Superhero diaries
Superman
Dear diary,
You know why I wear red underwear on my suit, to deal with my uncontrollable diarrhea. I have to put butt freshener so the league doesn't notice and I try to hide it from Lois but she smells it sometimes. I've had a few close calls over the years with the league like when doomsday almost ripped my underwear, the league was so close to seeing all this poop falling out of my suit but they didn't and I am thankful for that.
I am so jealous of batman, he always gets the lady's and I don't know how he does it. One day I dressed up all goth like in the watchtower all day and like all the girls were avoiding me and all the guys we like "Hey superman, you trying to me like batman, you jelly of him". I got really annoyed and changed into my other costume. I really had to go take a dump in my underwear. This whole thing with Batman and his catch phrase is really stupid like, "I'm Batman." It's just saying that he's batman like why does everyone like him, he's all goth and stuff and I think he has something against me cause he always carries around a piece of kryptonite in his belt.
Speaking of belts, I really need one, the other day my pants almost fell down in the daily bugle. Oh my god that was the scariest moment of the year, just saying all the Supervillans that are supposed to be scary are kinda the same because they basically look like batman that's why they aren't scary.
Yesterday I heard Supergirl and all her friends talking with such slang like what does OMG even mean, orange mint gum like I didn't even know they sold those. So I don't really don't know how to end a diary entry so like ya and I guess it's over and I'm gonna go break into Batman's lair so I can find out what makes him more attractive.
