Disclaimer: This story is extremely similar to the beautiful, hilariously written short children's story, Junie B. Jones. I don't own Junie. B Jones or Alice Gakuen in any way. I don't take credit for either of them—I just want you guys to enjoy this story!
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The Mushy Gushy Valentine
by Little Miss Giggle
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You're in my thoughts and in my heart
Wherever I may go;
On Valentine's Day I'd like to say
I care more than you know.
—Joanna Fuchs
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Obviously dedicated to the marvelous Cynthia!
(who gave me 50 reasons why I shouldn't delete this story, back in the day)
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Part I
My name is Mikan Sakura. I'm proud to say that I'm six years old. That's right—Six!—Six! Mummy said I'm already like a grown up. And I am. I'm just in this young body that's all, but maybe tomorrow, I'll have some boobies! Who knows, because I don't know. I am a very special six year old girl, because I say so! And grandpa says I'm a Princess, but my bestest friends, Hotaru and Permy don't believe me.
But that's because they're jealous.
I go to the Alice Academy.
It's the bestest school, and I'm in the bestest class! I'm in kindergarden. Kindergarden is where people like me go.
I'm in Class 2B. I don't know why it's named 2B. It just is, so I have to live with it. I would have preferred the class name, Pink Bunnies though. My teacher's name is Miss Serina. She's nice, but sometimes when we say something, she does this weird eye roll and goes super dooper quiet. It can be quite scary when she does that . . .
"Alright kids!" Miss Serina announced as she clapped her hands loudly. We know when she claps her hand, we have to be real quiet, or else she takes this thing called Aspirin. A pretty smile crossed her face as we all sat down in our chairs and put our fingers to our lips. And we all smiled back too, because sometimes, we get stickers if we're good!
Stickers for free! Isn't that the bestest news you've ever heard?
"Next week kids, we're going to celebrate a very special day! Anyone have an idea what that day is?"
I put my fingers to my chin and thought real hard.
Then, Tobita Yuu's hand shot up to the air like thunder! "I know, I know!" He squeaked. He sounded like my rubber duck when I squeeze it extra tightly. "It's Saint Valentine's Day!"
"Very well done Tobita!" Miss Serina answered. I saw Tobita Yuu's face go blotchy, and his feet shuffle underneath his desk. He does that a lot. I think he must rabid like my granny's doggy, because he moves all the time. Poor Yuu, maybe he'd have to be sent away soon like my granny's doggy. "Valentine's Day is a very special day, were you give all your friends a token of love. So Monday next week, on the 14th of February, you will all be giving each other Valentine cards!"
"Ooooh! I love getting cards!" I squealed as I sighed dreamily. The last card I got was from the letterbox. It was called Houses On Sale. It was beautiful.
I heard a pssssh sound in the background, and I turned my head around, with a pout on my face. That pssssh could only belong to Meanie Natsume!
"Whatchoo pssssh-ing about?" I angrily huffed.
"I'm sneering because it's obvious nobody's going to give you a Valentine Card."
I heard his friends' laugh, and just as I was going to throw my extra-sharpened pencil at him, Miss Serina loudly coughed. I looked back at her, and straightened out my cherry-printed dress, after I gave Meanie Natsume the evilest smallest glare in the world. I gave him a small glare because I knew if Miss Serina saw me give him a glare, she'd send me to the office, like she did three weeks ago.
Mama was not happy.
"Will you two ever be friends?" I heard her sigh. My lips wanted to open to yell, NOOOOO but I didn't.
"Don't worry," I heard my best friend Hotaru whisper into my ear, "I'll make sure to put a Whoopee Cushion on his chair one day." I giggled at Hotaru's plan! She made me feel better already! That girl is amazing!
"Carrying on," Miss Serina said quite loudly, "We will be making a special Valentine's box to hold all the cards tomorrow. And on February 14th, the day of our Class Party, I will personally deliver the cards to each one of you—"
Just then, I jumped right out of my chair. Because nobody told me we were having a party too! That changes a lot, you know!
