Sasha sat quietly curled up on Connie's sofa her legs tucked under her chin. She hadn't moved an inch since she showed up at his place and was staring silently into oblivion.
She didn't know what else to do; she had burnt herself out and was lacking any motivation to move. Her heart was swimming with a pool of mixed emotions. The love of Sasha's current life and her girlfriend of almost a year and a half was ignoring her. She barely spoke to her and tended to ignore her calls or texts.
She still cuddled with her at night (very tightly she may add) and acknowledged her presence. However, she didn't speak so much as two words to her.
Most times when Sasha saw her she was with her childhood friends Eren Yeager or Armin Arlert. It seemed that whatever was hurting her; Mikasa didn't trust Sasha enough to tell her.
Sasha couldn't fathom what she could have done to upset the Ackerman girl. I mean Mikasa was odd like that with showing her emotions but she would have made it obvious.
Over their time of dating Sasha had become very good at reading the Ackerman girls body language. She could tell when something good happened or something bad happened.
And everything inside of her was screaming that she had fucked up somehow. She had done something wrong without realizing it and really hurt Mikasa. Or what if it wasn't even that; what if…. what if Mikasa didn't want her anymore. What if she wanted to break up?
She tightened the grip on her knees and tried to shake the thought from her mind. No; not after a year and a half (almost 2) would Mikasa want to break up with her. That couldn't be it.
I mean Sasha had always mentally accepted that her girlfriend was far prettier than her; her Asian blood making her very popular with the guys in her class. She had never told Mikasa this but always admitted it.
Sasha had dark chest length wavy-ish hair; that on most days looked like a tangled or wavy mess. She had rather sizeable breasts but she was often self-conscious about them.
People always started at them or looked at them rather than her eyes. They caused her back pain and got in the way quite a lot. Yes, though it didn't look it she was at least a 36D.
Mikasa had shoulder length silky black hair that looked good even on a bad day; it was literally impossible for her to have a bad hair day. It was so shiny and silky to touch that Sasha loved running her hands through it constantly.
The mental thought of running her hands through Mikasa's hair made her feel worse. She really fucking missed her but was too upset to so much as call her. Her soft silky skin that Sasha loved to touch; loved to stroke, loved to caress; like a baby. Her healthy C cup breasts that fit so well in her hands.
Mikasa had always kind of hated her breasts but Sasha loved them; they fit so well into her hands and weren't too big or too small. They were just the right size for her body.
The idea that she would never be able to hug Mikasa, kiss her, or even be able to touch her in any way again upset her. She wanted to be with Mikasa for as long as time would allow them.
Suddenly Connie came into the living room quietly and sighed heavily. Sasha hadn't moved since he went to make tea for both of them. "Sash… potato girl? How you holding up?" he called back in a playful yet caring manner. He only ever called her that nickname in an attempt to cheer her up.
Though she hated it when other people would call her that; she was fine with Connie saying it. Because he was her best friend and he meant it out of humour. She peered up from her lap quietly and looked at him from the corner of her eye "…Ok I guess" she muttered.
She wasn't exactly lying; she had been a mess when she first showed up at Connie's. Angry, short tempered and pacing back and forth in his hallway. However, after a while she eventually burnt herself out and found a semi calm state of mind and was currently sat on his sofa.
Connie approached and placed the two mugs on the table quietly. He didn't know what to do or what to say to make Sasha feel better. He himself was no genius when it came to relationships; but he was a good friend and he would do his best to help in her in any way he could.
"You hungry? All that pacing about earlier will have worn you out" he asked kindly. He had some freshly baked bread his mum brought over in the kitchen. He was making chili for lunch and it was a homemade recipe.
Usually Sasha would have jumped at the very mention of food; but instead she simply shook her head. She wasn't in the mood to eat right now. She wanted her girlfriend; she wanted Mikasa. But the latter most likely wouldn't even notice or realize she was missing. Mikasa did tend to have a one-track mind after all.
