Okay, so I've been like, crazy obsessed with Victorious lately. I don't know why, just have, and I love, love, love Jade and Beck and Tori and Cat and Robbie and…well all of them! It's sort of my outlet for what I'm going through right now.

But anyway, I wanted to right this in memory of those who were lost on 9/11. If any of you have any family members that passed that day, I am really sorry. My thoughts are with you. I almost lost my dad that day as I hadn't heard from him or spoken to him all day until very late that night. He was in New Jersey, about to get on a plane to New York, when it happened. My mom even told my brothers and I she didn't know how he was doing, and was worried that something may have happened.

Luckily, though, he was able to get in contact with us, and came back okay. But for those who weren't as lucky. I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to all of you.

So, this is my story about Jade's family. And how she's dealt with her loss. I really hope you enjoy it! It's probably my favorite thing I've written in about a month, and I really hope you like it.

Enjoy.

It was 9/11.

The worst day of my life. Well, I wouldn't say worse, but pretty close. I was only six years old when it happened, when the damn terrorists decided to crash into the twin towers. I didn't understand it at the time. What it meant, what was going to happen to the whole country…

I didn't understand that daddy was never going to come home again.

Usually, I'm a tough girl. I'm mean, sarcastic, and kind of dark and morbid. Luckily for me though, my boyfriend doesn't seem to care about any of that, and neither does my best friend.

They were with me when I found out, or actually when we all found out. I was at school, in my first grade classroom. Well, I didn't exactly find out then I just remember my mom coming to school and pulling me out, muttering something about my dad that I couldn't hear. It wasn't until we got home, when I heard the news.

I had just moved to Los Angeles, not even a week ago, from New Jersey. My dad, he was an aspiring music producer, and his new boss, had asked him to go back east to check out a hot new girl group. He had left two days before it happened, kissing my head and promising he'd come back and help me get adjusted better.

What he didn't know was even though I'd hidden myself in the house for a day, since I was new, and somewhat a little scared since it was a whole new place, and I wasn't used to it yet, but even so, I'd gone outside for the first time, and ran into a little girl. She had brown hair, and the biggest brown eyes I'd ever seen in my life. I smiled at her, and she smiled back, waving to me. Then she poked a darker haired boy with olive skin, and he looked up at me, smiling too.

Then, she turned to him and said something, and got up, walking over to me, with him right behind her.

"Hi! Are you new here?" She asked me, and I nodded.

"I just moved here two days ago…" I said.

She tilted her head. "Why?"

I shrugged, "My daddy got a new job, so we had to move."

She nodded, understanding. She pointed to herself, "I'm Catarina…" She said, "But you can call me Cat."

"I'm Beck!" The boy next to her said, seemingly full of energy. "Well, actually Beckett, but I go by Beck."

I looked at him, my eyes wide, "Wait! You guys have nickynames too? My name is Jadelyn, but I go by Jade, because I hate Jadelyn, and my daddy calls me Jade."

"Your name is so pretty!" Cat exclaimed, then she grabbed my wrist—unexpectedly, I might add—and pulled me with her. "We're playing, you can play with us!"

So, without my father even knowing, I had made two new friends. Although, come to think of it, I did call him later that night, and tell him about it. He was happy to hear I was social, since he knew leaving my old home was really hard for me.

A day later, was the first day of school, my teacher asked us to talk about our families, something that would be the main focus for the next week. Whatever that meant, at the time, I didn't get it, I mean, what six year old would?

"I'm Jade." I said, "I have a mommy and a daddy, I have no brothers and sisters because my mommy and daddy were really young when I was born and they aren't ready for a new baby yet." I shrugged, thinking, and then I remembered something, getting excited. "Oh! And I have a dog, his name is Bentley. My mommy says he's a year old, and a golden retreicer."

"Retreiver." My teacher corrected me, I wanted to punch her. She smiled at me, and looked at the class. "That's very good Jadelyn. Caterina, you're up next!"

"It's Jade!" I yelled. "And she's Cat!" I stomped to my seat, and sat down, crossing my arms over my chest.

Cat went up, and turned to the class, "I'm Cat. I have a mommy, a daddy, and a brother, he's my twin though. His name is Luke, and he's right there." She pointed behind me, and I turned to see him. He had blue eyes and shaggy blonde hair. He looked nothing like her twin. "We also have a cat, his name is Jackson, and a dog. He's really big! Like bigger than me and Luke put together! His name is Phillip! Because we like saying that when we call him—Phillip!" Then she started to giggle uncontrollably. "Okay! I'm done!" And with that she skipped to her seat next to me.

