A/N: If you're new to this story ignore this, however, if you're returning, I've melded together the 1st/2nd chapters and the 3rd/4th chapters to make the work smaller. I didn't cut chapters, nothing has changed and the work has remained the same. Enjoy!

I was born twice: Once, as a baby girl on an unremarkably rainy Massachusetts day in July of 2050, and again as as adult woman in the wake of nuclear war.

The day started off so simple; Really, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing supernatural or strange. Only looking back on it did I realize something was wrong. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the television broadcasts those moments before. Or maybe I should've noticed why the Vault-Tec representative was pushing us so hard to reserve our spot in the Vault. Whatever it was, it didn't stop the bombs from falling. And they fell.

I found it amazing, when it came down to it, how few things were worth taking when the sirens rang and the television stopped broadcasting. Shaun and Nate were all that mattered, maybe they were all that ever mattered.

We ran. I've never ran that fast in my life, with Shaun tucked into my arm and Nate pulling my free hand up, up, up that hill. I took a moment, only a second to look back at our house. I will never see that home again, I thought, but I pushed the thought out of my mind. It's selfish, unproductive and unhelpful. All that mattered then was safety.

We were the last ones to make it to the platform. Nate took me in his arms, minding that Shaun was between us and says just loudly enough so I can hear him; "I love you. I love both of you." I was still shocked that it was all happening, that all I could say is, "We love you too." Then we were sent down, down, down. But not before we saw it: The end of the world. In all of it, I couldn't help thinking of when Nate finally came back from the Chinese campaign.

'Home from war,' he told me. Yeah right.

The ground shook and our knees buckles and the air was so hot that it felt like we were being suffocated. I held onto Shaun so tightly like he was my center of gravity, afraid that if I dropped him, I would fall off the earth. Nate's arm are wrapped around us as the platform sinks into the earth. And all I could think was, we're okay. We're saved.

The vault.

The vault was bright and clean and sterile. In the vault, we got our jumpsuits and Nate had to hold mine for me because I was carrying Shaun. The doctor leading us down the metal hallway… I can't remember anything he told me. But I do remember squeezing Nate's hand, kissing Shaun's forehead and telling my baby, "Look honey, this is our new home." Maybe I said that more for my sake in than for my son's.

Then we're lower into the vault, and at the end of our hallway. The doctor tells us to step into a decontamination pod before heading deeper into the Vault. I should've thought that that was strange, but at the time I was so scared that I went along with it.

Nate changes into his vault suit first, so I hand him Shaun for me to change as well. Nate hands him back, and then I'm staring at the pod in front of me. I didn't realize I was shaking until Nate put his hand on my shoulder. He hugs us and kisses my forehead, "it's all going to be okay. We made it."

We're saved. I thought again.

Shaun began to cry, and I tried to calm him down; "Shh… it's okay." I said, trying to cheer him up. It's wasn't working. I sigh and look to Nate, "will you hold him? I think he wants you."

He does, and cradles him in his arms. "Who's my little guy…" I hear him say faintly before he hops into his pod.

I left my old life behind forever when that door sealed shut.

And then the Vault-tec doctor, reminding me: "The vault will decontaminate and depressurize you before heading deeper into the vault. Just relax!"

I wasn't paying attention to the doctor anymore, I pressed my hand up against the cool glass, my eyes locked with Nate's. He mouthed I love you. I nodded, letting him know I understood.

"Resident secure," hummed an automated voice in the pod. "Occupant vitals; normal. Procedure complete. In five, four, three, two…" The pod hisses away, and my arms and legs freeze up, I start to panic that it's becoming harder and harder to move.

"One," echoed the voice.

The pod began to then grow cold, and I thought I was dying.

I'm alive, I'm dead. I'm alive, I'm dead…

I'm alive.

The view outside the door is dark, except for the omnious glow that Nate's pod gives off. I felt weird, I didn't feel safe. I wondered where the doctors were.

Then that man.

I was so disoriented at first, how could I had not have seen the gun before it happened? They opened his pod… They wanted my baby. I clawed at the glass door, banging my hands, shouting for them to stop, stop stop.

