Rose studied her reflection in the mirror. The woman that stared back was nothing like the girl who had climbed aboard that ship of wonders six months ago. Everything that could change between that time and now seemed too. The naive glint in her blue eyes had faded. Her Mother was always scolding her to smile more often, or her fiancee, the wealthy Caledon Hockley would change his mind, and revoke the mercy he had shown her, in proceeding with the marriage, despite her many sins against the agreement she had made, when agreeing to wed him.
In hopes that her Mother's prophecy would come true, she smiled infrequently. Not permitting herself the brief memories of happiness she'd shared before her heart had turned to ice. She only allowed a thaw, on occasion, alone in her bed in the lavish manor her fiancee had purchased after arriving to America. She was under his roof, but he had not forced his way into her bedroom. Though the other invasions he had made had left her addicted to the brown bottled liquid the Doctor kept bringing her, even after the "operation".
She had agreed to his conditions, before the iceberg had changed the terms.
Cal hadn't given her many choices. His bodyguard, ever the faithful servant had found Rose and Jack as they held each other, post coitus in the automobile where they had finally consummated their love. They were ripped apart, and it was with anguish she recalled with startling clarity, Jack's face contorted as he called her name, as they were separated for the last time.
She had been led to her own quarters, been told to dress in something appropriate and after what felt like an eternity of waiting, it hadn't been Cal that joined her, but instead that of her mother, looking more frail and drawn then she could remember since the day of her Father's funeral. She would have preferred Cal's slaps to the horror and disapproval on her Mother's face. After a moment of silence, her words cut the silence of the room like a knife.
"You have shamed me, Rose. You have acted worse then a common strumpet, and the only comfort I have in this entire situation is that your Father wasn't alive to see you throw our futures away. " Her Mother's voice shook, and at the end of her tirade, her hand moved to cover her mouth, tears feeling the cold blue eyes her daughter had inherited.
"Thankfully, God has been kind, and your suitor is willing to look past this transgression, given that you spend the rest of this trip here in this room, and that boy who… attacked you, will be seen too in the lower quarters.
Rose's eyes flashed and she was on her feet in an instant. "Jack did not attack me, Mother! I love him. We're going to be married!"
And her Mother turned on her in an instant, backing her into the corner, as rage left her words shrill and uneven. "That will not be happening, Rose. There will be one marriage, to Cal Hockley. You will become his dutiful wife, and we shall all endeavor to put this unfortunate chapter of your life behind us. If not, your Mr. Dawson will find himself at the bottom of the ocean, before this trip is completed. Of that I have every assurance. If you want him to live, you will agree to this arrangement. Otherwise, he will die, and we will arrive in America with only our luggage, and your whorish ways to see us through."
Her promises of Jack's fate should she disagree, and the picture her Mother painted of her future, not nearly as lovely as the image that Jack had drawn of her, struck her. With her face ashen, and her hand at her throat, she whispered. "Yes, Mother. I will do as you say." She remembered the feeling of nearly choking on her own words, as she sealed her own fate.
The impact of the Titanic on the iceberg that destroyed her was remembered like a terrible dream. The screams, and the fighting, her attempts to locate Jack before she was caught. She was placed with her Mother and due to her hysterical outburst, and screams down the corridor when she had realized the danger he was in, even her maid Trudy had been allowed into the lifeboat, and with Trudy's surprisingly strong arms, and the help of the other women in the boat including Molly Brown, Rose was administered a rather large dose of morphine, effectively sedating her.
She had brief recollections of the men of the Carpathia bringing her and the other survivors on board. Her clearest memory was of the reunion with Cal. He had embraced her, and kissed her forehead, his voice sharp.
"Good. All the fuss you put up, I thought perhaps I had lost you as well as the other item of value that were on the ship. I hate to see my things sullied."
The months that followed, were the worst of her life. She had been ill upon arriving in Philadelphia. Originally it had been brushed off, as something to do with the exposure she and so many other survivors had been subjected too. As her nausea continued and her body began to change, her mothers suspicions grew. It was with a home visit from a Doctor Sheffield that her fears were confirmed.
Rose was not notified, until after the procedure had been performed. Cal would not allow the seed of another man grow within his wife, and she had been anesthetized before a word was spoken of her condition to her, or even her Mother. Cal had been informed, and as her Husband to Be, he made the choice for her. One he knew she never would have consented to her of her own volition.
He came to see her when she had awoke, in pain, and in a haze from the medicine she had been given. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and took her hand, studying her for a moment before saying.
"There was a defect. Something was growing, that was impossible for my virginal bride. It has been taken care of, and the Doctor assures me your womb will be ready for a legitimate child, after our wedding. Rest, now. The Doctor has ordered it." He kissed her forehead, not without fondness, and he left her to her despair.
