AN: Fellow fans, I have a confession to make. I like crack. Scratch that: I love crack. I'm a great believer in twisting around what the author originally intended: exploring unexplored relationships, paying close attention to the subtext, and just plain screwing around with canon.

This fic will consist of one-shots, all pairing-centric. I'm going to try and flex my creative muscles by seeing how many pairings I can actually make work. I'm pretty sure I can think up plenty on my own, but I'd like to hear from you, too. Suggest to me any crack pairing from Warriors and I'll take my best shot at fleshing it out. Just a few little rules, though – I don't believe in slash in this section, so don't ask for it. As well, I haven't read the new Firestar novel or The Power of Three, so I can't deal with material from either book. Other than those restrictions, feel free to go crazy.

And to start us off, I've already prepared a little something. This was incredibly frustrating to write – it fought me all the way. Nevertheless, it's done, and here for your entertainment. Jerks.

Oh, and v.i.f. (when it's mentioned below) stands for Very Important Feline

Disclaimer: I don't really think I need a disclaimer on but I'll say it anyway: I do not, nor ever will, own Warriors


Imagine, You and Me

By Steel Plated Bambi


"So you're really staying?"

Squirrelpaw uttered the words with reluctance, as though wishing they weren't true. Her green eyes were saddened with the knowledge that this would likely be the last time she talked with Stormfur like this. The tom in question blinked in affirmation, looking solemn.

"I can't leave Brook again. I love her." Stormfur spoke with confidence, but there was a telltale catch in his voice that gave away just how torn he was between loyalty to the clans and his newfound love for the tribe cat. A moment of silence passed between the two of them, as both grappled with their own thoughts and feelings. They equally understood the reality of the situation, and the heavy consequences of the choice Stormfur was making. The clans would travel as far as they had to in order to reach their new home; in remaining behind with the Tribe of Rushing Water, there was a very good chance that the RiverClan tom would never see his friends or clanmates again.

At length Squirrelpaw spoke, dispelling the hushed mood that had settled over the conversation.

"It won't be the same without you, you know. Finding our new home," she mewed sadly. "It won't be the same if we're not all…together." Stormfur's eyes flickered with something like pain, and the ginger apprentice winced at how carelessly she'd brought up the subject of Feathertail's death.

"No," Stormfur said evenly. "It won't be the same." He looked away from her, sighing. "But I've made my choice. My family are gone, Squirrelpaw. All of them." No doubt he was thinking of Graystripe, the father who had been stolen away by twolegs and was presumably gone for good. "I'm adjusting well to tribe hunting tactics; I've heard some of the others say I was practically a tribe cat myself. I think I'll be able to call this place home eventually. Besides, Brook is the only one I have left."

Don't tell me he thinks we don't care about him too? Squirrelpaw's eyes narrowed a fraction.

"Oh, so we're not included on your little list of v.i.f.s?" the ThunderClan she-cat asked dryly. "Stormfur, you know that we all care about you. Even that mousebrain Crowpaw does, so don't you go getting any ideas about not being loved." That got an amused purr out of him, at least. "I wish you could come with us, though." Squirrelpaw looked regretful for a moment.

"So do I," Stormfur sighed. "But my place is here." Squirrelpaw followed his gaze to the towering peak of the mountain above them, snow-capped and majestic. It was so different from home, and yet…If any cat could learn to live here, it was Stormfur. Squirrelpaw knew that much.

"I'll miss you guys," the grey tom mewed, looking back at his companion. Warmth showed in his yellow eyes. "Especially you, Squirrelpaw." Said apprentice was surprised to here it, and maybe just a little bit pleased, but she regarded him with amusement.

"Aww, I'm flattered. Don't let Brambleclaw hear you say that, though." Squirrelpaw teased. Stormfur laughed.

"I'm a big boy. If it comes down to a fight, I think I could hold my own against him," he replied cheekily. Then he tilted his head to the side and studied Squirrelpaw, a faint smile on his face.

