I am deeply sorry about the delay of Melting the Cold Ice story. Please rest assured, it will not be discontinued. I was a bit busy because I have to look for jobs, and now that I have one, I can focus a bit more. Please look forward to it! This one-shot story has been sitting in my Doc Manager for months, I intend to publish it after Melting the Cold Ice completed as a sequel, but I believe that you guys deserve something new as a reward for waiting ^^ Thank you for loving my work, I really appreciate it!
PLEASE HELP ME FIND THE ARTIST WHO DREW THE COVER IMAGE!
Disclaimer: I regretfully say that Saeyoung isn't mine. Like character creation-wise. So is the rest of RFA...and the whole MM plot, too. The only thing I have in this is the plot in this one-shot , MC's character and her whole stupidity. Thank you very much.
"The moon is a loyal companion.
It never leaves. It's always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it's a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human.
Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections."
Tahereh Mafi
Like the Moon
She's always there.
Sitting right next to the enormous window she love the most, getting lost in thought.
What were you thinking about when your eyes wanders far?
.
I suddenly remember her 20th birthday.
.
"Honey!" I yelled in panic, rushing to her room. Or should I say.. a fake room. Or her work place as she said it. There's no way I'll let her sleep alone. That room was only there to pretend that we sleep in separate space, because she insisted that it would be inappropriate if Saeran saw us sleep together before marriage.
She choked in her drink she was having, almost wet her work-in-progress sketches. Coughing sounds followed after and I rushed to her side, wiping her face with tissue.
"Oh my God, I'm sorry," I said, taking the glass from her, "this is all because of you!"
Her eyes stared at me as if I'm the most absurd thing in the world the middle of her cough.
"Me?! You came in and..."
"Your fault for hiding your birthday!" I cut her off.
Dark brown eyes squinted in disbelief before she abruptly stand up.
"Hiding?! You did background check on me, thoroughly, you came to my college in your sports car, drawing attention from the entire students, suddenly appear at my home asking my mother permission to...to..."
"To live together with you," I continued for her. Stroking her arms to soothe her.
"To live together with me!" she finished after catching her breath. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, I still remember how angry she was when I suddenly appear at her door, asking her mother to give her daughter to me and won't accept no as an answer. She insisted that she do love to live with me and would try talk to her mother herself soon. But I was too impatient, I can no longer live without her presence close to me especially after she accepted my proposal. Also when I came to her college a few weeks ago with my baby Ferrari 458, intend to ward any pests which dare to get close to her. The message was clear: this girl is mine and therefore off limits. I was jubilant that my missions are completed, but she refuse to talk to me for days as a result.
I should've have known how she cherish her privacy from the way she got angry when I teasingly said I did background check on her the moment she joined RFA.
"You, you did all that. Do you have any idea how chaotic it was?!" she yelled, "They thought I was missing for weeks messing around with a man!"
"But we did mess around ... " I said, teasing, earning a blush.
Adorable. Even after many times we did it, she still blush.
Oh yes, I did made a mess out of her. Her hair sprawled wildly on my pillow, her hands clenching the sheets, hoarse voice begging me for mercy... not to mention all the marks I left on her...hmm...
"That's not the point!" she snapped, waking me up from the daze, "you must've known my birthday. You just forgot!"
Damn. She found out.
"But..b-but honey... I didn't intend to...," I pleaded, my head hung, "I- I was busy and..."
She huffed and stroked my arms softly, stooping to see my face clearly, "Saeyoung, I know you didn't mean it. It's okay, it's just a birthday."
This is where I don't understand.
"It's YOUR birthday!" I insisted, standing up straight again causing her another shock, "You should be angry when I missed it! I-I must make it up to you. Ask me anything! A car? A new house? You did said that this one is too big, should we see another one?"
"Oh, whoaa whoaaa. Hold on!" she put her hands forward to stop me, "you don't have to, really."
And she stopped me again when I open my mouth to say another word.
"Saeyoung-ah..." she said, her tiny hands gently touch my cheeks, "Seeing you finally happy with your dear brother and a promise to be yours a few months from now is enough for me. That's like a gift worth my life-time. I'll be punished if I wished any more."
This girl...
"And you gave me plenty already, you silly, silly man, like literally," she suddenly tighten her hands on my cheeks, "look at this room, it's full of the things I called cute out of a whim. Don't you dare give me more!"
