He rolled onto his back and sighed. "Why does it always feel like there's a third person in our marriage?"

"What?" Abby was taken aback.

"Connor's always there. I feel like you're constantly comparing me to him, like I don't measure up. In your eyes, I'll never be as good as him. I'll never be the husband that you think he would've been, I'll never be as good a father as you think he would..."

"That's not true, Matt!"

"Isn't it? Right now, it certainly feels like that." He rolled back over, practically shrugging her off. Abby was stunned. She had no idea that he felt like that. How long had he thought she was comparing him to Connor? It was only this afternoon that she'd realised she had been encouraging Louise to be the daughter that Connor might have raised, but it clearly wasn't the only thing she'd been doing without even realising it. She loved Matt, so she couldn't understand why she was unconsciously thinking about Connor. Tears were beginning to sting her eyes as her fear of losing Matt began to well up.

She had to get out of the room and try to shake off this feeling. Slowly sliding out of bed and putting her dressing gown on, she then tiptoed out so as not to disturb Matt. By the time she'd taken the wine glasses into the kitchen, her tears were flowing freely. Angrily wiping them away, she attempted to rinse the glasses through under the tap but she couldn't focus and one slid from her hand, breaking as it hit the base of the sink. She then cut her finger as she tried to pick up the pieces. Now sobbing hard, she leaned against the sink and just let it all out.

Abby had no idea how long she'd been stood there for when she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder, warm breath at her neck and an arm circling her waist. "Come back to bed, Abby," he whispered. "It's too cold without you."

"I'm sorry," Abby turned and buried her head against Matt's chest, allowing him to envelope her in his embrace. She clung to him, relieved that he hadn't shut her out completely but still afraid that the things that had been said tonight were driving a huge wedge between them.

"I'm sorry too," he said, kissing the top of her head. "We're both tired and stressed because our daughter is having a hard time at the moment and we couldn't agree on a way to help her. But taking it out on each other is not the answer. We need to be together on this."

"I know, and maybe you're right. Some family time is needed. I don't remember the last time just the three of us went off somewhere. It'll do all of us some good to unwind I think."

"Louise'll be up early anyway. We can head off straight after breakfast."

Abby felt better already, the tension beginning to leave her body. She was aware of Matt's hand sliding into the opening of her dressing gown as he dipped his head to seek her lips for a kiss. Need coursed through her body as their limbs tangled, and when his fingers grasped hers and tugged her hand she knew where he was taking her and she willingly let him lead her back to their bed.

-o-

It really had been a great idea to come to the beach together. They'd found a secluded spot well away from the shops and tourists and settled themselves for the day. Right now, Abby was leaning against a rock pretending to be engrossed in her book whilst she sneakily watched Matt and Louise play. They were both bare foot and rolling up their jeans to their knees, getting ready to paddle in the sea. Louise's high pitched giggles filled the air, punctuated by Matt's deeper laughs, and it made Abby smile. They began to race each other towards the sea, with Matt clearly holding back to make Louise think she was winning, then he predictably caught up with her, grabbing her around the waist and lifting her off her feet to spin her around. The squeals that met Abby's ears were like music. Seeing Matt letting his guard down and experiencing something that she'd taken for granted as a child made her heart feel light. Simple pleasures making for treasured memories.

This is what Louise needs, she thought. Normal. Perhaps they should have sheltered her from the realities of their work a little, at least until she was mature enough to understand why she should keep it secret from others. She would try to encourage a bit more normality in their lives – perhaps Louise would like to go to the local gym with her and join in on the junior judo classes or something? She'd seen the little ones coming out of their class sometimes when she went to the gym and it had never crossed her mind that Louise might be interested. It would be a start at least.

Later, sandwiches eaten, Louise was content to sit a little distance from her parents making sandcastles whilst they sat, snuggled into each other. "Are we OK? After last night..." Matt asked.

"Of course we are, last night was just … I love you and we'll get through this." She kissed Matt and he whispered that he loved her too. All was well with the Anderson family once again.

It was already starting to get dark by the time they'd eaten their fish and chips supper and were heading back to the car. Abby felt her mobile phone begin to vibrate in her back pocket and she pulled it out. Matt's phone had also come to life as both of them were alerted to several text messages and Matt had a couple of voicemails as well.

"I guess we've not had a signal whilst we've been on the beach," Matt said as he dialled the number to access his voicemails.

"Mine are all from Becker," Abby said. "Do you think we've missed an anomaly?" All her messages were similar; Becker wanted her to get Matt to call him 'urgently'. She glanced over at Matt, who was listening to his messages with a worried expression on his face. "What's wrong? Has there been an anomaly? Please tell me there hasn't been an accident?"

"We have to go the ARC, we'll drop Louise at Jess and Becker's on the way. Jess is expecting us."

"Matt?"

He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, preparing to tell Abby what Becker had said in his messages. "There was an anomaly earlier today. Abby... Connor came back. He's at the ARC now."