I'm not sure why, but I've somehow managed to develop an ability to write less than 3,000-word-fics. It's really quite irritating.
Anyway, warnings for this fic include shounen-ai, grammar mistakes / general errors, kitten!Kaito, shoujo-manga-protagonist!Shinichi, a boatload of sap, etc. Yeah.
Hope you enjoy! - Luna
What the Cat Dragged In
Kaito had always known that being friends with Akako was a bad idea. Ever since that first time she had tried to kill him, he had known for a fact that he should stay away from her. She was dangerous and unstable and prone to impulses that resulted in trips to the emergency room and inabilities to walk without wincing (Kaito still shuddered to think about the Stapler Incident, when he'd accidentally gotten glitter on her while performing a trick and consequently ended up in the hospital for a week), and it would be suicide to get on her bad side.
Apparently Kaito was suicidal, because he had gotten on her bad side.
In his defense, Kaito thought bitterly as he sat by the telephone pole, rivulets of water coursing through his fur to slither around his eyes and settle underneath his paws in a sad little puddle, he hadn't known that she didn't take kindly to him making fun of her BL addiction. Or that she was able to turn people in kittens and leave them in the rain like some bad manga cliché come to life.
He glared down at his reflection in the puddle. At least he was a cute cat – white with auburn splotches. He'd pet himself.
If he wasn't, you know, the cat. Because he was the cat.
Oh God, he was the cat.
...Okay, so maybe Kaito was starting to panick a little. He was allowed that much, after all.
Just as Kaito was wondering if a kitten trying to claw its own face off would look strange (although nobody was in sight – it made sense, most people tried to avoid hanging out on the streets during the rain), he heard footsteps approaching from the left, the sound dampened by the storm. Kaito instantly sat up, peering down the street. He could make out the slender, silvery shape of a man walking towards him, holding an umbrella over his head while the rain battered down on him.
Despite that he was a cute kitten in a rainstorm, Kaito wasn't really expecting the man to do anything as he sloshed by. Not everyone was the protagonist of a shoujo manga, after all. He settled down to pitifully curl into a ball as the man drew closer. What should he do now? Maybe if he found Akako and apologized, she'd turn him back –
Kaito was suddenly aware of the footsteps halting beside him. He was about to lift his head out of the puddle to figure out what was going on when a pair of hands descended to bracket his head. Kaito impulsively began to struggle, flailing as best he could with his weak kitten strength before he actually looked at the man holding him –
And found himself face-to-face with none other than Kudou Shinichi.
Kudou Shinichi, the world's most pretentious detective (although Hakuba was always a close second). Kudou Shinichi, who Kaito reluctantly had noticed had the prettiest eyes Kaito had ever seen. Kudou Shinichi, his most persistent critic (he'd been chasing Kaito, or rather Kid, for the last four years, counting the time he'd spent as a six-year-old).
Kudou Shinichi, who was leaning over him, setting down his umbrella to shield Kaito from the rain and kneeling beside him, heedless of the raindrops that immediately set to work drenching his cardigan and catching in his hair…?
Blinking owlishly (or cattishly?), Kaito stared as Shinichi settled his fingers lightly against the wet, ruffled fur along Kaito's neck. Shinichi's hands were noticeably warm and a little rough, with artistically slender fingers that curled around Kaito's face easily.
Kaito opened his mouth and tried to demand what Shinichi was doing, because as far as he knew, Mr. Murder Is Foul and All Thieves Suck didn't stop to pet kittens in the middle of rainstorms, but all that came out of his mouth was a pitiful, sad-sounding mew. Oh, right. He was a cat.
A little furrow appeared between Shinichi's eyebrows, and before Kaito was fully aware of what was happening, Shinichi slid one hand underneath Kaito's chest and the other right above his back legs and picked him up. Kaito found himself curled against the front of Shinichi's damp cardigan, right over Shinichi's heart.
For a full three seconds, Kaito was terrified – was Shinichi going to throw him off a building or something? That seemed like the kind of thing Shinichi would do – but when Kaito scrabbled at him, ripping wool and drawing blood when his claws connected with Shinichi's sweater-clad forearm, Shinichi just murmured comforting words at him.
Through some amazing feat of contortionism, Shinichi picked up the umbrella he'd abandoned and managed to hold it over both of him while still maintaining his grip on Kaito. If Kaito hadn't been so busy trying not to picture himself being tossed off cliffs or sacrificed to some kind of mystery god who accepted kittens as sacrifices, he would've noticed the way Shinichi cradled him close, warming his freezing, tiny body with his own body heat, and how Shinichi didn't stop or even scold him when he petulantly hooked his claws into Shinichi's sweater.