Her only comforts in the weeks after that had been the medicine the Doctor only too willingly supplied, and her maid, Trudy, who had seen her through the surgery and after. Her breath had come to smell of the medicinal liquid she had been provided, she encouraged Trudy to mix it in her water, and her tea. She also drank any alcohol that Cal deemed fit to offer her. Her knew found dependance on opiods did not concern him. If anything, it had seemed to tame her a little, and he appreciated that. All the same, he had plans for her. No one slighted him. Not in business, and certainly not in life. He had taken care of her little problem, but she had much still to prove, and after she was his bride he intended to explore the darker side of himself, and if it happened to be at her expense, that was acceptable. After all, she had wronged him. He had done her a favor by accepting her back into his life, but forgiveness was not something he never grasped the concept of.
Rose jumped a little when the door opened and closed behind her, she turned to see her Mother, dressed in an expensive velvet gown, the deepest shade of velvet. Returning her attention to the mirror, not saying a word to the woman who had led her down this terrible path. Ruth clucked with disapproval, at the silence, and moved to take the veil from Trudy who had been just ready to secure it in place.
"It is your wedding, Rose. Surely you could muster a smile? There will be photographers, and I have it on good account, that the paper is hoping to do a section entirely devoted to your wedding. It is lavish downstairs, truly lovely. Like a wedding out of a fairy dream. You should be thrilled. Think of your future. Secured. We can put all of that bad business behind us, you are going to be a very wealthy and powerful woman, Rose. " She secured the veil with ease, pushing the diamond bobbypins in without care to the scalp below it, and adding under her breath. "And if you should do anything to shame me again, or worse, your Husband, you'll wish you'd gone down with that ship."
She stared at her Mother through the gossamer of the veil and murmured darkly. "I all ready wish that, Mother. More then you can possibly know."
Ruth's hands tightened around her daughters shoulder, the cream colored dress below her grasp the only sign at all that not everything was as it should be. Cal had refused for Rose to wear white. Had laughed, scoffing at the idea when the seamstress had come to measure her, and showed him the choices of cloth and colors. Her voice was sharp as she retorted.
"You will stop that whining this instant! I did not raise a fool, Rose, and though your Father spoiled you terribly, I know beneath that is steel. Pull yourself together, and enjoy yourself, regardless of your true feelings. You've certainly enough life experience to draw on now, to know that the world never goes the way you wish it would. You will do as you are told, and you will rise to the occasion, and you will face your new husband with a smile. You will give me legitimate grandchildren for me to coddle, and you will find something to turn your attentions to, so you are not a sniveling bore. You will not embarrass any of us with this behavior any longer. You are no longer a child, and you will begin to act like a lady!"
She closed her eyes, but listened to her Mother's words. Latching on to the part about finding something to turn her attentions too. Something to love. Something to do, that gave her a reason. She considered it, and managed a little nod, murmuring quietly.
"Yes, Mother. I understand."
The rage in the older womans face quelled and her expression softened.
"Well, thank Heaven for that. Now let's get you married. "
Rose turned, giving one last glance around the preparation room of the Cathedral Cal had chosen, the same Catholic church he had been raised in. The preparation room was as lovely as all of the other rooms she had found herself in, stained glass windows with images of the Bible depicted in painstaking detail.
She paused, one catching her eye in particular. It was the image of the Madonna, holding her child. The colors were bright, the face of the Mother serene, and that of the blonde-locked toddler Jesus merry with happiness. She was in tears before thoughts could begin to trouble her emotions further. Trudy hurried to her side after opening the door, Ruth going though it quickly, so she could be guided to her seat in the charade that was this ceremony.
Rose took a moment to settle her emotions, grateful for the embrace of her trusty maid. The only one she could go to with her terrible thoughts, and feelings, and who would give her something to drink that always made her feel much better. This time was no different, and Trudy produced a small cup of water, clearly mixed with the usual offering, murmuring lightly. "Jus' a lil' miss, to help you get through."
Rose gave her a grateful half smile and downed the cup, grateful for the haze that followed, as if her riled nerves were veiled, like she was as she made her way down the long aisle, following the blonde haired niece of Cal, as she through white petals down the path. Rose walked down that path, ignoring the faces of his friends and family. Few of her own relations had attended, but a few of those, who were better off, her Mother's cousins, the Fenways, for instance, had arrived just in time that morning to witness her nuptials.
The echoing organ accompanied her as she approached her groom, gripping onto the fall flowers that had been gathered for her bouquet for dear life. Slowly raising her eyes to his, and forcing a smile that didn't meet her eyes, as the Priest began to drone on. The affair an arduous task of kneeling and rising, and kneeling and rising, and Latin chanting, that lasted nearly three hours.
To her displeasure, no one saw any reason not to join her and Mr. Hockley in Holy Matrimoney, and before she knew what had happened, she had muttered her "I Do's" and he had kissed her before the congregation, and the announcement that followed snuffed out her dreams of ever being a Dawson, how they had existed beyond the death of her beloved was also unanswered. The syllables forming words, and crashing like nails into a coffin.
"I now present Mr. and Mrs. Caledon Hockley."