Dear God, why does women have to be so difficult? If they said cute doesn't it mean they want it? I can't stop showering her with gifts because that's my promise when I first gave her RoboCat. And she deserve every single cute things in the world!
"Ugh..." I groaned while caressing my cheeks, "But I really want to celebrate this..."
"Let's celebrate then, call the rest of RFA and we'll throw a party!" she cheerfully said, "Having a party is better than more gifts."
A moment with RFA is indeed precious, and of course I will throw a party, but it's not what I mean...
"I... I want to do something special for you," I murmured, "Your birthday is precious to me because it's the day when you were brought into this world. I can't be thankful enough for that."
And her cheeks tinted with red again. Cute girl never realize how precious she is. I swore with my own blood that I will offer her all the love she deserve, as a compensation during the time I pushed her away.
"But.. I really don't have anything I want now..."
"Anything? Please?" I demanded, "something that you would love to spend time with it, so you can remember me more."
She went into deep thought, eyeing her room which is already full of gifts, looking clearly clueless.
But her eyes suddenly brighten in realization.
"A window," she said with cheeky smile.
What?
"Honey if you haven't realize, this house..no, fortress, is huge and has many windows," I told her, "and you need more?"
"Yes," she said, "I want one more..."
"Honey..."
"A HUGE one," she continued, her tone taunting me, "the one that will resemble a glass wall. I've been wanting it ever since I was a kid. Can you do it?"
She wants a huge window.
No, she's taunting me because she knew it's difficult to be granted.
"Are you sure?" I said seriously, my hands folded in front of my chest, accepting her challenge. She stood there confused, she probably thinking I would laugh at that that give up the idea about more gifts. Honey, secret agents don't cower to challenge, we dance with it.
"Y-yeah. I'm sure," she replied with fake certainty.
"Deal."
A month after that, a new bump was added into the house. Had to spend a bit to speed up the process, but anything for her. A spacious room at the first floor headed to the west with 2 sides of wall made of glass, ready for her use. I thought she was just taunting me at first, but apparently she really do love it. I knew it because that was also the second most passionate night after the day I proposed to her. Thank God our room is soundproof or Saeran wouldn't be able to sleep.
Ever since then, her wandering eyes habit become more apparent. I didn't really realize it before because I was busy, but I think she does it too during her stay in Rika's apartment.
"Enjoying your time?" I said, waking her up from her stupor, walking up to her.
"Saeyoung...," she smiled, hands reaching up to mine. I grabbed it and sit beside her, "I was thinking."
"Hmm? About what?" I asked.
"About.. our wedding..," she replied, intertwined her fingers with mine,"... and our future marriage."
"Yo-You're not having second thoughts aren't you?" I gaped, "I'm not going to let you back off on this!" Earning soft slap on my arms playfully.
"Are you crazy? Of course not!" she giggled, "I worked so hard to get you, I'm not giving up."
"You do," I smiled, stroking her head, "What were you thinking about?"
She shifted, facing me directly. Our hands still holding to each other. I feel her palm starts to sweat, is she nervous?
"Saeyoung...," she gulped, "Don't you think...it's too early?"
That strikes me. Is she trying to postpone the wedding? Why? Until when? It's still 3 months away and I barely can wait for the time I can officially call her mine. I would love to drag her to the church and marry her right now.
"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling insecurities growing inside of me, "You just said you're not backing off from this."
"I-I'm not..." she stuttered, "But...we just met not too long ago. You don't know much about me yet."
"I do," I said, "I know you. You're warm, wise, you got me back on my feet, you're brave..."
"Saeyoung, that isn't always me!" she raised her voice cutting me off, "I- I do really care for you, that is true. I didn't fake it. But...all of those praises isn't all.. me... I.."
"You're terrified of cockroach, stubborn, got one hell of a temper during the time of the month... some of the music in your playlist is horrid..." I teased her while observing her expression.
"K-pop isn't horrid, you're just picky," she said, pouting.
"Whatever." I replied, "Hmm...you're moody, love hugs, can be a messy eater, kinda have problem handling kids, you love to sing words with weird tunes...what else?"
"H-how did you know I sing words? Did those background check include that?!"
"Hahaha, no. Your sister told me." I grinned," Aaaand..."
"Ah, enough I don't want to hear anymore it's embarrassing!" she get up and attempted to release my hand. But I grip it tight to stop her. You need to hear it all.
