[[A/N]] Why is it that every time I watch episode 35, an idea always comes to me...?
Disclaimer: In case you were wondering, if I owned Death Note, there would be no need for fans to write something like this because Matt and Mello wouldn't have died... Although there would probably be something like this in the manga/anime so fangirls like us could squee all we want and it would be canon!
Mello's hair was getting longer; there was no doubt about it. He'd stopped caring as much about his appearance now that we were so close to the end.
I look up from the computer screen just in time to see him throw his cell phone at the wall. He sits down on the chair opposite me and his head held in his hands.
We were close; so very close.
"We're gonna help Near," he sighs.
I continue tapping away at the keyboard, waiting for him to elaborate.
"He knows that the Second L is Kira and he's had someone following the person he thinks is acting on Kira's orders. All that's left is to get Takada out of the equation and he'll be set to go. He'll get him."
I look up. He was staring at me in a way I hadn't seen for months.
"He's won," he finishes simply.
I glance down. I always knew that being with Mello wasn't my best chance at survival. Even if we weren't chasing Kira he was just too damn dangerous to be any good for my mortality.
The hotel room we were living out of was dark, the only light coming from various screens scattered around.
I pull my goggles off my eyes and rub at them, wearily. One or two all-nighters aren't going to kill me but either way I know, deep down I'm never going to see this case through to the end.
"Matt," he starts.
"So all we have to do is keep Takada away from Kira and Near wins, right?" I say, cutting off whatever it was he was going to say.
"Yeah, but..."
"So, what are we waiting for?" I lock eyes with him for a few seconds and see all the pain, the hate, the confusion he's trying to get through to me. "If Kira wins, we all lose. If Near wins, at least we still have a chance," I tell him. I'm appealing to his worse nature. He's like a child, really. He hates to lose. At least this way he still thinks he has a chance of winning.
And so we plan. We plan until the early hours of the morning. The computers are turned off and we sit by the light of a single lamp.
"And then we'll meet up with Near at his headquarters," I confirm.
He nods and picks up a bar of unfinished chocolate. As he raises it to his lips, I hear him inhale sharply before putting it down. He looks at the floor for a few seconds before looking up at me.
"Matt," he says. "Whatever happens, you have to try to survive."
I let out a small laugh, as if any world without him in is worth living in anyway.
"Mihael," I say. "Worry about yourself; the worst they can do is arrest me. You're going after someone who may have Kira's power. You're the one who could die."
"Mail." He walks over to where I'm sat and runs a gloved hand down my jaw. "I care more about you than my own life."
That night, before we sleep, we make love. It's slow in a way Mello has never been before; yet it's as passionate as the first time and every time after. It's Mello showing me how he wants us to be when this is all over; it's me trying to give a lifetime's worth of love in just a few short hours.
In the morning, when I wake up, we are lying in each other's arms. His head is buried in the crook of my neck and he is shaking with the sobs he's trying not to let me see and I realise that he knows as much as I do that when we part, we will never see each other alive again. I squeeze my eyes shut and pray that the tears don't fall. I want him to know that every moment I spent with him is a moment I hold deep in my heart. They are the moments I will relive today.
I pull him closer so as much of my body is pressed against him as is humanly possible. I've never really believed in God, but today I pray. My world depends on his survival.
"Matt," he whispers. "I haven't said this as much as I should. I love you. I love you so much that the thought of losing you tears me apart inside. It hurts more than anything I've ever felt before."
"I know," I whisper back. "I know how it feels Mels because I've thought I'd lost you before and this, what I'm feeling now, it hurts more."
I feel him take a ragged breath against my shoulder. "Matt," he says. "No. Mail Jeevas, I love you. I will never stop loving you."
"I love you too," I reply, burying my face in his too-long hair. "I love you more than life itself, Mihael Keehl."
We stay there for hours after we wake, proclaiming our love and praying silently that the other survives. As the sun dips downward in the sky and the room darkens slightly, Mello kisses me gently.
"Let's go," he says, his voice filled with false courage, and I kiss him a final time.
[[A/N]] And we all know what happens next, but in case you want to see my interpretation of that, I'm sure you'll find a story on my profile =] (off the top of my head I can think of Love and Holy Rosary from Matt and Mello's POVs respectively).
