Title: Savior
Part 1 of 1
Genre: Romance, Drama
Rating: T
World Count: 1,348
Characters: Kala, Wolfgang
Summary: He'd painstakingly avoided all things that made him think of her big, soulful eyes and he'd failed. She should have known better than to let her mind stray for just a moment because she knew immediately she was doomed. There was a flicker in her consciousness and then she was aware of his presence in the room—a presence Rajan was completely unaware of, a presence that was really only in her mind. A presence she would never shake, and a presence he would always feel guilty for.
A/N: So, I watched the whole first season in a weekend and it was incredible and I can't wait for more. Since the first moment that a connection between Kala and Wolfgang was event hinted at, I was hooked. I adore them, and so, to help me deal with the finale and not knowing when we'll get season 2, I wrote this little oneshot.
It takes place after the finale, so spoilers for that if you haven't seen it. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Sense8 or any of it's characters. The lyrics referenced are from the song "Savior" by Rise Against, I do not own these either.
So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have
He had been so careful, so fucking careful not to think about her. He'd painstakingly avoided all things that made him think of her big, soulful eyes or the wisps of curly hair that framed her face.
And he'd failed, he knew it immediately as the rain began to pour on the street as he walked back to his flat and for a moment his mind flickered to strong coffee, and the balmy air of her home country and words of gravity.
She should have known better than to let her mind stray for just a moment because she knew immediately she was doomed. There was a flicker in her consciousness and then she was aware of his presence in the room—a presence Rajan was completely unaware of, a presence that was really only in her mind.
Wolfgang was going to leave because the sight of her sitting at a table across from Rajan, two cups of chai on the table between them, was almost too much without even hearing what Kala had been in the middle of saying.
She'd stopped short as soon as she realized he was visiting in on her world.
Rajan looked at her imploringly, waiting patiently for her to continue, understanding the conversation they were having held a gravity to it that would forever change their futures.
She swallowed, but didn't allow her eyes to move over to where she knew Wolfgang was standing.
He turned to leave, he didn't want to hear her admission that she wanted to go through with the wedding, his heart couldn't take the words—the destiny that he may have set into motion in a moment of selfless self-loathing.
It was for the best, she deserved a simple life with a good man who did not have a monster haunting him and clawing at his soul. She deserved something that radiated life and happiness, not blood and hatred.
He would never forget the look on her face after she watched him murder Sergey.
"Rajan, I cannot marry you."
Wolfgang froze, his shoulders tensing with her sudden words and at the same time, his heart beat with relief.
Rajan seemed at a loss for words as silence throbbed through the room.
"Is it because of my father?"
She tilted her head slightly, grinding her teeth, "yes and no."
Rajan's brows furrowed, Wolfgang did not dare turn around and see her face and admit to himself that hope was swelling in his chest. His guilt immediately pushed the fragile hope away, burying it beneath the darkness that enshrouded him.
"Your father only spoke of something that was already troubling me, but I had doubts even before then, if I am to be truly honest with you. You are a wonderful man, Rajan, any woman would be lucky to have you for a husband, but I," she paused and Wolfgang felt her eyes bore into his back, "I do not love you."
Shock washed over Rajan as all the beliefs he'd held for the past months of their courtship and engagment fell to pieces. Kala did not love him, she was not marrying him for love. It all became suddenly clear to him. Her hesistation that he mistook as shyness and inexperience, her standoffish behavior that he thought of as her independence. She was marrying him out of obligation, because her family told her she was lucky to have him as a husband, because the astrologists said they were a good match, because it was expected of her.
She was not marrying him because she wanted to. She felt trapped by duty and relief, because she knew it could be worse, she could be arranged to marry a man far worse than Rajan-a man who did not care for her emotions.
Rajan sighed and Kala remained silent, her teeth biting into her lip and Wolfgang felt the mix of relief and uncertainty that swirled inside her and he wondered what the other members of their cluster were feeling at this moment.
"Kala," Rajan began, "it is all right."
Wolfgang heard the relieved rush of air that exited her lungs and couldn't deny that an equally relieved exhalation left his mouth.
"I'm so sorry." She apologized and he waved the words away with a benign smile.
"Just, tell me one thing," Rajan implored, eyebrows furrowed as he raised his eyes to meet hers, placing one of his hands atop hers on the table between them, his other hand wrapped loosely around his mug of chai tea.
"Anything." She responded quickly, wanting to assuage any hurt she'd caused.
"Is there another?" He asked.
"Another?" She echoed, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, not comprehending the question. Wolfgang understood immediately.
"Another man? Are you in love with another?" He clarified and watched her for a reactions, waiting for an answer.
Again, Wolfgang felt her eyes stare heatedly between his shoulder blades and he waited for her answer with baited breath. Would she lie? Had her feelings changed since that day? Would she tell the truth? What was her truth?
"Yes, there is another, and not only does my heart belong to him, but my mind and soul."
Wolfgang turned and their eyes met for a brief moment before her gaze shifted to Rajan.
"Then, I feel your decision is the right one. I only want your happiness, Kala, and I am only disappointed that I cannot be the man to give you that happiness."
She didn't try to reassure him, or spare his feelings, she did not give him false words or hollow appeasements. She remained silent, pressing her lips together.
"I will tell my father," Rajan said with a nod.
"And I will tell mine," she added.
After a moment, Rajan leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before he stood and left the room with faint farewell.
They were alone, for the first time since he had emptied that clip into his uncle.
"Why?" He asked after several moments of loaded silence where she stared into her mug and he stared at her.
"Why what?" She asked, lifting determined eyes to his, pushing herself to her feet, setting her tea aside. It was cold anyways.
"Why not marry him?" Wolfgang asked as he crossed the room to reach her.
"You know why."
Before any other words could leave her mouth his fingers slid into her curls, cupping the back of her head and dragging her mouth to his. He kissed her with the hunger he had felt since the moment he first saw her and she returned it with a desperation that had hidden beneath her fear and shock.
He broke the kiss, but did not pull away. He kept his lips brushing against hers, his fingers flexing in her thick hair, her hands wrapped into his leather jacket.
"I'm in love with you," he whispered gruffly against her mouth before catching her gasp in a ragged kiss.
She pushed him back a moment after and locked their eyes, "I love you."
Her hand flattened over his chest, above his heart and he wondered if she could feel the way it stuttered through their mental link.
"Thank you," he whispered, his forehead coming to rest against hers, his eyes squeezing shut for a brief moment.
He felt her brow furrow in confusion and he smiled slightly because her confusion made adoration swell in his chest.
"What ever for?"
"For not hating what I am."
Her hands slid from his chest, up his neck to cup his face as she pulled back to look up at him. "I feel many things toward you, Wolfgang, and I have experienced many other emotions from the others in our cluster that I had never experienced before. But hatred is not an emotion I associate with you, nor will it ever be." She paused, searching his face briefly before letting their eyes meet again.
Something inside of him was cracking and he knew everyone else could feel it.
"You're not a monster." She added resolutely.
His hands shook as they swept up her back and pulled her into his chest. He tucked his face into her hair and breathed in her scent—spices and incense with a hint of jasmine. A scent he now associated with home and warmth and love.
"I love you," he murmured against her skin over and over and over until it was a litany and a prayer and a creed he vowed to live by for the rest of his life.
He lived to protect her. He lived to love her.
One thousand miles away
There's nothing left to say
But so much left that I don't know
We never had a choice
This world is too much noise
It takes me under
It takes me under once again
I don't hate you
I don't hate you, no
Drop a review? Thanks for reading! xo