Her brother went up next, saying exactly what she did, only there was no point since the only difference was that he talked about her. After he was done, Beck was next.

"I'm Beck. I live with my mommy and daddy and older brother. His name is Andy." He shrugged, "I don't have any dogs or cats because my dad and brother are allergic." And with that he was finished.

"Very good," My teacher said once everyone had a turn. "I'm proud of all of you. Now, I'm going to ask you to draw me a picture of your family okay? And once we're done, I'll put it on the wall, so everyone can see."

We all nodded, and started to color. School ended about the time we started, so we had to leave it until the next day.

When I got home, the phone rang immediately and my mom answered, she smiled as she spoke, and I got to the table, taking out my coloring book and my crayons, I began to color in animals.

"Jade? Honey! Your daddy's on the phone for you, he'd like to hear about your first day!"

I jumped up and ran to my mom and dad's room, I jumped on the bed and grabbed the phone. "Hi, daddy!"

"Hi, pumpkin! How was your first day of school?" He asked me.

"It was okay. I had to talk about my family and color and draw, but we didn't have time so I have to finish it tomorrow." I said, all in one sentence, talking so fast, he paused me, and I had to restart it over again.

Boy did I hate doing that.

"How are your friends?" He asked me.

"They're good. We're gonna have a play date tomorrow at Beck's house! I'm so excited!" I grinned. We talked for a a little bit more before he had to go. "No! Don't go yet!"

"I'll be home tomorrow, I promise, okay? And then we'll talk all you want." My dad assured me.

If only I knew then how empty that promise would turn out to be.

"Okay…" I sighed, "I love you daddy!"

"I love you too, princess."

And that was the last time I ever got to speak to him again.

The next day, I was in school. It was around my nine o clock in the morning, and we were working on our pictures. I was about to color in my mom's shirt when I was called to the principal's office. Cat looked at me worriedly, but I didn't think it was a big deal since I hadn't done anything bad in the last few days.

I got there, and my mom was sitting there, her hands clasped together, he head down, as my principal gave me a sympathetic look.

"Hi, mommy!" I said, bouncing towards her excitedly. "Why are you at school? I was just coloring the picture of me, you, and daddy when—" I stopped talking once I saw her break down. "Mommy?" I asked, my mood changing, I stepped back, and looked at my principal.

"Why is she crying?"

He didn't get to answer me though, because my mom had put herself together, and then asked to take me out of class. I went back and got my stuff, then left with my mom. Once we got home, I walked in, throwing my stuff on the ground.

"When's daddy getting back?" I asked her. "I have so much to tell him!"

My mother then took my hand and slowly walked me to the couch. She told me to sit, and then kneeled in front of me. She took both of my hands in hers, and even though she was crying, she tried her hardest to tell me what happened.

"Listen, honey, your daddy…he isn't coming back."

My eyes widened, "What? He said he was coming back today! He said!" I yelled.

I know now that telling a six year old news that heartbreaking would be difficult, but then I didn't get it. I didn't want to hear it.

"I know, but he—he was killed."

"What's killed?" I asked her.

"It means someone made your daddy die." I knew what die meant.

"What?" Was all I could say.

"You remember when your fish died and we had to flush him down the toilet?"

"You flushed him down a toilet?"

"No! He's too big, but listen, I know this is going to be hard for you to understand, but there are these…mean people in the world. And they wanted to attack America, so they crashed their planes into the Twin Towers, they're in New York…and your dad, he was in one of the buildings, having a meeting when it happened."

I just stared at her, too numb to say anything.

"And the building fell, crushing him…I'm so sorry sweetie, but he'd dead!" And then she broke down, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug.

I didn't know what to do, cry, whine, throw tantrum because I wanted him back…so instead I just sat there completely motionless.

I let her hug me and I let her cry. I didn't move from my spot.

I sat there for what seemed like hours, until my mother forced me to eat, even though I wasn't hungry. Beck and Cat called and asked if I was coming, but my mother told them I couldn't. I didn't know what to do, just lay on the couch, and clutched my teddy bear—the bear my dad gave me when I was two.

I didn't cry, I didn't do anything.

My mom let me stay home for a few days, and when I finally went back, I sat in my seat, playing with my hands.