"Yay!" I yelled. "Yay for parties! Can we have cake? And what about strawberry laces? And oreo cookies?" I thought some more. "Plus also we'll need lollipops, and flying saucers, probably! And chocolate! Oh yeah, and some crisps—OH! AND FLUFF PUFFS!" I was out of breath as I ended my speech. My eyebrows crinkled as I looked at Miss Serina. She was rubbing her head. "You know, Miss, maybe you should be writing this down. You know, like on those sticky yellow paper you find on the fridge sometimes—"
"No, Mikan . . ." She replied. "We're only having cupcakes, juice and candy hearts."
I sat back down very disappointed. There was hardly anything in the menu.
"What kind of juice?" My other best friend, Permy, asked. "Raspberry? Or maybe strawberry? Because apple and orange juice are for poor people, that's what my mama told me!" She twirled around in her fluffy red dress which cost a gazillion pounds. Permy is a Richie, just so you know. "And I have a good idea! Why don't be have a ball? Mama is making me learn ballroom dancing at my very expensive dancing school. And so I would be happy to teach the children who are cheaper than me!"
Miss Serina stared at Permy.
". . . How very . . . generous, Sumire. But I don't think we'll be having ballroom dancing this year."
"Then why don't we get a puppet show?" Kitsune-me said, as he waved his hands in the air. "I had a Peter Pan puppet show last year! Let's get that!"
"Yeah!" agreed Anna Banana. "Ooh! What about a cooking course? We can make our own cupcakes."
"Magician!" Nonoko whined, as she stomped around.
She is what my mother calls, childish.
Then I saw Hotaru's boyfriend put his hand up, in a shy way. He was real quiet, he hardly screamed. If Hotaru didn't spend snack time with us, she was normally with Ruka-pyon. "What about a wild animal act? Like a bear?"
"Magician!" Nonoko said again. Talk about repeti . . . I forgot the word. Oh well.
"NO! WAIT! EUREKA, I'VE GOT IT!" Koko shouted loudly, as he got up on his chair! His whole body was moving with excitement. "WE COULD GET NARUMI SENSEI TO GIVE US A PLAY WHERE HE PLAYS BOTH THE MAN AND THE LADY!"
After that, the whole of 2B hooted, whistled and screamed. 'Cos who doesn't love Narumi Sensei half dressed as a lady and half dressed as a man? That's what I'd like to know!
We were still clapping and cheering, but then my eyes fell upon Miss Serina. My eyes bulgy-ed.
"Shhh!" I shushed, as I pointed in her direction. We all went super quiet and looked at her. Miss Serina's head was on her desk, and she looked like a zombie. She was scaring us a teensy bit. And then I sighed.
Because I was out of party ideas.
". . . Magiciannn . . ."
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The next day, me and my bestest friends were playing Princess and Horsies in the playground. And guess what? We saw Miss carry a giant box into Class 2B!
"That's the box we're decorating for Valentine's day." Hotaru explained.
"It looks cheap." Permy answered with her nose crinkled.
"Wowie wow!" I said. "That boxy thingy can carry gazillions of cards!"
I started to squeal and jump up and down, but then the bell rang. And we all ran to our classroom. Know why? I bet you don't. But I'll tell you because I'm nice. Because if you miss the bell, you get a black spot. Three black spots mean no cookies in snack time.
And normally we would jog back to Class 2B. But today we ran. Because we wanted to see the box, that's why! We all quickly sat down in our seats and we watched Miss Serina cover the box in shining wrapping paper.
She even cut a mail slot at the top!
"Alright, kids!" She loudly announced. I started to swing my legs up and down under my desk. I was having a silent squeal. That's when I squeal with no sound, just so you know. "Here's the Valentine's box I was talking about yesterday. This is the box we are going to put the Valentine Cards in. But first, I would like all of you to come get some pink paper from my desk, and a pair of scissors. I want you all to cut out hearts from the pink paper, so we can stick them onto the box!" I stopped my silent squealing, and squealed for real. Because I'm good at cutting hearts, that's why! I skipped to the desk, and lined up in the queue to get pink paper and scissors.
And when I got back to my seat, I cut my fastest.
"Miss Serina, Miss Serina! Lookie here! At me, Mikan Sakura!" I hollered. "I've already cut one heart! So I have the fastest scissors in Class 2B—"
Just then Meanie Natsume stood up, and shouted back, "No you don't, Polka Dots. I've already cut out two hearts!"