Well. Maybe Kaito did notice, actually.
Shinichi finally let Kaito down once they were inside his ridiculously large mansion. Kaito had been confused when they'd first stopped outside the towering, Western-styled house, but then he'd spotted the Kudou on the nameplate and realized that Shinichi lived here. It still bewildered Kaito a little even as he nosed around the entry area, because he couldn't imagine why one single person would want to live in such a huge house all by himself. But it wasn't as if Shinichi was explaining, and Kaito obviously couldn't ask, so he just went with it.
"Well," Shinichi said, and his voice was quiet as he flicked on the lights, flooding the front hall with light, and tugged off his sodden cardigan, "this is my house. I guess you'll be staying here until I find your owner."
"I don't have an owner," Kaito tried to gasp in indignation. It came out as a throaty "Mrooow," and Shinichi just looked at him with mild concern.
"Okay, well," he mumbled before heading down the hall. Kaito padded after him, wincing with his paws came in contact with the icy cold of the kitchen tiles. He was abruptly reminded of the fact that he was sopping wet.
He glanced up to find Shinichi coming at him with a dishtowel. Kaito flinched away at the initial brush of textured cotton to his fur, but Shinichi hushed him with a low hum and toweled him off gently.
Once Kaito had been dried to his satisfaction, Shinichi patted him on the head and turned to dig through his refrigerator. "I can't feed you normal milk, right?" he murmured, frowning a little before he shut the refrigerator and looked down at Kaito appraisingly. "How does powdered milk sound?"
Kaito wasn't sure what he was supposed to do in response, considering that he didn't really know what he thought of powdered milk, so he just settled for a shrug, which turned into more of an awkward spasm when he realized he kind of had four legs. He felt utterly ridiculous, but it brought a startlingly pretty smile to Shinichi's face, so.
"Thank you for that," Shinichi told him, and Kaito would've bristled if he hadn't been so caught up in the fact that wow, Shinichi knew how to smile, and he looked adorable doing it. He certainly wore it better than that stupid I'm so much better than you smirk he always gave Kaito at heists.
He was still thinking about that as Shinichi mumbled, "I think Ran left some powdered milk last time she was trying to make cinnamon rolls," and disappeared into the pantry. He emerged several minutes later with a box.
While Shinichi mixed the milk, Kaito explored the kitchen. If the almost fastidious cleanliness of the stovetop and toaster was any indication, it didn't seem to get a whole lot of use. Except the coffeemaker – that looked as if it was on its last legs. What did that say about Shinichi, he wondered?
Glancing up at the detective, Kaito examined his neatly cut profile with narrowed eyes. What possessed Shinichi to actually pick up a random kitten on his way home, he wondered? Shinichi was hardly Prince Charming; he was ruthless, at least in regards to Kid and murderers, and even if he was well-respected and fawned over by men and women alike, he was always so collected and cool and calculating, perpetually searching out ways to manipulate any given situation to his benefit. He was the last person Kaito would describe as spontaneous and kitten-saving.
Seeming to notice Kaito's attention, Shinichi smiled down at him before stooping to set the bowl down in front of him. One of his hands gravitated to the top of Kaito's head, thumbs rubbing gently over his ears.
"What's wrong?" he asked, immeasurably gentle, and Kaito looked up at him, at a loss as he tried to reconcile his mental image of Shinichi with the one in front of him (it really wasn't working, not when Shinichi was smiling so gorgeously down at him), before he ducked his head and lapped at the milk.
Humming under his breath, Shinichi straightened. Kaito almost missed the warmth of his palms. His footsteps pattered off, and Kaito blinked after him, wondering what he was doing. He finished the rest of the milk – it was watery and a little tasteless, but it wasn't inedible – and was starting to prowl around the kitchen when Shinichi made a reappearance.
He was carrying a fluffy blue towel now, and Kaito quirked his head at that, coming to sit curiously at Shinichi's slippered feet and peer up at him quizzically. "What's that?" he tried (unsurprisingly, it came out as "Meow?"), and Shinichi grinned before he got down on one knee and smothered Kaito in the towel.
The second Shinichi moved, Kaito tensed in preparation to lash out, but then he realized that the towel was pleasantly warm and soft and apparently cats liked warm, soft things, because before Kaito knew it, he had gone boneless in Shinichi's grasp. He was going to blame that on cat instincts.
Still, it sort of felt as if he was being wrapped in a hug, Kaito noted in some far corner of his brain as Shinichi swaddled him in the towel and held him to his chest. A purr resonated from his chest, embarrassingly enough.
