Alice Prewett had a lot on her mind as she strolled through Hogwarts' crowded halls toward Gryffindor tower. She had a Charms essay due the next morning, and she was certain McGonagall was planning to spring a pop quiz on the seventh years sometime in the next week and she had yet to master nonverbal Transfiguration. She was also trying to decide whether her new dress would be too formal for her date with Frank Longbottom on the coming Saturday's Hogsmeade visit. Because of her internal worrying and debating, she hardly noticed her dark haired friend walking rather quickly past her, and by the time she thought to say hello, he was already in the next corridor.
Said dark haired student was currently rushing through the corridors in search of the elusive red hair or bright green eyes belonging to the Head Girl. A flash of copper caught the corner of his eye and he immediately turned in that direction, only to find that it belonged to a curly haired Ravenclaw by the name of Charlie O'Malley.
His search finally came to an end at the astronomy tower, where Lily Evans was looking down at the student-filled grounds through one of the many windows. Classes had ended half an hour ago, so the tower was left deserted, save the two Head Students.
"Um, Lily...?"
"What do you want, Potter?" Lily asked without turning to face him.
Since the beginning of the year, the already rocky relationship between the two had been even rockier than usual. Until recently, Lily had finally been referring to James by his first name, but that had only lasted until she caught him pranking a few first years that morning.
"I wanted to apologize, if you'd let me."
There was a pause. Finally, "I'm listening."
"Well, umm… Wow, I never actually expected to get this far in my mind. Umm, well, I'm really sorry for picking on the first years. I know you've told me not to, but, y'know, it's just so hard to resist sometimes…" he trailed off with a smirk.
A look of disgust was apparent on Lily's face and she turned to look at him. "You're Head Boy of the entire fucking school and you find it 'hard to resist' picking on the younger students? Are you kidding me? You were put in this position to help the students, not bully them!"
"We were helping them! We were teaching them how dangerous it is to throw dung bombs at the Womping Willow. I think they would've really learned from the experience if you hadn't stopped them. See, that is just bad teaching right there," James joked.
"When will you grow up? You could've gotten them killed! When will you realize that there's more to life than just pranking and joking around?"
James scowled, "Oh, come off it, Evans. It's just a bit of fun. It's not like we'd have actually let anything happen to them. Where's your sense of humor?"
Lily's eyes narrowed. "Oh, I am so sorry that I don't find it funny to watch first years nearly be bludgeoned to death by a fucking psycho tree!" she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Do you really think that I'd let them get hurt?"James asked, raising his voice. "Is that what you really think of me?" James' eyes closed for a moment, and when he opened them his face was calm. "All I'm trying to do is have some fun before we're shoved out of the safe haven of Hogwarts and into the real world. There's not gonna be time for joking around once we're out of here, so forgive me for wanting to make the most of it while I can."
"That's because the 'real world' is in a fucking war!"
"Do you think I don't know that? My dad is Head of the Auror department. Do you know how many letters I get every month from my mom, wondering if dad's going to come back this time? How many times as I had to wonder if I was even going to see my dad over the holidays because of some mission? He's out there fighting Death Eaters every day! And I have the intention of doing the same the second I get out of this school. So if I want to have some fun while I can, who are you to tell me not to? You don't know me, Evans.
"I've tried to be more mature, I've even cut back on pranking, and it's all for YOU! I don't think you realize how hard I've tried to become someone that you could stand to like, respect, and maybe even love, but I can't do it anymore. I can't become someone I'm not just for some girl's approval. It's not fair to my friends, to my family, or to me. Maybe it's just starting to sink in: Lily Evans hates me, and more than likely always will. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm done trying. This is who I am, and I don't really care anymore whether you like it or not, because I can't take it anymore."
James stopped, clearing his face of the anger and hurt.
"I'm done," he said in a voice free of emotion and walked from the tower, leaving Lily alone with just her shocked expression and her guilty thoughts.
Pulling her gaze from the doorway James left through, Lily turned back to look out the window, reveling in the light breeze gently blowing through her copper hair as a single tear fell to the ground far below.
Author's Note – Just 935 words without this note. Yeah, short, I know. Also a lot more angsty and mature than I usually write, though I'm really not lovig the ending. Gimme a good suggestion and I'll fix it. Breaks my heart to write angsty James. *sigh* Oh well. So, feel free to send me a review to let me know what you think or possible yell at me for doing this instead of working on my many WIPs (lemme know which one you want an update for most!). I know, but this was kinda yelling at me from my mind for two days and I had to get it down, whereas the other story muses are either on vacation or in a coma. So yeah. Bye for now. (:
x
P.S. Just cuz I know you all care, there are 1,079 spaces in this whole thing including both this and the A/N. You know you care. ;) Bye.
xx
