The scratching in his head was offered a surge of happiness, though the invitation was spurned by the tossing and turning as he ruffled the coarse blanket; lying to himself that a peaceful slumber would soon take him away. He gripped the sheets tighter as he fought the inept of sleep, the soft grunts of his German alliance registering with him and alerting him to shuffle away. The norm every night now was for the suffering male to sneak up in his room, attempt to sleep in his bed and get kicked out a few times before he successfully was able to sleep in the familiar safety that he rely on.
Though the comfort of that same feeling seemed to be absent, he glanced back at his ally – ceasing his hand from making contact with his hair, the desire of running his fingers through it and admiring him all too much. He swung his spindly legs over the bed, a slight shaking starting to control his figure. He slowly stepped over to peer out the window, the coolness of the glass pressing on his hand relaxing. Tonight was one of the few immaculate nights, myriad stars dancing within the inky mantle blending in the sky and withheld the bright moon - he patiently waited for the clouds to succumb to its light as they would surpass in time.
He lingered by the glass pane as he watched the night slip by his finger tips, the light dragging over the man still asleep; his features clear, the occasional nose twitch and a heavy knot between his brows. He slept like a soldier, his legs and arms extended by his side – Feliciano came to the conclusion that he couldn't possibly be comfortable, but the German was stubborn and would pay no heed to his efforts in helping him. Ludwig was his best friend and ally and he cared only for his well-being; even if his physical punishments only installed fear into his shaken struck body. He balled his fist and let it relax, twisting his wrist round to scan over his entire hand. He'd lived for so many years, he forgot what it was like to feel real.
Feliciano was always that person who you'd find agitating, clawing at your face wishing he'd stop the constant nagging; at least that's the impression he gathered from his other fellow personifications. In reality, he was trying to be that one person who'd smile through it all and for him it was an easy feat. He'd been through so much already, he didn't know what happiness meant – but he knew what it meant to others. He was a weak nation, spent all his effort into helping his peers that he left none for himself; Ludwig spent all his time endeavouring at making him stronger but alas nothing had been successful as of yet.
He cracked the window open, the biting winds of the outside numbing his skin but it had no effect on the warm tears of his past mimicking rain as they stained his eyes. The soft cries of pain lost within the night, cupping his own face as a clumsy attempt at salvaging any broken parts of himself – it wasn't of any use. A loud thump vibrated through the house, dropping to his knees and slumping against the wall; shaking violently as his shirt rode up his stomach. Claws scratching at the floorboards soon made themselves clear when a large German Shepard emerged through the door with a soft creak, making his way toward the crying subject. He was a grand dog at that, but held empathy for the man, pushing his muzzle up to him and resting his head under his chin. Feliciano ran a hand down his fur, his tears still blatantly refusing to stop.
"H-Hello Blackie..." Blackie gave a grunt in return, licking his face clean of tears. He giggled softly watching the Dog's ears twitch madly from the grunts of Ludwig who soon sat up, a sharp gasp capturing Feliciano quickly. He tried to stay secluded but the contour of both him and the animal was too obvious to disregard, Ludwig soon making his way toward them both with a heavily confused expression.
"Feliciano," He said, "What are you doing?"
He found that that was nearly impossible to answer, the words slipping from his mouth as he couldn't assemble a simple sentence.
"Feliciano, answer me."
"Nothing."
"Then why are you crying?"
He sniffled and rested his face within Blackie's coat, feeling the comforting velvety collar around his neck. Though he soon lost that privilege as he was called away and out the room, yellow light swarming the very same room when Ludwig turned the light on and crouched in front of him. Feliciano pulled his large shirt down over himself, hanging his head. That rebel curl jutting from his head had been twisting and twitching in agony as it matched his pain, clutching the area near his heart as the sobs rolled harder and faster. The blonde sat on the ground and rested a hand on one of the whimpering Italian's legs; the cryptic look replaced with concern. He didn't quite capture what sort of incoherent speakings Feliciano had uttered between his hurt, waiting for him to calm down.
.
It was long into the night, he had eventually heaved his head up to look back at Ludwig – the pain clear and shrouding his eyes in the rarity that they were ever open.
"I'm not good enough anymore, am I Ludwig?" The question had caught him off, he had no idea what he was implying by it but he shook his head.
"Of course you're good enough, what in the world are you on about?"
He could hear the soft scraping as Feliciano dug his nails further into the crooks of the wood, hissing slightly at his response.
"I'm not good enough for you, I'm not good enough for anybody...not even myself." He mustered a large, sharp breath and let it linger as a sigh. Ludwig's entire face twitching into shock,
"Please don't think like tha-"
"Stop. Just stop. I'm never good enough, and I never will be. I'm nothing but dead-weight, let me go."
"No."
"Let me go! You don't need me!"
"I need you as much as you need me, that's not in question."
Feliciano soon had cried long into the night, at the crack of dawn was he finally capable of getting himself to his feet.
I wish the outcome of this could've turned out like the other, I just felt like it was too cliche! Plus this related to me more and I like to explore Feliciano's character, so hope you enjoy!
(The next chapter is the old version of this story. It needs to be burned.)