But they didn't stop. I don't even know if they heard me.

One woman in a blue suit that covered her whole body and face tried to take Shaun. My Shaun! Nate fought with all his might be keep him in his arms, but that man. That man with the gun.

How can I describe what happened next without falling apart immediately? I suppose I'll have to say it as simply as possible: This man whom I've never met before came into our vault, he must have killed all of our doctors, and then, with two bullets, ended the love of my life.

My heart felt as if it were ripped out of thrown away from me, the feeling was truly unbearable. I felt rage, disgust, true and absolute depression. I've never lost family before that point; Perhaps a great grandmother or an uncle I didn't know but never someone like Nate. To lose family is to lose the experience of watching someone grow old with you. And to lose a husband? Well, that is like losing the sun from above you.

I raged, I swore, and then that woman in the blue suit took Shaun. I sobbed harshly inside the pod, I banged my fists and swore and raged and cursed their lives.

Then that man, with a face I'll never forget, pressed his face against my pod like somebody looking into a fish's tank. "At least we'll have the backup." His gravely voice declared.

Then they left me, alone in that pod and I felt my limbs freeze up again. I panicked, knowing I couldn't fall asleep, not now, not when Nate needed me! Not with Shaun in the arms of someone who wasn't me! I cried out as the freezing cold bit at my skin, forcing my eyes to close in exhaustion and utter defeat.

All I could think as my eyes threatened to close was, it should have been me. Why couldn't I have taken Shaun with me? Why can't I just...

The world grew cold, and my thoughts left my mind and against my better will, I became unconscious inside the pod again.

(-)

"Hi honey, listen… I don't think Shaun and I need to tell you how great of a mother are but we're going to anyway!...You are kind-"

I flip the holotape off almost immediately. Popping the tape out, I stared at Nate's messy handwriting, 'Hi honey!' It reads. His voice… I feel like I'd only heard it hours ago, but in reality it was over two centuries. Two. Centuries. I felt like I was going to be sick.

I stand up from the porch, dusting myself off. I wanted out of my Vault suit; it's a hot day and the Vault suit is definitely not made of cotton.

Sanctuary is destroyed. The neighborhood is burned out, debris-strewn, rat infested and sewage stained. Overturned cars and downed power-lines and trash piled up against houses by wind and water, trash blanketing yards and driveways, trash hanging from the barren tree limbs. Plastic bags and newspapers, clothing, shoes, toys, broken chairs and mattresses, TVs. It's like a cosmic giant grabbed the neighborhood with both hands and shook it as hard as he could. Seeing it like this makes the name Sanctuary seem depressing as worst and ironic at best. If I close my eyes, I can picture it before. The big block parties, the halloween decorations in everyone's front yard, Nate and Shaun…

Then I open my eyes, and the vision is gone, and hell returns.

Codsworth is inside my home, if you can call it that anymore. Everything that made it a home is gone; the carpet's are worn down and dirty, the windowed are destroyed, the furniture is scorched and threatens to collapse if I sit on it for too long. He hears me enter and the robot loudly exclaims, "Would you like a snack? I'm sure you must be starving!"

"I'd love that, Codsworth," I say weakly. Truth be told, I was hungry. And after that fight with the Bloodbugs inside my neighbor's homes and another reminder that Shaun was far, far away and Nate was farther, I felt very drained. "I'll… I'll be in the nursery."

"Of course, mum!"

Shaun's nursery. I should have prepared myself better for that. It's a disaster. The wall are burned with radiation, broken glass scatters the floors, the soft carpet is gone, and the bright colors are long since faded. His crib still standing, but his mobile, completely shattered. I took the time to rearrange his furniture, when I found Shaun, I want his room to be clean. He'd want that, I think absently.

I push his crib against the wall, I flip over the chair I nursed him with, I dust off the table I changed his diapers on. Then, in the midst of it all, I find his teddy bear; Not fluffy and a nice caramel color, with button eyes and a pleasant smile; No, it's ratty and old, the buttons are gone and the red ribbon that was tied around his neck is nowhere to be found.

