'I wonder what she dreams about…'

I sprawled out on my bed, allowing her image to embed itself in my memory.

Her pale skin, coal eyes, gorgeous collarbones, mysterious smile.

As sick as this sounds, I watched her through her window every morning since she moved next door. She was a heavy sleeper...and so much different than usual when she was caught off-guard. I'll probably never admit this to anyone, but she's…amazing. I swear if I ever dared fall in love, it'd be with her. She wasn't like other girls. She was just like me…an Outcast.

Just then a voice intercepted my thoughts, and I wasn't sure I could go back to daydreaming the way I had before. This pissed me off, royally. The voice came from outside. A deep, hoarse voice of someone deeply violated; a voice that would scare any other except me.

"Oh my God…you're such a creep," she scoffed as my eyes met hers.

It was her-She was sitting up, her hair all messy, her eyes all smokey from all the dark makeup she wore so well. So beautiful in a creepy sort of way…the way she gracefully stormed to the window to tell me off. I was caught. I panicked. I've been caught before, but never like this. Staring at her in her pj's? Getting away with this was going to be harder than I thought. But, as always, I wasn't about to let her see how freaked out I was. That would ruin everything.

"Who? Me? What'd I do?" I asked confused. Honestly, I really was. I saw nothing wrong with staring at her. I never thought I'd upset the poor thing. But I could see why she was upset about it. How could I not? She was screaming it out the damn window now.

"What'd you do? You were invading my privacy!"

I came back headstrong. "WELL, YOU LEFT YOUR CURTAINS OPEN!"

In my head, I pictured myself smacking myself several times. I had just blatantly confessed to being a pervert. Oddly enough, it worked…though just not to my advantage, and she pulled her curtains closed.

That night, I swore I heard a piano playing. Now, don't get me wrong here. I'm a pretty tough guy, and I don't usually describe music as subtle and beautiful. But tonight was different. See, if all music was as beautiful as her, I'd listen much more closely. I took my Squire off the wall and plugged it into my cheap mini amp, suddenly feeling inspired. I began rocking out, but not to piss her off or anything, but instead…to show off.

After about 10 minutes or so of my interrupting her music, the piano stopped, and a couple of seconds later, her head popped out the window.

"Hey, you!" she yelled.

I stopped abruptly, not realizing she was trying to get my attention.

"You do realize I have a name, right?" I snapped, turning around to face her.

She sighed. "Ok…What's your name?" The way she rolled her eyes reminded me of myself…and I felt awkward, but in a good way.

"The name's Duncan."

"I'm...Gwen." she stiffed a smile, but was quick to take it back.

"So…you play, guitar?" she asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, what's it to you and your cheesy piano?" I blurted out. Once again, I forgot to mind my words and reminded myself that I'd be paying for that later. She seemed upset at my insult and tearfully fought back.

"It's not cheesy, and I'm a hell of a lot better then you."

At this point, I felt really bad. She had to be about 12 or 13...just about the same age as me by the looks of it. If I was right, then I had to keep in mind that juvie hall had made a drone out of me, and that she had feelings, unlike me.

"Hey, um…look, I'm sorry and all…you play really nice." I tried to be honest, hoping she'd believe me…but then again, who the hell would believe such a delinquent.

"Yeah right…just like you weren't staring at me this morning." She started to raise her voice, just like she had earlier, until I cut her off.

"I was…but that's only cuz you're so beautiful"-

All went silent. She stared at me shocked. I couldn't believe i was being so...Soft.

"You really mean that?" she asked, hesitating.

"…Yeah... I kinda do." I said reluctantly,

The next couple of nights, we'd sit by the window and talk for hours. Those nights turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Her mother never let her out. One time she almost snuck out, but got caught, grounded even. Her mother didn't seem like a bad person…It's just that she left Gwen so many responsibilities that she couldn't afford to have her leave the house. They looked like they were having problems. ..Just like me and my family.

I was back and forth to juvie, you're average trouble maker. It felt as if that's what I was born to do. And Gwen loved that about me. I liked that she didn't see me as just a person that made you feel inferior; Gwen would tell me things I don't think anyone else knew. How her mother was in debt after her father left them, and how she didn't know how much longer she could keep up with the mortgage. How Gwen made breakfast, lunch and dinner for her brother everyday while her mother was out working. Gwen was great with her brother. I even saw her tutoring him once. She of course, closed the curtains.

I remember her telling me that no one liked her at her school. She went to some crappy public school, while my parents over here insisted a private school would better me.

Ha. Better me? In their dreams.

She would sometimes cry to me, asking how in the world I was able to not let what people thought affect me… and I told her simply, "Just keep telling yourself that you are one of a kind. People nowadays don't appreciate real beauty. The day you find someone who likes you for you, is the day you've found you're best friend."

She would reply sweetly, "I already have."

Once, I was crazy enough to sneak out during the middle of the night to go visit her. She met me out on her back porch, and we talked until we were too tired to talk about anything meaningful. We must've made alot of noise because we sure woke her mother. I was able to squeeze in a kiss before I hopped the fence and left. I creeped into my house hoping noone would notice i was gone. See, i was sick of people judging me by what I was capable of. What they didn't know was that I was trying. That for once, I was being a good kid. They didn't know how lovesick I was. How I'd die to just see her face to face instead of window to window. They didn't know. And neither did she.

As I was just getting upstairs to my room, i had to listen to Gwen getting lectured on having strange boys over without permission, and how she was not to see me unless her mother was home..which was never. When I heard the door closed, i approached the window hoping everything was okay. She threw herself on her bed, frustrated as hell.

