Madman
Chapter One
He was looking at the ceiling like an awed child who had never seen it before, witnessed its enchanted beauty of galaxies and moonlight and exploding stars; like a human privy to treasure upon treasure of visual wealth, he stared. It was his personal privilege and he looked blindly upon it, enthralled.
The moon was waxing and that meant just one thing. Sirius was infinitely glad for it - the sooner it came, the sooner he could forget everything and become the free, animal side of himself like he and his friends had been able to do, for the first time, that past summer.
"What on earth are you staring at?" Remus commented as he followed the boy's gaze. "Or perhaps that isn't the best word choice…"
"The Dog Star," Sirius replied somewhat mysteriously, and he was not referring to his namesake. James and Peter, his other friends who sat across from them at the table, looked at each other knowingly.
"Bored, Padfoot?" James cockily suggested, raising an eyebrow with the usage of the new nickname. Sirius harrumphed and finished his dinner quickly.
They all teased him about his desire for the full moon. James even called him sadistic because they all knew such an occasion was painful for a werewolf like Remus, but there was something incredibly alluring about being able to turn into an animal at will and use it to his friend's benefit, layered on top of the pride of accomplishing something at fifteen that most fully-grown people never did.
An Animagus. Only a rare few could claim that talent. And they - Sirius, James, and Peter - had all done it illegally to boot, without the intensive supervision the Ministry usually provided.
After dinner Sirius left his friends there as he had every day that week, choosing instead to walk to the dormitory alone. Perhaps this would become his new routine this school year. He lowered his head and counted:
"One, two, three…"
There were exactly six flights of stairs between where he was and where he needed to be, and each flight had eighteen steps.
"Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…"
He wondered privately why they hadn't asked a thing when he simply got up and left the Hall. In fact, none of them had protested at any dinner in these first seven days at Hogwarts. Perhaps they didn't remember the old routine where they sat around for ages, just talking or playing a game like chess, Gobstones, or Exploding Snap. Or perhaps now, in fifth year, it had been collectively decided that they were too grown-up for such idling. After all, they were taking their Ordinary Wizarding Level exams this year.
"Fifty-six, fifty-seven, fifty-eight…"
The downside to this was that there was not as much time for them to see each other.
The upside was that there was not as much time for them to see each other.
Wouldn't they like to see me now? Sirius thought sarcastically just as he reached "sixty-three." But they wouldn't. They hadn't, apparently, liked to see him for quite some time now, though he couldn't put his finger on why he thought so.
"Sirius, wait up!"
Or perhaps they did; Sirius turned, not moving from his sixty-third step towards the dorm, and cracked a grin as Remus came bounding up after him. He was just paranoid, obviously.
"Why didn't you stop when I called you?" Remus asked breathlessly, pushing his brown hair from his eyes. He was a good-looking boy except for two jagged scars that cut down the side of his face. They collided at the corner of his mouth, so that one side was caught in a permanent frown.
"I did," Sirius said in slight puzzlement. He tried not to stare because those scars had always fascinated him, despite Remus's sensitivity about them.
Remus shook his head. "No, you didn't," he replied. "I said your name about five times."
"Oh." Sirius shrugged and turned away. "I guess I didn't hear you."
They began to ascend the stairs together, Remus talking and Sirius lowering his head again. He tried to concentrate on Remus's drivel as he counted silently: sixty-four, sixty-five, sixty-six…
"I can't believe James and Peter didn't want to come up, too…said they had things to do before going to the dorm. I suspect that means he's going to proposition Evans again."
Sirius looked up, irked, and for a moment forgot to count. Luckily he realized his mistake just as he took another step. Safe. "He's what?"
"Going to - er - proposition Evans," Remus answered haltingly. "Lily Evans? He's, erm, he's done it once already this year. Well, not so much propositioned her as, erm, asked her out -"
"Why didn't anyone tell me James fancies Lily?" Sirius demanded suddenly. A few students passing by turned their heads.
"Shh," Remus chided him, then lowered his voice. "He doesn't fancy her, per se; he just… fancies a date with her."
Sirius scowled. "Someone could've told me. I'm in the group too, you know?"
"Of course you are," the other boy said with mild surprise. "We just didn't think to tell you. It's a fairly new development."
Sirius's scowl deepened and Remus sighed, grabbing his arm.
"Come on, mate, let's just get upstairs, finish that bloody monster of an essay McGonagall gave us…"
Even as he was being half-dragged up the staircase, Sirius watched the steps fly by, making sure each one was accounted for.
--
As it turned out, James hadn't done a very good job propositioning Lily because she stalked into the common room about fifteen minutes later, dropped her books at a table adjacent to where Sirius and Remus were working, and immediately flew to her friends, who gathered around her.
Sirius could only hear bits and pieces of what they were saying but after a few minutes Lily's voice crept up in volume and she seemed more and more agitated.
"Of course I said no, Emma, are you ridiculous? He was so bloody smug about it - god, sometimes I just want to smack Potter's bloody face off!"
Sirius and Remus exchanged looks, knowing one of them would have to defuse the situation. The latter shrugged as if to excuse himself from bias, and Sirius, heaving a great sigh, got up and sauntered over to where the girls were gathered.
"Hey, Lily," he said in what he hoped was a casual tone. He stuck his hands in his pockets and tried not to look at her friends, who were staring openly at him.
"Hey, Sirius," she muttered. At least she had the decency to look ashamed of herself for the public denouncing. "Sorry - your bum of a best friend just gets on my nerves really badly right now."
"She's under a lot of stress," one girl added, looking at him like a hungry vulture. He fought down his puzzlement and surprise at this.
"Right," he said warily, before looking back at Lily. "He gets on everyone's nerves, sometimes, to be honest. Are you okay?"
Lily looked touched that he had asked, and his stomach did a backflip. "Yeah, I guess I am. I'm just - well, like Mary said, I'm under a bit of stress right now."
"Oh." Sirius, feeling the anxiety bubble up beneath his ribcage, quickly brushed his bangs from his eyes and murmured, "Well, alright, then. Don't sweat it."
He got out of there like a bat out of hell.
"What'd you say?" Remus wanted to know as he cast a curious glance at the girls. Sirius slumped back into his seat. "That calmed her down pretty quick."
"Is she looking over here?" Sirius asked quickly, and quietly. He kept his eyes on the table, like he was extremely interested in his essay.
"Yeah, she and everyone else," the other boy said with surprise. "What'd you say?"
Sirius shrugged and didn't lift his gaze from the paper. His fingers drummed noiseless on his knee. "Nothing much of value."
Author's Note:
I realize this isn't a very good time for me to start a new multi-chapter fic, but honestly I'm sick and tired of oneshots right now, and this got my (recently deceased) muse going again. It's going to be significantly shorter than WAFILS or ANBTT. And the plot's going to be somewhat different. And Sirius-centric. Tell me what you think of it. :3
