I'm just not done with these two yet. That they aren't going to be in season two is unforgivable. Their story is far from over. So here's my take.
5 Years after the season finaleā¦
Tate's POV
I honestly can't say why I did it. I'd killed my stepfather because he was a bastard and I was already a monster. I'd killed those kids because I wanted to die. I'd killed the fags because at the time, I'd thought it was necessary, for Nora. Everyone else, they were just in the way somehow. But what I did to her Mom, to Violet's Mother? Not even Nora could persuade me enough to do it. So why did I? It's something I have to understand for myself before I can make Violet understand, if she ever will. It's something I've been digging at for the last five years, since she'd sent me away. But it's also something I'm afraid to unearth because if I'm honest with myself, there's a part of me that believes I may have done it because of her, in spite of her, in spite of myself. I sometimes let myself think that, that I was punishing myself because it makes a lot of sense. But then I remember the look on Violet's face when she'd found out- the pain, the betrayal, the hate- and I realise that even that is a cop out. I did it because I am a monster, because I could. This was my house, my home and these people were new and loud and represented everything I hated in society. A psychologist with more problems than his clients and a pro-planet wife who cared more about her dead child than the one that was still living. I'd hated them. I wanted to screw with them. I didn't love Violet yet, she was just another disturbance. How I could have ever overlooked her like that, I won't understand again, but I had. So I had done what I had done and I will regret it forever. But that isn't enough. Saying I'm sorry means nothing- there is nothing I can say or do to make it better, to fix it. Nothing.
"Tate?" my voice is called in a disgruntled whisper from somewhere above me. Violet's room. My stomach clutches up painfully, my eyes slide shut and in a moment I forget about the promises I'd made myself, made her- to stay away- and I'm opening them to find myself looking down at Violet- asleep under her covers. She'd been dreaming⦠it was only a dream- about me? It must be a nightmare.
"Tate" she speaks my name again so clearly this time I panic and almost get the hell out of there but then she breathes in deeply and sinks further into her pillow. Still asleep.
I take a few precautionary steps away from her until I'm at the end of the bed. I don't dare touch the bed for fear of waking her and instead cross the room, leaning back against the wall until I sink to the floor. Still a clear view of my sleeping Vi.
I hadn't heard her speak my name in almost four years. The first year was the hardest. I'd made it the hardest. I had been so sure that our love, my love could conquer it- that we could go back to normal. I'd given her time, space, but not enough. I'd begun to follow her, show up in her room, the kitchen, the lounge, anywhere she was. I'd try and talk to her, try forcing her to talk. She never said anything, anything except 'go away, Tate.' I got desperate. I started killing myself in front of her. I don't remember how many times I did it. I wanted to get a reaction, anything that would lead me to believe somewhere inside her she still cared- but I never got one. She didn't care. She didn't love me anymore. I never grasped it, but my actions began to make her unhappy, and not because I was dying, but because I was a nuisance. So I stopped, I went back to the basement- the one place she never went anymore- and I have stayed there, almost for the entirety of the last four years.
Hearing her say my name again, for a sweet second, the darkness recedes. It makes me feel like a little kid again. Like when you've done something bad and you've been punished and sent to your room but its only minutes before your mother comes in with warm toast and tea. I was never one for tea but the feeling is still the same I assume. It is an awfully warm feeling that makes me feel like I am someone else, that it was someone else who'd done those awful things and I am just me- Tate Langdon- son, brother, boyfriend. A few years ago I would have hated myself for thinking like this, for getting the feeling, but that's what I mean. This feeling makes me not care about any of that. It makes me wish I'd lived. It makes me wish I'd never hurt anyone. It makes me wish I had saved her, that she'd never met me. That she could be happy.
"Why?" she doesn't whisper this time, she sobs, somehow still asleep. I'd never known anyone to cry in their sleep but I can see, even from across the room, a tear sliding down her face illuminated by the moon coming through her window. I want to go to her, wake her up from whatever bad dream she's having but I can't. I'm too selfish. If I wake her now she will make me go away again and this is the first time I've seen her in too long. If I only have one night, just like this, for the rest of forever I think I can survive, I think I can do it, for her.
"Mom" she cries out and I find myself panicking once more, afraid Vivienne will come to her daughter's call but she doesn't. She has a new child now, a new relationship to explore with her husband. Of course, she still loves Violet, well I'd damn well hope she does, but it's different now. If she hadn't died, Violet would be an adult, she doesn't spend a lot of time with her family anymore, she doesn't spend a lot of time with anyone.
"Mommy, why would he" her words drift off into an inaudible mumbling and I feel like my heart is literally going to tear itself free of my body and drown me in my own juices. She has to be dreaming about me. She is dreaming about me and she is crying. Jesus Christ, Satan, Thaddeus and all things unholy. What have I done to this girl? I have to wake her up. I won't watch her suffer and I can't leave her to it either.
I stand on shaky legs and walk slowly, almost trance-like to the side of her bed. I don't want to frighten her but I have a feeling that I could dress up as a happy tree elf and she will still freak. Maybe even more so come to think of it.
"Vi?" I whisper, so softly I barely hear. I'm procrastinating- lingering in the moment, being so close.
I reach down to her and dare to rest my hand gently on her bare shoulder. Instant sparks are shot into my finger tips like life running straight for my veins. I've been an idiot to think I could survive without her. I love this girl and I will always love her and I don't care if she never loves me again I will wait forever.
"Vi, wake up" I say louder this time and I jump back in shock as her body spasms and she shoots upright in her bed.
To Be Continued...
AN: thanks to anyone who read this far. I am kind of obsessed with AHS at the moment and in particular Tate and Violet's relationship. I don't think the road would be easy but I do think that eventually they would find their way back to each other. I'm just going to try and let that play out. I hope you stick with me to see their story out or find another version (of the many brilliant ones on this site) that pans out the way you like.
WARNING FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS: I will not write sex scenes for this couple as it was never about that for them. I have read many other fics for this couple that integrates sex into their reunion and that works for them, but I don't believe it is necessary and prefer to view this coupling on an emotional level rather than a sexual one.
