At first, there had been fire.
Their relationship was forbidden. It was taboo and thus, tempting. It had drawn him like a moth to a flame. He loved secrets and breaking rules. He loved doing something completely and utterly morally wrong in secret and then revealing it to the public in a nonchalant manner such as to say Yes, I did, now what are you going to do about it?
He planned to seduce the young boy, claim him as his and mark him so that everyone would know before leaving him. He wanted to show that he could whatever he damned well pleased without having to face the consequences. It was childish, really. But it was him.
^&^&^
I woke with a sudden start, blood pounding in my ears as I surveyed my surroundings. Where was I again?
I sighed in relief as I looked over at the body next to me. He looked so peaceful, childish even. I wander if he realizes how much of his true nature he reveals in his sleep? From his despairing nightmares to his innocent murmuring as he cradled me close to him, slumber reveals everything there is to be known about the desolate teen.
Still, I am not foolish enough to believe that it will stay like this forever. As cliché as it may seem, dreams do always have to end... and this has gone on for far too long.
I'm betraying everything I stand for by being here. I believe in standing up for oneself, in never letting yourself be used for someone else's sick twisted pleasure… yet I allow myself to be his toy. It hurts but I'm alone and human. I need the company and the false love. I'm a ninja and I'm losing my sanity.
I need something to hold on to.
In a way, I'll be glad when it ends though. Maybe then I'll actually find true love… though I've never been one to hope fruitlessly.
I did at one point… but now I'm a fallen angel. I've been defiled and broken and shown reality in its cruelest form. The shinobi lifestyle has done this to be, twisted and crippled me in a way that I'll never be able to straighten again.
I hear rustling and I turn to him, ready to serve at his beck and call. It will all end soon enough.
^&^&^
Don't think for one minute that he didn't know how much he had broken him.
He saw the bitter grin, the clouded eyes and the lost hopes. He realized that he was, to a certain extent, the source of this pain. He had shown him the sad face of reality, forced him to delve into a world that he wasn't quite ready to see.
He wished though, that he could say it was for the boy's own good… but it wasn't. It was for his own selfish need to bend and break perfection. To force a bright light to fade and turn to dusk.
It was cruel but it was him. He, long ago, had been defiled and scarred as well and he felt the need to return the wretched favor.
^&^&^
He pulled me closer, breathing in my scent before pushing me off the bed. It was a typical response of him; he needed me to beg for him.
And he knew I would.
So then, the cycle would go on and on until the day that he no longer needed me and returned me to my fallen home, forcing me to bare the shame of our endeavors.
And I knew, no matter how much I tried, how much I struggled to become stronger, to break the bonds tying me to this barren place and leave.… I knew I wouldn't be able to.
After all… I am a fallen angel.
AN: This oneshot is based on a quote from Yu Yu Hakusho volume 16 (my favorite volume) where Itsuki answers Kurama's question "You might've stopped him… before things got this far" by saying "Why would I want to do that? I yearned to watch him grow scarred and defiled, a fallen angel." And to me it just screamed ANGSTY SASUNARU! Hope you enjoyed it!
