DISCLAIMER: We do NOT own Supernatural. OR the Poem by Robert Desnos! -I suggest you check it out, It's called 'I have Dreamed of you so much'
A/N: Italic Font = memory, past dream, or thought. Bold font = present dream.
Stay With Me a Little Longer
Forbidden. Love .21 & Elm Treigh
Chapter One
The clock ticked the time away in the background. Each tick a minute closer to daylight. She sat in her bed, waiting, watching, and needing him to come. Longing to see his face, his eyes, his smile. Wanting him.
She looked out her bay window, watching the storm thunder outside, the rain pouring harshly on the roofs of the homes, no doubt frightening the children in her neighborhood, but strangely soothing to her. The only other thing to achieve that was him. What was it about her dream boy that kept her coming back to this place? To this bittersweet heartache that she couldn't get enough of?
A flash of lightening illuminated the dark room; making it seem more lonely to her. She sighed. Her pale delicate hand brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. She wished it was him that stroked the strand behind her ear, caressing her cheek, and gazing into her eyes. Their connection bounding them in place.
She closed her eyes, inviting the Sandman to sprinkle his sleeping dust upon her so that she may fall asleep soon and see him.
She knew in her heart it was foolish to wait around in the dark amidst a storm that ran anticipating shivers down her spine for someone that would never come. Yet, there she sat comfortably and restlessly on her bed, her legs covered, stroking the thin sterling silver chain bracelet her mother gave her just as she has for the past so many odd years. Waiting.
She smiled reminiscing the first time he filled her dreams. Their first encounter. The first time she saw him and his eyes. She could remember it like it were yesterday.
"I have a brother now."
Her four year old self turned around at the sound of his voice, away from the lake she was lost in, and saw a little boy around her age. Happiness filled his green eyes that she thought were as pretty as sea glass. His brown hair was messy. His clothes were like most boys his age; messy, covered in dirt with grass stains on his knees. She, on the other hand, was wearing a beautiful white and red dress. Her normally long wavy brown hair in a neat French braid. Her hazel eyes shining with joy from playing in the park, albeit herself.
She wasn't surprised he was talking to her or that he was there at all. After all, this was her dream. She brought him there, to her dream park. She wanted someone to play with. She wanted someone to enjoy the playground with her and swing her on the swings, join her on the see-saw, and slides. She wanted someone to skip rocks with her on the clear blue lake. She might have expected to see a little girl instead of a boy, but... There was something about this boy. She found herself already drawn to him.
She gave him a bright smile. "Really?" She replied, her own excitement over the news evident. She had always wanted a little sister, so she knew how lucky this boy was.
The little boy nodded, overjoyed. "He's this big now!" He exclaimed, stretching out his arms before him to an exaggerated minuscule length. "His name is Samuel. Like Grandpa!" His grin widened with excitement; his eyes twinkling.
The petite girl in the red and white dress smiled at him. Her excitement mirrored the boy with the eyes she could lose herself in. His smile didn't falter as they gazed into one another's eyes. He looked around to distract himself and spotted the swing set.
"I'll push you on the swings if you'll push me too," He offered.
The little girl stared at the swings then back at the boy. She nodded. "I'll race you?" She smiled.
The boy agreed, his competitive nature already taking over. "One... Two..." And before he said, "Three!" He sprinted toward the swings, laughing.
The small girl's eyes widened with surprise. "Hey! You cheated!" She ran after him, laughing despite of it. She could hear his laughter rise an octave and all she could think of was how nice his laugh was and what a nice smile he had.
"I'm Savannah Dering," She said when she reached him.
"Dean Winchester."
It was in that moment of childhood innocence that a friendship began. A friendship that would seal their entwined fate, and forever bind them together.
It was in that memory that the Sandman finally paid Savannah a visit and with a grin on her face, slumber took her to where she had longed to go to all day.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Dean rolled over in his bed, burying his head in the uncomfortable, scratchy, motel pillow. I should start using my own pillow. Another sleepless night for the eldest Winchester as he waited for Sam to come back from wherever it was he left to.
Sam had, once again, sneaked out in the middle of the night when he thought Dean was sound asleep. But Dean was far from asleep. He was wide awake, pretending slumber had taken over, listening to every movement Sam was making as he was preparing to leave. Again.
Dean knew his brother had gotten himself involved in things that scared the shit out of him. Things that he should have stayed clear from. Like Ruby. He knew that Ruby was a lying, manipulative, bitch and that his little brother fell for her. Dean didn't care if the Demon bitch saved his life a few times or that she watched out for Sam while he was gone. She managed to gain Sam's trust and possibly his heart too and that scared Dean more than anything in Hell ever could.
