This is pure D/V fluff and it serves no other purpose than maybe to irritate the heck out of poor Cameron. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination.
What Happens In Vegas...
"Jackson! Care to explain this?"
"Sure." Daniel said, not even bothering to look up from his work as Mitchell tore into his office. "But first you'll have to tell me what "this" is."
"This, Jackson." The man waved a photograph at the archaeologist. "Please tell me it's not what it looks like."
Daniel glanced at the picture and his eyes widened in shock. "Wh-Where did you find that?"
"So it is what it looks like?" Mitchell was seething now.
"Um, not exactly."
"Not exactly, how? Because it sure looks like you and Vala at a Vegas wedding chapel. With rings on your fingers!"
"Well, yes, but...um...well, you see..."
"Hello, darlings." Vala said airily as she swept into the room. "Cameron, what have you done to my Daniel? He's stuttering and has that adorable bear in the headlights look again."
"Deer in the headlights." Daniel corrected automatically, only earning a careless shrug from Vala.
"He's trying to explain this." Cam handed her the photo and she squealed in delight.
"Oh, Cameron, wherever did you find this? Look how cute you are, Daniel."
Both men glared at her but she only shrugged as she went to sit on the sofa across the room.
"So, it is true? You two did get married?"
"Well, yes, darling, but it wasn't a big deal." Vala said, still studying the photo. When all she received in return for her statement was silence, she glanced up to find twin looks of shock on their faces. They really did look an awful lot alike at times, she mused absently. "What? I wished to experience a Tau'ri Vegas wedding and Daniel was very accommodating."
"So, it wasn't...you didn't..." Cam let his sentence trail off, not really wanting an answer but knowing he needed it, if only for the sake of the team...and perhaps his sanity. Why had he thought taking over as leader of SG-1 would be a good idea?
"It wasn't what, darling?"
"It wasn't real?"
"Of course it was real. We had a ceremony and everything. It was quite beautiful, not at all like those goofy ones I so often see on your Tau'ri televisions shows. Isn't that right, Daniel?"
"Uh...um..." the poor man stuttered.
"So, you two are married?" Cam asked in irritation.
"No, Cameron, we are not." Vala sighed, looking down into her lap. "It's a pity, too."
"What do you mean, you're not married?"
"Oh, Daniel got it taken care of."
"You got it annulled?" Cam turned to Daniel hopefully. Maybe his team wasn't about to fall apart, after all.
"Well, um, you see...um, not exactly."
"What!" Vala and Cam shouted in unison, eyes wide.
Vala jumped out of her seat and promptly plopped back down, not at all sure what to make of this turn of events. Cam wasn't quite as affected, however.
"What do you mean, not exactly?"
"Well, you see...um, we kind of...we sort of..." Daniel took in a deep breath before continuing. "We can't get it annulled."
"Why not? There's only one reason I know of...oh, crap. Don't tell me." Mitchell held up a hand and groaned at Jackson's guilty (or was that a sheepishly satisfied?) expression.
"Wait." Vala finally piped up, looking utterly confused. "I'm lost. What's the one reason?
"Do you remember what we did after the ceremony? In the hotel room?" Daniel blushed.
"Of course I do, darling." she purred before realisation struck. "Oh! You mean we can't get this marriage annulled because we had sex? How very disturbing."
"Way too much information, Princess." Cam groaned, hanging his head in defeat. "So, you're still married?"
"Technically." Daniel replied.
"You guys went to Vegas, what, three months ago? Why haven't you gotten a divorce yet?"
"Umm..." Daniel began but was interrupted.
"I'd like to know that, too." Vala finally stood and marched up to Daniel angrily. "We've been married this whole time and you didn't feel the need to tell me?"
"Oh, jeez." Cam sighed and held up both hands to forestall the argument he knew was coming. "Just-Just get it taken care of...however you want." He high-tailed it out of the office but not fast enough, overhearing a few comments he knew he'd regret.
"So, are you going to file for divorce, Dr. Jackson?" he heard Vala ask in a deceptively saccharine voice.
"Actually," came Jackson's reply, all signs of discomfort gone. "I was thinking that we could forget the divorce altogether and you should move in with me, Mrs. Jackson."
As Cam stalked down the hall, the last thing he heard was a high-pitched squeal and what sounded like a chair hitting the floor. Shaking his head, he only had one thought; what happens in Vegas, should always stay in Vegas.
The End
