Disclaimer: I have and make no claim on any iCarly copyright. Non-iCarly characters and settings are my own.

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Carly smiled and walked to the apartment door, having heard the knock. She had deliberately locked that, to force him into requesting entrance, making this visit more formal than friendly. She opened the door and welcomed him in.

"Thank you for coming, Freddie. I have a few things I want to talk to you about. Please come sit down. We need to talk.

No, Sam isn't here. She's coming over later. I asked you over now so we could talk without her here. We need to clear things up without her complicating the situation. This is about us.

This needs to stop, Freddie. You need to stop. I've put up with this for a good long time now, and so has Sam, but it has to stop. There comes a point where it's no longer acceptable, we've reached that point. I won't have it anymore. Sam's been there for a while now. You have to get over this.

Of course it's flattering to be wanted by someone, but that can shift to worry about being stalked. I don't want to go there, but you know Sam has. You are ringing alarm bells right and left, to her. I'm hearing them now. This needs to end.

I will never love you. I know, I kissed you and tried to be your girlfriend after you saved me, but that really was just gratitude for your actions. I hoped that would settle things, let you move on, but it hasn't. You've gone back to trying, it has to end.

No, Freddie, I will never love you. It isn't even in the realm of possibilities. Yes, I can say that with absolute certainty, because I'm not alone. I'm with someone. Yes, someone you know. You've seen it with your own eyes, you just refuse to accept it.

You have, you see us together every day. You just refuse to really see it. Sam. It's Sam. Sam and me. You see us holding hands, sharing thoughts, giggling and laughing. It just doesn't sink in.

Sam pummels you whenever you make some move on me. She's had it with you, and I don't blame her. You keep hitting on what's hers, you don't take no for an answer. She is way past angry with you, and so am I. You have no respect for us.

It's not like we hide it around you, you see us cuddle and touch. We don't make out in front of you, we don't exist to perform for you, but we are clearly a couple. You refuse to acknowledge it.

Sam's had it, and so have I. How many times have we said goodnight to you and gone upstairs together? We take each other's hand and and walk upstairs, to my bedroom, to my bed. You are too smart to be so dumb.

We've had it with you. This ends now. You will accept us, or get out of our lives. I like you Freddie. I want you in our lives, but not if you don't respect us. You have to see us for the couple we are.

Sam is totally pissed at you, you have to win her back. You have to be supportive of us, or she will never forgive you. I may not either.

Oh, look at the time. You have to go now, Sam's due soon. No, I don't want this done tonight, Spencer's away tonight. I have a romantic evening planned with my girlfriend. I don't want you messing that up by upsetting her. You need to go now, I want things nice for her.

Thank you for stopping by, Freddie. You are an important part of our lives, but you aren't our lives. You have to accept that. I want you to be happy for us.

No, not tonight. This is Sam and my night. I want her focused on me. We can start tomorrow, getting Sam to trust your intentions toward me, and not beat you into the hospital.

Yes, goodnight, Freddie. We're clear on this, aren't we? You agree this is it, right? Ok, now get out so I can be in the mood for my wild alleycat of a girlfriend. If you hear purring tonight, don't investigate. It'll be me, I won't want to be interrupted. Maybe I'll fill you in tomorrow. I think a few details will help make you happy with us. And keep your right hand busy. 'Night, Freddie.