I clutch the bear in my arms, hugging it tightly around my chest. I stifle a sob, but the tears come again anyway. They don't seem to come from my eyes but from deep in my gut. It's a heaving so powerful it hurts my stomach and my lungs. My eyes flood and the pain is so great, I'm certain it will kill me right here, right now. I hadn't even begun to start to look for him, and I already felt like giving up.

"Mum?" I hear Codsworth in the doorway. "Are you alright?"

I felt myself giving up- I would have if a voice hadn't made itself heard in my heart, and that voice said, 'you will not die.' I wipe a tear with the my sleeve. I turn around and face him, "I won't die, Codsworth. I refuse it."

"That's the spirit!" Codsworth replied casually, like I'd told him I'd taken another shift, or I just finished my taxes. I must have set Codsworth's positivity levels to extremely high.

I hug the bear tight, "Shaun's out there, I have to find him," I say, my voice slightly breaking when I say him.

"Why not try Concord, mum? Plenty of people there, and last I checked they only pummeled with sticks a few times before I had to return home!" Codsworth chirps.

"People are still alive in Concord?" I whisper, almost in shock. I know it's dumb. The bombs couldn't have killed everyone. I guess seeing my neighborhood in such a terrible state gave me the fear that I was completely alone. So I'm not the last human on Earth, but surely I must be one of the last.

One of the last. Just that thought is enough to make me check out and have my brain skip like a scratched CD: Alone, alone, alone, Nora, you're alone.

Or not so alone as Codsworth says, "Yes although they are a bit rough. I'd stay wary were I you, mum! Haha! You remember the way?"

"I think so. Just over Red Rocket, right?"

"Right-o! And I will stay here and secure the homefront!" Codsworth whirrs around to head back into the kitchen.

"Wait, Codsworth?"

He whirrs back, "yes, mum?"

"Thank you," I spoke. "For staying around these past two centuries. I'm glad that you're here."

And Codsworth, as if he did have real tears, sounds choked up, "why, thank you, mum! Proud to serve!"

And with that, he's back in the kitchen humming to himself. I looked back at Shaun's crib, and spin his broken mobile; The slight tinkle of a lullaby lights up the room, reminding me to not give up hope. Concord, huh? Well, it's a start.

I pack up for Concord. There's a few things I always keep on my person now; They might be the only things that matter to me.

My wedding ring.

Nate's wedding ring. His dog tags, rusted and bent slightly.

Shaun's ratty old teddy bear. Not that it's mine now. Not that I'm going to cuddle with it or anything. He'll need something to play with when I find him.

Some cans of water. Nate said that one of the easiest things to forget while in combat was staying hydrated, and how many of his fellow soldiers got sick because of it. I keep it in mind as I pack extra.

A box of fancy lad snack cakes. I tried one. They're so stale, but it's food, and it's the apocalypse, so complaining is useless.

The 10mm. I've never used a gun before today. Nate wanted to show me how, but I couldn't do it. I just wasn't soldier material. Now, what I wouldn't give for a lesson.

Ammo too, as much of it as I could find.

The holotape Nate made. Maybe one day I'll get through it all. But it's definitely not today.

Stimpaks and gauze. Just in case. If anyone in Concord would beat Codsworth, the sweetheart that he is, I fear my own health.

Bobby pins. I didn't have a hair tie on me when I entered the Vault. Stupid. I might have to cut it.

That was it. But I wished there was more. There's so much gone from my home that I want. Specifically, I want my law degree. Either it was burned up by radiation or eroded over the years, or whatever, but it's gone now. Seven years of my life and a lot of late nights, but what shows for it? Certainly not the frame because somehow that's gone too.

I'm out for Concord within thirty minutes. I couldn't stay in Sanctuary long; too many memories. Codsworth is right there to escort me out, telling me to be safe. He claims he has to stay here and protect the house. I understand that he's scared; He's no Mr. Gutsy. Then again, neither am I but I've got more drive than he.

At the bridge is where I leave him, "Bye, Codsworth. Stay safe, honey."

"And you as well, Ms. Nora! Oh dear, do be careful."

"I will. Concord's not far," I say, peering into the horizon. "If all goes well, and I get some information, I'll be back here by sunset to make plans."

Then I'm gone.