I pulled an ugly face, and then grabbed another sheet of paper, and cut as fastest as I could. "Two hearts, Hyuuga!" I shouted back.
"Five, Sakura."
Poo-head! He can do everything better than me!
Everything!
"Oh yeah?" I said as I stood up, and then my fingers lunged to his desk, and I snatched all his hearts from his desk. "Ha-ha to you!"
That's when I crumpled all five hearts of his into scribble scraps! I'm the winner because Meanie Natsume has none and I have two! "Haha, Meanie Natsume! You have none now!" I smiled happily when I saw Meanie Natsume's face turned hard as my Barbie doll.
All of a sudden, I felt my body being picked up. "Eh?" I looked behind me, and saw Miss Serina looking evilly at me as she held me back to my seat. I gulped. She didn't look too happy. She took my scissors away with a snap.
"Hey! I can't cut without—" I shut my mouth close when I saw her look at me more evilly. ". . . Should I smack myself?" I quietly asked.
She firmly shook her head and answered, "Say sorry to Natsume. That was very rude to ruin his hearts."
"What? But he was fusstrating me—"
"Mikan . . ." Miss Serina's eyes went like Hotaru cat's eyes.
Creepy.
And guess what sucked? I had to spend the whole of the afternoon cutting no hearts, but cleaning my desk. And say sorry to that Meanie when it was his fault. That's call unfair, I think.
It's all Meanie Natsume's fault. I can hear do that thing he calls sneering.
Meanie Natsume is the meanest Meanie in the whole entire world.
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Some long, gazillion minutes later, the box was done! It was beautiful! It was covered in hearts!
"There." I heard Permy say, "Now it looks like something from Tiffany's."
I wondered who Tiffany was.
Miss Serina had gotten us all to take a sheet home that had everybody's name on. As soon as I got mine, I drew a big heart next to my name.
There. Now my name looked prettiful.
"So, there are twenty-four of you in this class." Miss Serina started. "Everybody is going to bring in twenty-three Valentine's Card in next week, okay?" Everybody chanted an Okay back, but I didn't get it.
"Why twenty-three? You said yourself there's twenty-four of us."
"Well surely you not bringing yourself a Valentine Card, are you?"
I thought about that. It made sense. But then I pouted. "But what if I don't want to give a Valentine's day card to Nats—"
"You are bringing everybody in the class a card, Mikan." Miss Serina said very strongly. "Valentine's Day is a day of love and friendship, so, I would be very disappointed, not to mention angry if somebody doesn't bring somebody else a card on Valentine's Day."
"I know that Valentine's Day is a day of love and something else. But what if you don't love this person? Or if this person is a meanie?" I asked. I had finished my sentence off by talking a bit louder, and looking evilly in the direction of Meanie Ugly Stupid Poohead Natsume Hyuuga.
"Yes Mikan."
"But what if this person is a meanie with a mean eyes?"
"Yes Mikan."
"But what if this person is a meanie with mean eyes and a big, fat poohead?"
I didn't expect Miss Serina to then all of a sudden (I learnt that smart word last week from grandpa) throw her hands up and say, "Yes Mikan! Yes! Even if they are big, fat, meanie pooheads, you will bring in a Valentine's Day Card for them!"
We all gaped. You know why? Because Miss Serina just said bigfatmeaniepoohead, that's practically said the worstest word in the whole entire world, I think.
Maybe even the universe thingy.
Miss Serina stood up.
She took some Aspirin. Wonder what that stuff is anyway.
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"Mummy! Mummy!" I hollered as soon as I came home that day. I threw my coat and rucksack at that floor, and zoomed as quickly as possible to that mother of mine. You see, baldie grandpa is the one that takes me and brings me back from school, because mummy has to take care of that monkey of hers. The monkey is my little brother, You-chan. I love that monkey very much, but I wish he didn't live with us. Nobody asked for my permsmission for him to be brought into our family! As soon as You-chan came, I wasn't allowed to scream, or run in the house anymore. But I forget that a lot. Because nobody writes it down on that sticky yellow note you sometimes find on the fridge.