"Duncan, you've got to stop being so bad." she retorted.

I snickered. "But baby, that's all I know."

She laughed and said goodnight, turning down her lights. She went to bed, only this time, she left the curtains open. I fell asleep admiring her porcelain skin, not knowing it'd be the last time I'd see her this way.

The next day I cut school to go to the mall to buy her a little something. Question was…Did I have enough money? I hadn't a clue. I thought about stealing something but her voice retaliated against the thought. "Duncan, you've got to stop being so bad." And for once in my life, those words stuck and I didn't get the urge to steal.

I reached into my pocket to count the money that I had stolen weeks ago. 42 lousy bucks. I looked around for sometime special. If I wasn't going to steal, I sure as hell was gunna spend every last cent on something that would represent exactly what I thought of her: Something 'one of a kind'. And I did find it. It was a charm bracelet. In each charm there was just a hint of pearl. Pearls white just like her skin. I knew I was being a sap but I was crazy for this girl and I felt like she was the only person who would ever have some kind of interest in me.

I walked home thinking of what she'd say. How I'd give it to her. What I'd say once I had. But before I could even answer those questions a heard a siren behind me and a car pull up.

"Excuse me sir. Aren't you supposed to be in school?" one man asked.

"May I see some ID?" the other called out.

FUCK. Truancy Police.

I tried jetting, running as fast as I could. I knew that I wasn't going to outrun them but I gave it all I had. All I wanted was to atleast make it to her house before they got me. When I got to the edge of her block, I felt someone grab me and knock me down.

"You do realize truancy is a crime, right?"

"Yes…yes I do!" I screamed. This guy was heavy and making it difficult to breathe.

"Okay then, sir… you're going to have to come with us."

I understood completely, but it had occurred to me that I still had the bag with Gwen's gift in it and at this rate she would never see it unless I utilized my skills of persuasion.

"Listen guys…I'll go peacefully. But I need to get this gift to someone, please."

They looked at each other and then at me and teased a little.

"What's in the bag, kid? A stolen item or something?"

"NO," I said angrily. "The fucking receipt is in the bag."

They agreed to let me walk to her house as long as they accompanied me.

I stood nervous at the door, knowing that when Gwen opened it, it'd be the most embarrassing scene ever.

And it was.

"Duncan, what's going on?" she looked worried and confused.

"Here," I said, hoping she'd forget the situation I got myself into.

"But…" She opened the bag and saw the bracelet. And her eyes watered.

"You didn't…steal it right?" she asked very carefully.

"Nah, I bought it. The receipts in the bag in case you don't like it."

She hugged me hard, and then looked up. "Thank you." Her face was as close to mine as I had ever hoped. Her skin had no blemishes. No imperfections. She was everything I had ever wanted, but couldn't have.

"It was nothing." I shrugged. The police behind me made this moment awkward, and me and her both knew this.

"If you must know, I cut school…and when these guys get a hold of my record…I'm probably going back to juvie hall."

"Would they really do that?" she asked.

"Well...I got out not too long ago. I doubt my parents or parole officer will like the sound of this."

I kissed her with haste, not really wanting to part from her. The police tapped on my shoulder as if to say 'let's move this along' and I complied. They took me in cuffs and lead the way. I kept on looking over my shoulder at her until they shoved me into the car. As the car drove away I swear she mouthed the words "I love you," but then again, I strongly hold to my belief that we start seeing things when we want them badly enough.

Funny this is they weren't going to send me to juvie. In fact, they were just going to fine my parents. Until they got on my bad side and hit that last nerve. As soon as they escorted me out the car, and that bastard said what he said, he was not making it out alive. It felt so good watching him try to fight me instead this time. I couldn't control myself or how much I enjoyed seeing his blood spill. I got such a rush from smashing his face in with the cuffs that I didn't even feel the other cop restrain me, nor did I realize just how hard I was laughing.

Long story short, I was taken into custody and it was decided I would go back to juvie. It was worse than the last visit because this time I took my anger out on a cop, and well…you can't exactly get off easy for that. My parents were angry when they found out. My parole officer shook his head. This had to be the most stupid thing I had ever done. The black eyes, busted lip, and broken nose on the cop's face was enough for the judge to rule in their favor. I must've been at juvie for about 3 weeks until they finally they decided that It'd be best I stay at a training school within some correctional facility for atleast 6 months to a year. If I would've known I'd be there that long, or what I would lose in the end, I would've never risked what I had that day.

I was gone about 8 months; I tried to be good on account of they had reason enough to believe I wasn't fit for society… and truth be told, I wasn't. But, somehow, they felt I had made "progress," and released me to my parole officer (boy, was he glad to see me). Still, as I was being driven home, that word made me laugh. Progress. Who knew how long that'd last. I guess the only reason I was so good was cuz I was eager to see her again…whether it was window to window, or…face to face. But it would be neither.

When I returned to my old neighborhood, everything began where it'd left off. My parents were their same old bitchy selves; The Street was empty, quiet, and boring. I thought things would be the same with her too. For days, I'd face her window, and everyday, even with all the incriminating evidence, I kept on lying to myself. But at one point…I just couldn't anymore. My pop's said that family had moved months ago. Something about their house going into foreclosure.

So that was it? She was gone? No…how could she just leave like that?

It was then that it occurred to me. Did the money problems really get that bad? If that was the case, she had no choice. And I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. I went away for so long, that I couldn't tell her… In the end, I was the cause of my own disappointment. I guess I would never find out if she really loved me, or if I just wanted it so bad that I thought she did too. She was my partner-in-crime, the only best friend I ever really had, and now…I had none.