One thing is to give your trust to someone, or thing. Another is to willingly give your emotions to that someone, or thing. Love can always cloud a persons judgment. Dean knew that. He's made his fair share of mistakes for his love for his sibling. Mistakes that he'd probably make again had he had a choice to change them. But Sam was trusting a Demon. A Demon.
He was losing his brother. His baby brother he'd given everything to. The one he's looked out for since infancy. The one he fed, clothed, played, taught. He gave his life for him! His soul! Literally. He's done so much for Sam and he was slipping through his fingers.
Then there was her. The one with the enticing hazel eyes. Eyes that held knowledge of the world and a compassionate understanding not found in others. Eyes that had been haunting his dreams since childhood. He took a deep shaky breath, reminding himself to exhale as an anticipating shiver ran down his spine.
He didn't know why he dreamt of her every night. Why she was always there for him no matter how bad things had gotten. No matter how scared Dean was and the mask he'd wear to hide it. She could always see right through it. One look into his eyes was all it took and she'd just know. He remembered the first time that happened.
Dean sat under the big red oak tree, watching the white cotton-ball clouds pass him by. Each forming a shape of some sort of animal. Probably a rabbit or dog or something. He didn't pay too much attention. He was wondering whether his Mom was watching over him and Sammy; wondering if his Dad would be okay wherever it was he went to and if he'd ever be able to join his wife again, like he's wanted all these years. If he and Sammy would ever see her again.
All the thoughts that should never have been placed on a child were swimming inside his head. Fear, loss, death, fear.
He saw her walking toward him. This time she was wearing a pale yellow dress. He never understood why she always wore dresses. If this had been another time, he would mutter something under his breath about 'girls not having a clue' and point out that she was wearing, yet again, another dress, despite how pretty she always looked in them. He didn't say a word though. Not when he was too lost in his thoughts; in his worry.
When he looked up and saw her gaze had landed on his, he knew that she understood. She always understood. She didn't say anything. She didn't ask what happened or what was wrong. She didn't inquire anything of him. She just gave him a small sad smile and knelt down beside him. She never let go of his gaze as her knelt became a seat. She reached out to him and held onto him. Her arms wrapped tightly, protectively, and soothingly around him and he couldn't hold it any longer. He allowed his world to crumble around him.
Dean let out a deep growl emanating from the back of his throat. He flipped over in his bed and stared at the ceiling. The memory only caused him to wish she could be real. To wish he could feel her skin on his as he'd hold her close. To wish that her soft lips were on his and taste her. He imagined she'd taste wonderful. He could let the whole world go to Hell as long as he had her in his arms and could smell her wondrous aroma. Caress her satin skin. As long as he had her.
Dean wasn't one to share his feelings. Not even to Sam or Bobby. He didn't like people knowing his inner thoughts or feelings. Yet, with her, it seemed to complete him. He had no need to put up that ten inch shield around her. He was used to her automatically knowing how he felt that he never thought twice about putting the shield up. He allowed himself to vulnerable when she was near. She always made things better.
Dean punched the red oak tree, his face set in a grimace. He was so angry that he hadn't heard her approach.
"What do you think you're doing?" She asked him. Her voice wasn't loud or angry, just curious.
Her voice snapped Dean's attention away from his ongoing fight with the tree. He was accustomed to seeing her that he wasn't surprised to see she was wearing a white cotton dress that reached a couple of inches above her knees. Her long brown hair had lose curls in it. Her cheeks a natural rosy pink as were her lips. He couldn't remember when she had grown from the little girl to the woman before him now. Probably around the same time he grew from a little boy to a man. Still, little girl or full grown woman, she always took his breath away.
He shook his head, ridding himself of the spell she unknowingly had on him, his face still holding the pain that was eating him alive. "He's leaving."
Savannah's face softened with compassion and understanding. She took a step toward him, taking his hurt hand in hers, gently running her fingers over his reddened knuckles. "Do you always beat up poor innocent trees when you're upset?"
"Only when they're in my way."
She smiled at him, tugging on his upper arm with one hand while the other still held his injured hand. "Okay then, Rambo. How about we take a walk while the tree recovers for Round Two?"
Dean smirked at her, though it didn't reach his eyes. It wasn't the full blown smirk that he always wore. This one was forced; more weighted down by what he knew was coming. The same thing everyone outside their dream world were saying. The same empty words.