Cat sat down next to me, and gave me a hug—which only meant she knew. Beck did the same thing, but it lasted longer than Cat's. From that day forward, I never let him go, if he left I kicked and screamed until he came back. He was my lifeline—my crutch, and I was afraid to lose him.

About a week later, I had finished my picture. I walked up to my teacher and handed it to her. She looked at it, and back at me. "Where's your dad?" She asked me.

"I don't have a daddy anymore." I whispered, "so he's not in the picture." And with that I walked back to Beck, who hugged me, and let me color with him.

Now, I'm sixteen years old, and believe it or not, Beck and I are now dating. And have been for about two years now. Ever since my father's death ten years prior, he and I became inseparable. I wouldn't let him lead my side…for anything. He was constantly staying over my house, or I'd stay at his. My mom didn't really say much about it, and neither did his parents.

Today though, I lay with him on his bed. My head on his chest, his arm around me as he played with my hair, and we watched the news—footage from ten years ago, and for the first time in my life, I watched exactly what had happened. Even though Beck had protested it, I begged him to let me finally watch it.

He did—even though he really didn't want me to—and lay with me the whole time as my eyes began to tear up.

"My dad was really in there?" I whispered, unable to believe it for a second.

"I know this is hard for you," he said back, "if at any point you want me to stop, just tell me and I will right away."

"No." I said, "I want to keep watching."

And so we did, all day, and all night. We had school the next day, but we didn't make a move to get up and get ready for it. We just stayed home, and lay together as I thought about my dad.

"I wonder, what he would be doing right now…" I said, "Would he be with my mom still? Would he be successful? Would he have lived his dreams?" I looked up at him. "He always wanted to be a music producer. He always told me that was his dream, well that and me becoming a famous singer, while he produced my record." I took a deep breath. "I wanted to be a singer…more than anything."

"And you are, that's why you're in Hollywood Arts, you've obviously got the potential. I've seen what you can do."

"He always told me to live my dreams." I whispered, "But how can I when his won't ever come true?"

Beck sat up, pulling me with him. He tilted my head towards him and looked in my eyes directly. "Then live out your dreams, do that for not only yourself, but for your dad as well. Let him see that even though you went through what you did, you still came out strong. He would've wanted you to live your dreams, not just live your life as if they never existed. So, please, Jade, for yourself and for your father…don't give up, keep striving, to the best you can be."

I smiled, and kissed him gently. "I love you, Beck." I whispered. "Thank you."

"No problem…" He kissed me again. "And for the record, you're an amazing singer, an amazing…well everything." He grinned. "I love you, Jade."

"Even though I'm mean, and sarcastic and—" He shut me up by kissing me. Damn.

"I don't care, I know who you really are, and so does Cat. We love you no matter what. And your dad does too, he watches over you every day. Just believe in yourself, and don't ever give up."

"I won't." I promised. "I won't ever give up as long as I have you here with me."

He kissed the top of my head. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Later that week, a new girl started at our school. Her name was Tori, and she pretty much began to excel at everything, which made me, really mad.

She even went as far as to kiss Beck.

Even though I let it go, it still bothered me, so that's why I put up a front with her. I was mean to her, and acted like a real bitch. She didn't know anything about my life, so she really didn't care.

Only a few times did I let my guard down with her—but it didn't last too long.

"You know, maybe you should give her a chance." Andre said. Well, of course he said that, he was like in love with her. "I mean, you both might be more alike than you think."

"What makes you say that?" I asked him. "You're with her twenty four seven now, you don't know much about me…not anymore."

"Yeah I understand that, but she's gone through some tough things in her life. I say you talk to her, and you see for yourself."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever, Andre, see you later." And with that I slammed my locker shut, and walked to class.

Sikowitz called the class to order, and then began to talk about how we should all talk about how 9/11 had affected us. But instead of doing it in class, we were going to get in groups and talk about it…or more like pair up.

And instead of pairing me up with my boyfriend or my best friend, he paired me up with fucking Vega.

"Uhm." I raised my hand. "Can I ask why we're doing this a week after?"

"We had lots to do, and now we're on this. I wanted to do this around the time more, but since we didn't get the chance, now is the chance, and instead of ignoring it, we're going to take it! Kapeesh?"

I bit my lip, my dad always used to say that to me.

"Uhm, yeah…sure." I looked around for a second, feeling the tears come. I picked up my bag, "I uhm…I have to go." I picked up my bag and ran out of the classroom. I ran until I was far enough away, that I knew Sikowitz wouldn't come after me.

