Dunking: noun; the action of plunging or being plunged into water or other liquid.

Dudley's definition (he's too stupid to know what a dictionary is): violently submerging Harry's head in the toilet until he goes unconscious.

Dudley and I were about nine. I can't exactly remember the reason he decided to plunge my head into the toilet; by that time in our lives, he didn't really need a reason.

Wait, I remember. It was the day they took away the cable for the television.

Anyway, Dudley had grabbed me around the waist and was dragging me to the bathroom.

At age nine I had long figured out that Dudley could never catch me if I knew what was coming and ran away. But one of the biggest regrets of my life is taking a bath on that particular day. I did not have hygiene as bad as Dudley's (he didn't have to take a bath if he didn't want to), but I was still a nine-year old kid.

So, during my bath I did not notice the cable men come and take away the cable. I also regret missing the sight of Dudley trying to chase down the truck.

As Dudley dragged me back to the bathroom, I believe his thoughts went a little like this:

Mad. MADDD. MUST HURT HARRY.

Grunt.

The actual act of dunking was a bit of a blur. I never noticed what Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were doing; they were either too distracted while they were calling the cable company, or just thought Dudley should let his anger out on something that's not very valuable.

After a few minutes of dunking, I went unconscious.

I imagine Dudley was pretty disappointed. I could just see him kicking my lifeless body with a stupid, bemused look on his face, like his game had ended earlier than he had wanted. Dudley was probably hoping for a good hour of loud and painful reactions.

When I came to, I felt painful slapping on my face and mutterings of "get up, kid, you're no help just lying there". Uncle Vernon was gently caring for me in my delicate state.

Meanwhile, Aunt Petunia was in the upstairs bathroom with Dudley. While I was out cold, I think Uncle Vernon grabbed Dudley while he was still confused as Aunt Petunia yelled about Dudley's condition. As far as I could tell, Aunt Petunia thought that Dudley could get cancer from coming into contact with the unsanitary toilet water.

I went to get changed into drier clothes. After this huge life-threatening ordeal, as I walked out of my cupboard, Uncle Vernon was standing there demanding that I climb the ladder to the cable box and check the status of the cable.

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