Hello people of ! I bring you an Avengers one shot! It's most likely crap but I have a load of oneshot ideas floating around in my head so I gotta get some down and out! Sorry for any grammer and spelling mistakes as I don't have spell check and shtick on my tablet. Let me know if you think the rating needs to go up, I have a slight swearing problem... any way please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers sadly, if I did there would be Stony and Hulkeye all over the place.

Loki sat bored in the cell, it was strong yes. But most definitely not made for him. If he really wanted he'd be out of here by now. Well ok, maybe not. It seemed humans had learned something from his idiotic brother's visit. But he'd be out soon, Barton and some of his other flying monkeys were on their way. He'd be out and kicking in no time.

Though right now he was bored. So bored in fact that he'd already counted all the squares on the ceiling, floors and everyother serface in the whole blasted place.

One thing he knew though, was that a bored Loki was just as bad as a bored Stark. He started blowing things up. Just in a different more refined way than Stark did. He did it with his mind, not the clumsy metal suit.

He focused on the stairs outside the cell, concentrating until the molecuels started vibrating, then he added some spice to the mix. And before you know it, BAM!

The whole set of stairs went up in smoke before it clattered out of the flying fortress into the sky. And if he concentrated enough he'd be able to hear it crash to Earth, hopefully it would crush a few puny humans when it landed. He heard a distant shriek, hmm, this was fun.

He concentrated on random spots in his area, and grinned in deight as they went up in smoke, one by one with a BOOM!

The game of boom went on for a while, that was until Fury caught on and ruined his fun.

"If you wanted to see me you only had to ask, not blow up the whole motherfucking place."

"Who said I wanted to see you?"

Fury growled, "Well what do you want? To see your brother?"

"God no! And that dunderhead is not my brother!" Loki snarled.

Fury walked forward and stopped a few feet from the glass of the cell, he raised an eyebrow, waiting.

"I was meerly bored, I want one of those magazine things you mentioned."

Fury looked shocked, that was until he burst out laughing.

Loki stood patiently as the director laughed, he simply raised an eyebrow.

Fury finally gained enough composure to lift his hand to his ear and the com there.

"Agent Coulson," Fury chuckled "It turns out Real Power does infact want a magazine!" He barely managed to get the scentence out before he was cackling and clutching at his stomach as he bellowed his laughter down the com.

There was a composed snicker on the other end of the com, then shouting ensued.

"MARIA!"

"WHAT?"

"FETCH A TAKE A BREAK FOR REAL POWER WOULD YOU?!"

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME COULSON?!"

"GET A PONY MAG WHILE YOU'RE AT IT TO."

"WHAT THE FUCK'S GOTTEN INTO YOU COULSON?!"

"GO WILD MARIA GO WILD!"

"YOU AREN'T JOKING ARE YOU?"

Agent Coulson's laughter was enough confirmation, he hardly ever laughed.

"HOLY SHIT!" Maria cackled "SITWELL, GO FIND SOME MAGAZINES FOR REAL POWER WOULD YOU?!"

It ended up with the whole of the command station on the Hellcarrier pissing themselves laughing, not to mention Fury curled up on the floor crying and howling with laughter.

Loki remained silent.


The Black Widow stalked silently down to 'talk' with Loki, she needed to get this information.

She walked around the corner, knowing he wouldn't notice her until she revealed herself. She smirked, this was going to be easy. Or not.

Loki was sat reading a magazine on the bench in the cell with magazines all around him. From Take A Breaks to Pony Mags and Power Rangers, Guitar Magazine and Women's Fashion, Play Boy Bunnies and Sex Tips.

Natasha stood gawking at the sight, perhaps she's come back another time.

Before she could make her escape though he spoke.

"Tell me Black Widow, what is the purpose of a female condom?"

Thanks for reading! If you have any ideas or prompts or something I'd love to give them a go! :)

Thanks again!

People are so petty and tiny

xx