That 1870s Show.
(Ookie here's the 411: This was caused by sugar high and my idiotic attempt and gullibility to inhale Coca Cola to try and get high as well as a rant me and my friends had at school)
Setting: Ye Olde Wisconsin. The gang is dressed in pioneer-esque clothing.
Eric: Hello thine friends, check-eth out my new Juliet action figurine!
Kelso: Art thou substituting yon beauty Donna with thy action figurine?
(Donna punches him)
Kelso: Ow-eth!
A random villager holding a pitchfork runs up to them with an angry mob following him.
Villager#1: Yon redhead hath punched yon stupid one!
Villager#2: Wench whom go-eth by Donna, We accuse-eth thee of being-eth A WITCH!!
Villager#1: Get-eth her!
The villagers chase Donna through the village with pitchforks and torches
Donna (sarcastically): I thank-eth thee foul moron! (Runs off into the distance)
Hyde: Rank idiot! You got-eth Donna run-eth out of town! I shall smite-eth thee! (Tackles Kelso)
Kelso: Ow-eth my eye!
(Opening theme)
(The gang is sitting in a canvas top wagon)
Hanging-eth out!
Down-eth the street,
The same ye olde thing,
We did-eth last week,
Not a thing to do-eth
We talk-eth to thou
We' re all all right!
We're all all right!
Hello ye olde Wisconsin!
Scene change, tumbleweed flies past.
Setting: Kitty is roasting a large boar on a cook stove and Red is polishing a rifle.
Kitty: Oh it is a shame that Donna is to be hung-eth at yon gallows.
Red: I just wish-eth that you would stop-eth turning thine house into yon refuge.
Kitty: Why do thou say-eth that? Oh art thou girls hungry?
At this point Jackie, Midge and Bob's Hoe (I forget her name) come into the room.
Jackie: Yes, we have become-eth most famished, Thank-eth thee Kitty.
Red: Will thou wenches just leave-eth thine house!
BH (eyes turn red): We art welcome here!
Red (jumps backward): GAH…ETH!
Kitty (doesn't notice): Here you are girls!
Scene change: Eric rides a horse past.
Setting: The gang is hanging out at Donna's cell in the prison.
Donna: Thou art an asshole Kelso!
Kelso: Well you punched-eth me!
Hyde: I miss-eth Jackie
Eric: So you do like-eth her!
Hyde: Shut-eth yon pie hole!
Kelso: Don't deny-eth it Hyde
Hyde: I shall smite-eth thee! (Yet again tackles Kelso)
Donna: How the hell am I going to escape-eth this rank prison cell!
They sit and think for a moment.
Eric: Hang-eth on!
Donna: Please don't say-eth that!
Eric: I have-eth yon idea!
Hyde: What is that?
Eric: I heard-eth off a villager that there is-eth a British exchange-eth worker in yonder education center!
Kelso: Oh I get-eth it! Dress-eth him up as a witch!
All stare at Kelso.
A law enforcer comes up and tells them to leave, as he has to escort Donna to the gallows.
Scene change: Donna runs away from Villagers.
Setting: Donna is standing on a trapdoor with a noose around her neck. A villager runs onto a platform in front of the gallows.
Villager: Wench known-eth as Donna! Thou stand-eth accused-eth of witchcraft, Thou have been proved-eth guilty by punching-eth yon village idiot whom goes-eth by the name of Kelso! On this day thou art to be hung-eth by the neck until dead.
Voice from the crowd: Stop-eth the hanging stop-eth the hanging!
Eric runs onto the platform.
Eric: Hitting Kelso doesn't prove-eth she's a witch! We all do-eth that in one-way or another. What real proofs do you have-eth?
Random Villager: She turned me into a newt!
All stare at him
Random Villager: I got better.
Eric suddenly gasps.
Eric: LOOK-ETH A BRIT!
There, standing on a large hill proudly wearing nothing but long johns and a British flag, as a cape is Fez. He opens his mouth and in a British accent begins to sing.
Fez: God save our gracious queen…
Village: The Brit he doth sing his national anthem in the presence of Americans! Surely he must be-eth a witch!
The Villagers chase Fez off into the distance.
Eric undoes Donna's noose.
She hugs him.
Scene change: Commercial break
Commercial ends.
Credits start rolling
Eric suddenly wakes up. It's the 1970s and he's in a cold sweat. He then realizes he's in his basement.
Eric: What the hell? That was such a weird dream.
He hears a banging from under the carpet.
He pulls back the carpet to find a trap door.
Kelso's voice: Let-eth us out!
Hyde's voice: What he said-eth.
Eric starts screaming and runs upstairs.
-End-