I leaned against the locker and cried for a few minutes. Then I opened my eyes to see Tori standing over me.

"What?"

"Are you okay?" She asked, sitting down next to me. "Did what Sikowitz said offend you?"

I blinked, "Uhm, no." I wiped away my tears so it wouldn't blur my vision anymore. "I'm just…emotional about it, that's all."

"But, why?" She asked me.

I was going to tell her, I really was, but instead, I just stood up, and straightened out my appearance. Instead of answering her question, I just walked away.

I turned to look at her for a second, to see she had angrily stood up, "You know Jade, you're not the only one who lost someone!" She yelled, "You need to talk and open up! Not keep it bottled inside!"

I had stopped for a moment, but instead of turning to talk to her, I just walked out.

A day later, I went to my usual appointment with my therapist. She talked to me a lot about my issues…especially my dad's death. But that day, for some reason, I didn't feel like talking. I just wanted to go home.

"Look, I know you're feeling down today. I mean, the day just passed about a week ago…so here, I want to give you something." She stood up, and walked to her desk, handing me a pamphlet. "This is a therapy group. It meets Tuesdays and Thursdays…and I think you should go."

"But that's tomorrow." I said, "I have to—" I stopped, I had nothing to do tomorrow, except meet with fucking Vega. "Fine, I'll go." I said leaning back in my seat. "Whatever."

"I think it will be good for you, to talk to others who were affected in this tragedy." She said. "It'll be good for you to open up. And if you don't like it, you come back and give me all the shit you want for it."

I smiled at that, "Deal."

So that's where I was right now…about to walk into this therapy session to talk to others about my feelings. Except right now, I was in Beck's car, my hands in my knees, sweating as I decided whether or not I should go in.

"I don't think I want to do it." I said.

"I think you should." He told me, looking at me as his arm was hanging on the wheel (so cute). "It'll be good for you Jade, Cat and I can't always be the ones you talk to when you're feeling sad. I mean, we're more than happy to be there, and we always will be no matter what, but you need to talk to others who went through what you did. It'll help."

"It's been ten years, Beck." I looked at him. "Why am I not over it yet?"

He shrugged, looking behind me at the building. "There's only one way to find out." He told me, cupping my face in his hands. He kissed me gently, and leaned his forehead against mine. "I'll see you when you get out, okay? I won't leave until you're finished."

"It's two hours." I told him.

He shrugged, "I've got nothing else to do. I'll sleep."

I laughed and kissed him again, smiling against his lips. Then I kissed him one more time, and got out of the car. I turned to look behind me, to see him smile. He winked at me, and instantly, I felt a lot better. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door, and stepped inside walking down the hallway until I reached the door I needed to open to get inside.

I took another deep breath, thinking about how Beck was right outside and would be until I was finished. I opened the door and stepped inside, about ten heads looked at me, except one.

"Hello." An older man said, he stood up. "Can I help you?"

"I'm uhm, Jade. I was referred here by my therapist…to talk about how…this affected me or whatever it is, I'm here to do." I shrugged.

He smiled at me, "Why yes, of course. Welcome. I'm Gary, your counselor. Please come take a seat." I looked around and slowly walked to the empty seat in the middle, next to a familiar looking medium brown hair girl who had her head down.

"Uhm, okay." I said. I turned to her, "You know you look—"

And then she looked at me, and my eyes widened. I couldn't believe it…she was here too!

"Hi, Jade."

"Tori! What the hell are you doing here?"

She looked behind here, and I noticed that with her, was her older sister, Trina. I blinked and sat back.

"Okay, what's going on here?"

"I tried to tell you, Jade." Tori whispered, "But you ran off."

"Tell me what? That you're both here to make fun of me because you found out?" I stood up angrily, "What kind of person does that!"

"No!" Tori yelled, "If I was, why the hell would my sister be here too?"

I didn't answer; she had a good point.

"I'm here, because I also lost someone that day."

"Oh yeah? I challenged. "Who?"

"My father." She said.

"What? No! I met your father! You're lying!"

"No, Jade." Trina spoke, her voice cracking as she did. "She's not lying, she's telling the truth."

"No, I know it was your father…you even said it was!"

"No, you met my stepfather. My real father died in the attacks. In fact," she stepped closer. "He was in the meeting with your father when it happened."

And that's when I closed my eyes, and everything went black.