"You had deep heartbreak towards your father," I said, eyes deep into hers, "... ran away from him and refuse to meet for years because you knew you will only said bad words to him."
She stared at me in shock, her eyes glinting anger and disbelief. I know how well she intend keep it hidden. Had to dig deeper than I have to. I did realize that she was too mature for her age and curious as for what triggered this behavior. I saw how her lips wanted to give me some lesson, but I stopped her before she start yelling at me.
"You visited psychologist to keep your depression in check, because you're afraid you'll turn into your father with all your temper," I continued, she start to try harder yanking my hands, but I stand firm.
"I'm sorry, I had to find out myself," I said, "but I am your husband-to-be. I deserve to know."
"You don't deserve to dig someone's problem," she said, being defensive, "I have every right to hide it from you!"
She start to push me away, her grunts of anger slowly turn into sobs. It hurts me to see her cry, but this need to has an end. Her endless wall is surprisingly, as hard as mine. I understood that she want to keep it hidden, but why does it so important to keep this for me? I was born from the malfunctioning family too, she don't have to be ashamed.
"Luna...," I grabbed her hands firm, "Luna, listen to me."
"Let me go!" she wails. However, her effort ceased immediately. Her ulcer must've been eating her from the inside, draining her strength, "I-I don't want to..."
"You don't want me to know?" I asked her softly, holding her close, stroking her back to soothe her. I saw her fluffy head nodding yes, I asked her more, I need to know why, "You knew how wrecked my family was, you don't have to hide it from me. Is there any other reason why?"
"The sun...," she murmured after awhile.
"Yes?" I asked her, moving her body from my shoulder so I can hear her clearly.
"I... wanted to be..your sun," she said between sobs," I want to be bright for you..."
Ah.
It's all finally makes sense. She was afraid that I would be disappointed if I know that she's not a merry-cheerful-all-the time-girl. Because that's the side she's been showing me. She was worried that I would left her. And thought that I would feel cheated and regret marrying her if she let her inner feelings leaked one day.
Can you be any sweeter?
"Did you fake the smile you've been giving me?" I asked her.
"No," she shook her head.
"But you were feeling lonely that you have to keep it hidden?" I asked her again. She hugged me and nodded.
"Luna," I called her softly, bringing her face in front of me again.
I look at this crying face. She has the very same hole that I have all this time, that's why she can handle me. I'm thinking how twisted I am right now, looking deep into her eyes. How could I find my lover attractive when she cried? I recall all the times I made her sad, many times I pushed her away. But she stood steadfast, her will never waver. Her eyes were always soft, with hint of fire within. The lips, these lips which never stopped saying how she loves me...
I unconsciously kissed her.
"Be with me like the moon," I said, "Stay with me...always. Shine brighter than the stars even with all the flaws you have."
"But my moon will not hide her dark side forever like how it does with our Earth," I smiled to her, reading her mind, "Have a waltz with me at the space station, twirl your body as you wish so I can see the all of you, front to the back. I'll keep you safe."
She look at me in daze, lips wet from our previous kiss, her bare skin shone under the moonlight caress. I decided that I love this room as well.
"...You're way too in love with me, you know that?" she said, hugging me again, "I will not let you go now. Be prepared."
I hugged her as tight, laughing at her sweet threat, "I won't have it any other way, Honey. My Luna."
Author Notes:
Sorry for this shameless fic ; ; If you previously read Melting the Cold Ice, you will notice that Saeyoung called MC as Luna once in awhile. I wrote this to satisfy my own ego to write a fanfic with my OC. Please forgive me!
I want to portray MC as a broken home girl. You see, these kind of people, who saw the reality of love and marriage with their own eyes are the HARDEST people to conquer. They have endless defense and complicated feeling about others with fully functioned family. But they won't disappoint you in a relationship once you earn their trust. Also I personally not liking a all-positive person who knows 0 about life and pushing other to 'cheer up' and 'be patient'. Because it's unreal. Everyone have skeleton in their closet, and I want Luna to has one too. I can go on and on about life but I'll end here lol.
As for Saeyoung character, I think he became more and more calm in front of Luna, rather than his quirky self. He's still playful alright, but I write him to be show more of his mature side after all the incident.
Please kindly leave a feedback ^^
p.s: I'm playing Christmas DLC!
