Disclaimer: IOOMOC

J.L.: Alright, most of you are loyal readers of mine, and to the new ones, well, you don't have to know the material, but it does help. Anyways, I've been working with an idea since I first started Re:high:eR. I put some comedy into my fanfics, but I never really go for straight out comedy. Here's my solution. Take a scene, mess with it, and viola, parody and laughs. I will be taking requests in addition to the ones I put up. So far, I have this chapter planned out, and the next. Have fun, and remember, I am taking requests. Also, I think I'll go with a different format.

To: J.L. Zielesch

From: Chris Redfield; Leon Kennedy; Carlos Olivera; Billy Coen;

Body: We request to see the girls in something a bit more spicy. I.E. Biohazard 3 J. Valentine's wardrobe.

RE: Alright, but they're getting a copy of this memo.

Introducing RE-spice!

"You have to be kidding me, honestly, I can't fake a british accent!" Claire spat. I stood there as five pairs of eyes were set on me.

"Look, just this once, honestly. I swear I'll make the boys do whatever you want." I spoke. While Jill and Claire groaned, the wheels in Ada's head worked like clockwork. Rebecca and Ashley had taken to sitting on the ground in defeat.

"Alright J.L., but give us a few months to work out every detail of revenge." Ada spoke. Jill and Claire reached an agreement with her.

"Okay, take your places, and trust me, you will need those guns..." I spoke, re-adjusting my sunglasses and stepping unto the platform with the camera that proceeded to raise up above the girls.

"I think it'll be great acting as Baby." Ashley spoke.

"Suit yourself." Ada grumbled as the platform locked into place.

"You're just angry that you got Sporty." Rebecca pointed out.

"Why was that?" Ada acused.

"Well, for one, you aren't exactly the most reliable person, so we gave you whatever was last. That and no one else here can really do a backflip." Claire explained, eyeing Ada.

"Jill can." Ashley offered. I smirked as I stepped over to the control panel. My finger rested on the big red button as my hand went to the music's control.

"Well...actually, that was Chris back at the Russian facility...I just jump rolled through the laser." Jill replied. I started the big beat sound and the girls moved into position. Claire stepped to the front, tapping her foot to the music.

"You just walk in, I make you smile. It's cool but you don't even know me." Claire sang gently, resting her hand on her hip.

"You take an inch, I run a mile. Can't win, you're always right behind me." Ada sang, stepping forward. I grinned as my finger lightly traced the big red button on the console. I'm going to make this interesting.

"And we know that you could go and find some other. Take or leave it or just don't even bother." Ashley sang as she stepped forward, Claire and Ada rolling their eyes. All three of them after Leon...Jill sighed and walked up, her arm pushing her hair back behind her ear.

"Caught in a craze...it's just a phase, or will this be around forever?" She sang, in the only line she gets through out the whole song. Really, it's the other girls who need to impress the boys.

"Don't you know it's going to fast. Racing so hard you know it won't last." All of them sang as Rebecca stepped up. I pushed the button in, and the doors holding the zombies opened. The girls shot a glare at me, and grabbed for their guns except Ashley, who hid behind Ada.

"Just keep singing. They want spicy, give it to them!" I shouted above the music.

"Don't you know...what, can't you see?" Rebecca sang out, plugging a slug from her shotgun into the first undead.

"Slow it down, read the sign, so you know just where you're going!" Ada sang out as she backflip kicked a zombie's head off.

"Stop right now, thank you very much, I need somebody with the human touch-" They all sang, Jill switching her targets just as they dropped, smirking at the irony of the words.

"Hey you always on the run, Gotta slow if down baby, gotta have some fun-" They continued, Ashley running for the nearest building and locking the door. Rebecca and Claire exchange a quick smirk with each other.

Do do do do-do do do do-do do do... always be together, Ba da ba ba-ba da ba ba-ba da ba... stay that way forever." The remaining 'spice' girls sang out, Ada dropping the last zombie. Stage one complete...now, stage two...they are so going to kill me for this. I flicked a switch and the house that Ashley had been cowering in fell down around her.

"And we know that you could go and find some other, Take or leave it 'cause we've always got each other." Ashley sang out, and I nodded at her ability to not completely panic. Ada pushed Ashley aside though.

"You know who you are and yes, you're gonna breakdown, You're crossed the line so you're gonna have to turn around." Ada spoke threateningly into the camera. Leon's going to suffer for this one. Jill, Rebecca and Claire casually walked up into the camera view behind Ada.

"Don't you know it's going to fast, racing so hard you know it won't last-" The three sang out. Rebecca stepped foreward, reloading her ammo.

"Don't you know, what can't you see?" She sang, as I pressed the button for round two.

"Slow it down, read the sign so you know just where you're going!" Ada sang as the crimson heads ran towards them.

"Stop right now, thank you very much, I need somebody with the human touch, Hey you always on the run, Gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun." All of them sang out as Ashley and Rebecca pushed over one of the prop housing walls to crush the crimson heads while the other three covered for them.

"Gotta keep it down honey, lay your back on the line 'Cause I don't care about the money, Don't be wasting my time, You need less speed, get off my case-" They continued to sing as the numbers dwindled, along with their ammo. I pressed another button on the console and a rocket launcher popped up near Jill.

"You gotta slow it down baby, just get out of my face!" The girls all yelled out as Jill blew a hole in the pack of remaining Crimson heads.

Minutes later

I lowered the platform to the five girls, huffing and out of breath, but otherwise unharmed. Jill and Claire were sitting on the ground, perhaps the only clean patch of ground. Rebecca was bent over, her hands on her knees. Ada was smoothing out her dress. Ashley was pissed.

"So...how do you guys plan on getting the guys back?" I asked. Rebecca pulled a blackberry from her back pocket, with Jill and Claire joining in to look at it.

"It depends on who Leon chooses." Ashley answered.

"No freaking way Jill, I don't want to see my brother naked." Claire argued in the private conversation going on. Ada flicked her eyes at Ashley.

"Depends on who Leon chooses? Are you seriously going to let a man make your choices for you?" Ada questioned.

"Oh isn't that the pot calling the kettle black!?" Ashley accused. I started rubbing my temples.

"Girls, girls, focus. You just kicked some major ass in little gucci dresses and suits so that the boys can have their fun-" I started.

"That would work...except for Chris." Rebecca spoke.

"Then let's use that for the guys, but find something else for Chris...I have a feeling he was the one in charge." Jill replied. Claire smirked widely suddenly, and the other two had matching grins.

"Let me see that." I asked, and sure enough, I was on the ground clutching my sides.

A week later

"Shoes...shoes...shoes...oh my god shoes!" Chris sang, dressed in a perfect Kelly impersonization, with the other guys wearing tighty whiteys and sailor hats. The girls were right behind me, laughing as hard as I was.

J.L.: Yeah, that's right, I put myself as the viewpoint for this. I figured that since I do see so many fanfics with OC's in them, why not follow that trend? Voiding out my ususal answer to that (Because it takes the focus off the actual characters, and in extreme cases makes the fanfics turn into original stories with cameos by the characters.) with a simple 'This is my freaking parody fanfic of my own works, I should be able to basturdize this however I want!' response. Anyways, I'll try to update as I go with this, and do leave requests, I'll fulfill any request. I do have a few ideas of my own already (bloopers from Re:high:eR anyone? Like the infamous ice breaking scene with Jill and Chris?) and the one tenticle porn out of Shakesphere's ass should be the next chapter (I'll label each chapter with the main parody subject for your eyes to be safe.).