She gripped her knees tightly "No its ok" she replied stiffly. She wasn't exactly lying; even after all that crying and pacing she didn't want to eat. She couldn't really stomach the idea of food right now.
Connie frowned "Come on Sasha; it'll make you feel better" he said gently. Not eating wouldn't do her body any good. He knew she was hurting but not hurting herself would do no good. It wouldn't make the situation any better either.
"I'm not hungry Connie" she replied sharply. She knew he was trying to be kind but she really wasn't in the mood to eat anything. If she did she wouldn't finish it or simply take one mouthful.
Connie wanted to argue but the tone of her voice made him consider otherwise. Though she didn't look it normally Sasha could be very scary when mad. He sighed in defeat and sat next to her quietly.
He then picked up his own mug of tea and blew on it quietly before sipping the contents. "You tried speaking to her? You know how awkward Mikasa is with voicing her feelings" Connie suggested.
Mikasa had always appeared to be a stoic and withdrawn character. However deep down she was a truly caring and motherly individual. She had been very happy when Sasha confessed to her and the first few months of them dating; Mikasa had been silently fangirling when Sasha hugged her.
Sasha hesitated then nodded "Y…yeah; but she's always with Eren and Armin lately" he explained defensively. She had come to respect the bond the three of them had and never interrupted their conversations.
Whenever she wanted to speak to Mikasa; she wouldn't be home or would be with her friends. So instead of interfering she went about her own routine and gave Mikasa her space.
Connie sighed "You should try talking to her; it'll help" he reassured her. They needed to deal with this as a couple; talk this out together. He could only do so much as her best friend after all.
Sasha relented then nodded; Connie was right. Usually she was the one to give advice but today he was the one helping her. She smiled weakly at Connie in gratitude "Thanks Con" she said kindly. He really was a good friend.
Connie smiled at her "No problem" he said smiling. He then nodded at her tea gesturing her to drink so she could feel better.
Sasha took the hint and hesitantly took the tea; it tasted good. It warmed her insides and comforted her conflicted soul. She felt a bit more confident; still shaky but a little bit of courage boiled inside of her. Telling she should take Connie's advice and talk to her lover.
Later
Sasha paced down the street quietly towards her and Mikasa's shared apartment. She wondered if it would be empty or if she would find the latter inside. If she came home to a dark apartment it would only bring back the sadness from earlier.
Hell, even if they didn't talk she just wanted to lay beside Mikasa and hold her. To feel her body against her own as they slept; breathing in her comforting scent and to bury her nose in her hair.
She started up the stairs and eventually reached the front door. She grabbed her keys and opened the door quietly trying not to make too much noise. As she closed the door she saw that a few of the lights were off bar the living room and hallway. This meant Mikasa was indeed inside.
Slowly she removed her coat and shoes making her way inside. She was wearing a blue "I love pizza" T shirt and black ripped jeans. She then walked down the hallway to see Mikasa indeed sitting in the living room quietly.
She was sat in the same position she had been sat in earlier but on their couch. Her dark hair tumbled over her face in a curtain hiding her beautiful face. Her black eyes voice of any emotion.
She was wearing a pair of blue washed jeans and a red hoodie (Sasha's red hoodie) and curled up on the couch. Her nose was buried into her lap and she was staring at the floor intently.
Sasha entered the living room quietly. She didn't know what to say to her or how to even begin the conversation. "Um…. I…" Sasha began but was cut off by Mikasa sitting up quietly. The sudden movement caused her to jolt in surprise and step away.
Suddenly Mikasa pulled her into a hug quietly Sasha's head resting comfortably on her shoulder. The latter being rather stunned at her abrupt gesture. "Welcome home" Mikasa said quietly. It had been really quiet without Sasha around and she hated it.
Sasha softened allowing her thoughts from earlier to leave her mind. She then wrapped her arms around Mikasa quietly and hugged her. "I'm home Mika-chan" she said softly. She could just forget about earlier for now; forget about it and hold the girl she loved oh so much.