"You know, a little while ago I would've given anything for you to notice me," Stormfur mewed ironically. "I'm still terribly jealous of Brambleclaw."

"You mean…wait, you actually had a crush on me?" Squirrelpaw couldn't help grinning.

"Yeah." Stormfur's whiskers twitched sheepishly, but he returned her grin. "Head over heels, almost. But I had too much respect for Brambleclaw to say anything."

"Well, call me irresistible," Squirrelpaw mewed jokingly, fluttering her lashes at him. Although she couldn't help wondering…

"What if you had said something, though?" she asked. "D'you suppose we would've gotten together, the two of us?" Stormfur appeared to consider this for a moment, tail-tip twitching thoughtfully. Then he spoke.

"Who knows?" he replied. "Anything's possible. My mother and father were certainly the odd couple." That was true enough, Squirrelpaw thought. Relationships between cats of different clans occurred more frequently than one might expect. Silverstream and Graystripe were certainly an example of that.

"It could've happened," Stormfur mewed, interrupting her thoughts. "Though it would've had repercussions. It always does." He grimaced at that. "I still don't know how I'm going to tell Leopardstar about Brook."

"Yeeeah, good luck with that, by the way," Squirrelpaw mewed, not without sympathy. "I don't envy you, I can tell you that." Then she sobered slightly, adopting a thoughtful expression.

"Still…imagine, you and me," she mused aloud. And she could imagine it, vividly. She'd always liked Stormfur; he was loyal and level-headed, the sort of tom who would make a perfect deputy for any clan. It didn't hurt that he was also strikingly handsome. Would things have turned out differently, the ginger apprentice wondered, if she hadn't started falling in love with Brambleclaw, and Stormfur with Brook? Maybe.

Silence again fell over the two clan cats. They sat for who knows how long, just thinking. Then Squirrelpaw gazed up at Stormfur, her green eyes meeting his yellow ones.

"I'll miss you, Stormfur," the she-cat mewed quietly, heart slightly heavier at the good-bye with its newfound knowledge. Squirrelpaw wanted to yowl at the unfairness of it all. StarClan, was she to lose all of the friends she had made on the journey? But no, this time it was Stormfur's choice. She had to respect that, even though she would miss him, terribly.

The gray tom returned her gaze, looking somewhat despondent himself.

"I'll miss you too, Squirrelpaw," he mewed back, blinking affectionately. They touched noses briefly, eyes closed in reflection on their time together. Squirrelpaw breathed in his scent, wanting to take in his subtle, musky odour and commit it to memory. Then she stepped back and gazed at him, her green eyes fixed on his yellow ones.

"Take care of yourself, alright?" She tried to sound cheerful, but her throat was tight, and the prey she'd caught earlier formed a cold, hard lump at the bottom of her stomach. Was this anything like how it felt to have your heart break? Squirrelpaw prayed not, for she didn't think she'd be able to bear it.

Stormfur purred, giving her ear a quick, affectionate lick.

"I'll try, just as long as you do, too." The gray tom tilted his head and lifted her chin with his tail, making her meet his gaze more evenly. "And don't look so gloomy. The Squirrelpaw I know would be threatening me about something, instead of moping like a wet woodchuck."

Squirrelpaw felt heartened by his comment, but took a playful swipe at him for good measure. Stormfur dodged out of the way and was already on his paws, darting away for fear of further assaults on his person. The ginger apprentice was already after him, ears flattening in mock anger.

"Call me a wet woodchuck, will you? Get back here, furball, so I can claw yours ears off!"

Stormfur laughed, loud and long and happy.

"Now that's the she-cat I know!" He grinned.


AN: Corny ending LOLOLOL…Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it, or at least didn't laugh at the sheer mushiness of the content. I know I did. Laugh, that is. XD Feel free to drop me a line by way of review – reviews are always appreciated.

As a trivia fact, I got various interesting spelling suggestions for "Yeeeah," including eye wash. Silly computer.