Savannah laced her arms with his as they walked in comfortable silence toward a small hill that overlooked the blue lake sparkling from the sun's rays. The lake emanating tranquility. She sat on the grass, not caring about her dress, and the possibility of grass stains. She tugged on Dean's arm, bringing him down with her to join her.
"Do you remember when my Dad left?" She asked staring at the diamonds on the water before scrutinizing Dean's reaction.
Dean recalled the memory. How could he not? It was the first and only time he had ever seen her cry hysterically. Every tear was pain. Every sharp intake of her sobs was a heartache she didn't deserve to feel. He also had a heated conversation with an unexpected tree that night, too. Though she didn't know about it. He imagined it was her father he was beating. He wanted to punish him for hurting her and making her cry.
"Yeah, I remember," He said. His voice gruff with anger and uncertainty. He was unsure if he liked where she was going with this. He didn't want her to relive something painful. But he continued on, "I told you if he didn't want to be in your life then to not bother with him ever again. That he wasn't worth your tears. He didn't deserve you anyway. But this is Sam-"
She quickly put her hand over his mouth, cutting him off before he ranted on. She stared into his eyes, waiting for him to relax. She wanted to be sure he would listen to what she had to say. Dean Winchester was a stubborn man that lived in self pity and she wanted him to hear her out.
When she felt he'd listen she said, "Dean, when my Dad left, I was broken. I couldn't understand why he wanted to leave me or Mom. I didn't understand why we weren't good enough." She shook her head at the memory, stopping the tears that threatened to moistened her eyes, then smiled at him. "Now, he's married again and I have a little sister. You know I've always wanted a little sister." Her smiled widened. "I realized he wasn't leaving me or Mom behind. He was just moving us forward, in a direction I didn't like." She looked away from him then to stare dreamily at the water. "Everything worked out for the better. It may have taken me a few years to be able to fully forgive him, but I wouldn't go back. Not now."
Dean frowned, confused. "I don't understand."
Savannah returned her gaze on him. She cupped his cheek in her hand lovingly. "Sam may be leaving, but he's not leaving you. No one could leave you. You're to beautiful of a person. The bond you share with him. It will never break."
He sighed, understanding what she was saying. He didn't think it was true, but he understood. Sammy wanted another life. One away from him and his father. Dean didn't think he'll ever get over that. Even with Savannah to fall back to.
And he hasn't. It's been years since that awful night. He's been reunited with his brother countless of times, but he couldn't shake the feeling that the bond he shared with Sam; the bond that he thought was stronger than any obsession, was slowly dissipating. He was losing Sam to an obsession and to a Demon slut that was promising she could help him achieve that obsession. Egging him on.
He rolled on his side. He needed to see Savannah. He needed her reassuring touch, her knowing eyes, her gentle smile. He needed her. He wished he could fall asleep already so that they could meet. He groaned, rolling onto his other side. He closed his eyes, relaxed his muscles, and breathed in calm rhythms; giving in to Mr. Sandman.
He opened his eyes and saw the familiar red oak tree that had been his punching bag on countless of occasions. He rubbed a hand over the indentation he's made on the poor tree over the years.
"Dean?"
Dean turned around and saw the woman that made his heart skip and his stomach knot from the first moment he saw her, though she didn't know what she did to him. He smiled at her as she ran to him, a large happy smile on her face. She plowed a fierce hug on him once she reached him. He returned her hug with a tight hug of his own. Letting her know that he needed her. He needed her comfort and reassurance. He was worried and scared and he needed her.
Savannah understood immediately. She gently pulled away from him, putting her hands on either side of his face; searching his eyes.
"Oh Dean," She said, concerned.
Dean leaned into her touch and closed his eyes, causing a stray tear to fall down his cheek. Savannah wiped it away with her thumb. She leaned upward and kissed his forehead gently before giving him another hug. It was in that moment that Dean knew that he was head over heels, story book romance, complete chick flick moment, intensely in love with Savannah Dering.
He cried openly in her arms when he realized this. He loves her and he could never have her. Hot tears streaked her lavender dress and soaked her brown wavy hair that smelled like orchids. He cried a pain of loss for his brother, for his father, and for his mother. He cried a pain of longing that would never be fulfilled. He broke down and cried.
Savannah held him close, making shushing and cooing sounds.
"It's alright, Dean. I'm here," She whispered.
A/N: Review & go Review on Elm Treigh account also :)
We'd love to hear what ya'll think of our story! Ohhh & then after your done with all the Reviewing -cause you guys are awesome- Go Read her story Ending Unplanned. It's amazing, & I bet you wont be able to get enough of it ;)