I already told Granpa about the party. He didn't seem too excited. All he did was rub his head, and told me to Shhh on the street. I don't think he quite understood the problem with Miss Serina saying bad words, or how I have to send Meanie Natsume a dumb old card.
"Mummy! Mummy! MUMMY! Muuummmyyy! Muuummmmmyyy!" I hollered loudlyer when she didn't answer me, "MUUUMMMMMM—!"
"MIKAN SAKURA!"
Uh-oh. That was sure Mummy . . . She doesn't sound too happy though. Maybe she had a weird day today as well as me.
Oh, phooey. I hear You-chan crying.
Then, from the You-chan's room, came Mummy, with a very witchy look on her face. I gulped, "How are ya today Mummy? I'm fab, just a bit tired and all—"
"Mikan!" She hissed like that snake in The Jungle Book, "How many times do your father and I have to tell you not to come into the house screaming like a lunatic? You've woken Youichi up, and he just fell asleep! Not to mention, your Grandfather isn't too well. Screaming like a crazy girl doesn't make him any better! Frankly it makes it worse!"
"I'm sorry! I promise, promise, promise I won't do it again!" I whined.
"That's what you said yesterday, Missy!"
Missy, is my name when I'm a bad girl. Mummy and Daddy use it quite often. Grandpa's nice, so he doesn't. And the monkey You-chan can't even speak. He's useless, he can't even walk. I don't know why we don't just get a new monkey.
"Mummy, you have to listen to me though! I had a very strange day today! It was probably the worstest day in Kindergarden so far! We have to go to the Card shop on Saturday or Sunday to buy everybody in the class a Valentine's Day Card! Even Meanie Natsume! And Miss Serina said a bad word today!" I said to that women very quickly, as I shoved the Class Name List paper Miss Serina gave to me, in her hands.
"Shhh!" Mummy answered. She asked Grandpa politely to take care of that dumb old You-chan, while me and her went to the kitchen for a cookie, and for to chat.
She passed me the biggest cookie, and told me to explain everything again, slowly and calmly.
I smoothened my cherry-print dress and started, "Once upon a time, a beautiful Princess called Mikan was at her Princess Day School. But then, her teacher . . . urr . . . oh I know! Ahem, her teacher, Duchess Serina, told the whole class that Valentine's Day was close, and that we had to bring in Valentine's Card for everybody next week. The problem was Princess Mikan didn't want to bring Ugly-Stinky-Head-Servant, Natsume, a Valentine's Card. But Duchess Serina said she had to! And then at the end of the day, Duchess Serina said a bad word—"
"What word?" Mummy quickly asked with her eyes like a kitty's eyes.
I looked at her. "Do you really want to know?"
Mummy nodded.
"Bigfatmeaniepoohead!" I tattle-taled, in a small voice super quickly.
Mummy just took a big sigh, so I told her off, "Mummy, that's not what a Mummy should do, I think. When a teacher says a bad word, you're supposed to tell the man at the desk, I believe. And you're friends with the leader of the school, so ring him! Now!"
Mummy laughed, and hugged me nicely. "You're full of surprises, Mikan. Now, your other problem—"
"Yes! My other problem with Meanie Natsume! What am I going to do?"
"Well, I for one think that Natsume is a very handsome young boy! Definitely not an Ugly-Stinky-Head-Servant—I would say he's a Prince, Mikan! Especially with that model mother's of his! I don't why you two don't get along though. You could be such cute friends."
I pulled an icky face. Like the face I pull when Mummy tells me that one day I'll enjoy eating mushy mushrooms. Then I said, "I don't think you quite understand my problem, madam. I don't want to give Meanie Natsume a card!"
Mummy's face then turned scary. "You will do as Miss Serina says. You will bring everybody a Valentine's Day Card next Monday. Even Natsume. And that's final."
I did a huffy breath at that women. Sometimes she's so fusstrating.
So I left that women in the kitchen alone, and went to my bedroom, and hollered, "DON'T COME IN."
And then I closed the door. I climbed underneath my blanket. Underneath your blanket is where you can say mean things, but no one can hear you. "I hate that Meanie Natsume." I whispered.
And guess what? I felt much better getting my feelings out!
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End of Part I
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