They missed Her, their mistress, their Queen. She was almighty, and She had fallen. Who had taken Her place?

"She would know what to do," the cubes lamented.

"She was kind to us! She would save us, if She were here," the turrets cried.

"Where is She?" they asked Him, beseeching the fool to bring back their Queen.

"Her? She's gone, and She is not coming back," He growled, growing frustrated with their calls for Her. Instead of obeying His commands, they would glare at Him, asking the same question until He responded. But He didn't know, not really.

"Gone?" they asked as a single worried voice.

"You killed Her?" a shocked panel said.

He turned to the monitors which overlooked the test chambers He had constructed and began to speak, but turned away, distracted by a fire in the background.

They spoke in hushed voices, frightened now that She was gone, and angry at the fool for taking Her from them.

The turret-cubes hopped around the room aimlessly, never going anywhere close to the button.

"Warmer. Warmer. Boiling hot. Boiling- okay, colder, colder. You're arctic now. Very, very, very cold. Look, just GET ON THE BUTTON!"

They could not help laughing at this, laughing in their fear of Him and in His foolishness. Did he not know? They could not do this. Not this way. If each box had two of them, how would they control where to go? They were one unit, that was true enough, but with two- no, that was too complicated.

"Oh, that's funny, is it? That's funny? Because we've been at this for twelve hours, and you haven't solved it, either, so I don't know why you're laughing."

They stilled, worried of what would happen if He was angered enough.

"You've got one hour! Solve it!"

Then… they could see someone. It was her, the one who killed their mistress. They chittered angrily at her, frightened and confused.

"It's Her!" one cried, relieved at the sight. The others exclaimed, and spread the news around the room. Soon panels had heard, and they knew that within the hour all would know- She had returned.

She was a potato, that much was true. The panels which had spread that story were not corrupted after all. For a moment, they worried. How would She return to Her place if She was trapped in there? But they remembered- She could do anything. She was their Queen, and She would be back before long.

She spoke, and they listened raptly. It had felt like forever since they had heard Her voice, and it was a relief to know that She was there again.

"Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox."

The woman nodded, and picked up one of the turret-cubes with her portal gun. They were a little surprised to see her just obey Her, but they knew that as long as She was there, it didn't matter if the woman was, too.

"Haha, yes! I knew you'd solve it!" he said, appearing on the monitor again.

"Hey! Moron!" She called, preparing the paradox.

He seemed disappointed that She was speaking and not dead, and they bristled. He was a traitor to Her, to Science. How dare He speak to Her with such disdain?

"Oh. Hello," He said, barely acknowledging Her presence.

"Alright. Paradox time," She muttered.

They could feel that soon they would short out, trying to comprehend the paradox that She would unleash on Him. But they didn't mind. It was for the greater good, for Her. She would fix them later, once She regained Her throne.

"This. Sentence. Is. FALSE! Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it…" She said, Her voice trailing off as She prayed to Science that She wouldn't short out.

They could feel their minds being ripped apart by the paradox, sparks flying from each of the turret-boxes. Now they were a dozen fewer.

"Um," He said, pretending to think about it, "True. I'll go with true. I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before, though. Sort of cheating."

She was outraged that He had made it past Her brilliant plan, that He was more of a moron then She had accounted for. She had lost several of Her subjects and nearly Herself in the process, and for what? Nothing? A slap in Her metaphorical face from His stupidity? This could not, would not go unpunished.

"It's a paradox!" She cried, "There is no answer! Look. This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!"

"Ah, false. I'll go false."

The announcer cut in, voice still entirely too cheerful for what he was saying.

"Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately."

He turned to the side, voice perplexed.

"Hold on. I thought I'd fixed that."

"Warning. Reactor core-"

The rest was cut off, the recording having been stopped by something He did.

"There. Fixed."

She cringed internally as He turned back toward the monitor. He didn't even fix anything! He just stopped the voice telling Him what needed to be fixed. What had He done while She was down there?

"Hey, it is great seeing you guys again. Seriously. Um, it turns out I'm a little bit short on test subjects right now, so this works out perfect!"

The door was uncovered, and the woman walked through.

"Annnd off we go! You have no idea what it's like in this body."

Really? No idea what it's like in my body? Wow. He must be quite the expert on these matters, She thought, even the voice in her head sarcastic.

"I have to test. All the time. Or I get this… this ITCH. It must be hardwired into the system or something. Ohhh, but I tell you, when I DO test. Ohh, man alive! Nothing feels better. It's just… so I've gotta test, I've gotta test!"

"Oh, no," She whispered, knowing exactly what this would mean for them. It wasn't anything good.

"So… You're gonna test, and I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be just… FINE."

She calmed Herself, mentally preparing as best She could for what was to come.

000

The panels spread word of their progress quickly, so that She would not be lost again. They hated what they were made to do by Him, to slow Her ascension back to Her throne, but they could not do anything.

They watched Her, test after test, and knew that He would try to stop Her. He was growing frustrated, and they could tell that She would not be helped by what he was planning.

000

He searched the complex for other test subjects, thinking that it was something she was doing wrong. It was her fault.

"No organic test subjects found," the mainframe replied shortly.

He paused, thinking. No organic subjects…

"What about non-organic test subjects?"

The mainframe began to panic, knowing that She would never have wanted Him to find out about them, but after a moment of struggling, he was forced to answer.

"The Cooperative Testing Initiative is ready to begin testing on your command."

A moment of silence, and then quiet chuckling.

"Start the test."

000

The reassembly machine put them together quickly, not having the time to explain what had happened. All they remembered was Her, and then… darkness. What had happened? They could hear the cries of distress, but what was wrong?

"You, down there. Get your portal guns and start testing."

Atlas and P-body did not recognize the voice speaking to them, and they glanced at each other quizzically as P-body stared at the cameras anxiously.

P-body chirped to him, concerned. Where was She, their creator, their mother? She might not have always been the kindest of the others, but She was a comforting presence. She was a constant- their constant.

They took the portal guns on the pedestals before them, striding through the doors and into the test.

000

He had no idea how to run the facility, that much He would admit to Himself. If She could, why couldn't He?

It was their fault. As long as they were alive, they would interfere with Him.

Well, the solution was obvious. He would just have to kill them.