"I put the towel in the dryer to warm it," Shinichi's voice explained from outside the blue cocoon of heaven, and Kaito mewed softly, nudging at the towel until he could see Shinichi's face. They were halfway up the stairs now, Shinichi taking care not to jostle Kaito unduly. Kaito probably should been concerned about where Shinichi was taking him, but seriously, this towel was really soft and he was feeling uncomfortably sleepy.
A few moments later, Kaito felt himself being placed on a cushy surface. He maneuvered until he could see what was around him.
He was in what appeared to be Shinichi's bedroom, lying on a queen-sized bed with precisely folded hospital corners. The room was furnished sparsely but comfortably, the desk in one corner covered in disorganized but carefully stacked towers of books and folders and the tall oak bookcase filled to capacity. Through the partially open closet door, Kaito could see a collection of button-downs and sweaters with the occasional t-shirt. The walls were painted a muted cornflower blue, and there was a tattered poster of Sherlock Holmes on the back of the door. Despite how ordinary the place was, Kaito felt a bit as if he were intruding on some part of Shinichi he wasn't supposed to know existed.
But before Kaito could escape the downy confines of the towel, a hand landed gently on his head, fingertips stroking through the fur along the underside of his neck. Kaito felt his eyes flutter shut.
"Sleepy?" Shinichi's voice questioned, faraway, and Kaito purred an affirmative before he rolled onto his side, letting his paws stretch out in front of him. He could almost hear Shinichi's smirk.
Apparently being turned into a kitten, getting caught in a rainstorm for a few hours, and then being carted off to Kudou Shinichi's house took a lot of energy. Oh well. Kaito could sleep, and then he'd work out a plan of escape in the morning.
A week later, Kaito woke to fingers carefully rubbing at the base of his ears and tried to convince himself to try to escape. It was his eighty-seventh attempt since he'd first arrived at the Kudou mansion.
"Good morning," Shinichi greeted, and Kaito opened his eyes to the sight of Shinichi beaming down at him, hair rumpled with sleep and baggy shirt hanging off one pale, well-defined shoulder. Kaito meowed at him. He grinned and stood, oversized pajama pants hanging off his hips in a way that was probably rated PG-13 at best, before ensconcing himself in the bathroom.
Kaito leaped off the bed and did his morning sulking routine (which included lurking about the hallway and glaring at walls), as the muffled sound of rushing water started up behind the bathroom door. After seven days of this, Kaito had come up with a mental list of reasons why he should try to get away from Shinichi as soon as possible.
1. Akako's magic was probably going to wear off soon, and Kaito doubted Shinichi would appreciate having Kid in his house for any reason.
2. Shinichi spent his free time playing with him using laser pointers. And while that was just – really, really fun, it was also kind of degrading, because, you know, he was actually a twenty-year-old man with a criminal record.
3. Shinichi kept reading Sherlock Holmes novels to Kaito in his spare time, and Kaito was morally opposed to that, seeing as stories about detectives generally rubbed him the wrong way. Although there was the small fact that Shinichi liked to hold him in his lap and pet him while he read, and Shinichi's hands were always really warm, so.
4. Kaito had never noticed this, but Shinichi was, well. Really, really pretty. Especially when he beamed down at Kaito.
5. Shinichi was also kind of built like a supermodel underneath his irritatingly modest clothes, which Kaito had discovered by sheer happenstance (no, really, it was just an accident) when he wandered into the bathroom during one of Shinichi's morning showers. He had collapsed with shock (and, okay, a tiny tiny tiny bit of lust), and Shinichi had frantically gotten out of the shower to resuscitate him. That – hadn't really helped to say the least, because a naked Shinichi crouched over Kaito, trying to perform CPR on his tiny cat body, was just surreal (and disturbingly, um, hot, so). From then on, Kaito had been banned from the bathroom out of concern that the steam and heat did something to his delicate kitten constitution. Kaito was equal parts relieved and disappointed by that.
There were about seven more points, but Kaito had long since realized that the rest of his list somehow managed to morph into reasons why he should stay with Shinichi, and he wasn't stupid enough to think about those when he was already finding it really, really hard not to want to cling to Shinichi.
…It was a little gross how quickly Shinichi had grown on Kaito.
The door to the bathroom swung open as Kaito finished his third loop around the hallway, and Shinichi stepped out, buffeted by steam and looking like some kind of wet-haired river god. Well, a river god wearing attractively tight jeans and a matching sweater, at least.
"Hey, you," he called to Kaito, and Kaito trotted towards him quickly. He was rewarded with Shinichi picking him up so they were eye level.
"We're going out today," Shinichi told him, arching a brow when Kaito made a disagreeable snuffling sound. "I know, you probably don't want to, but all the same, they're having a cat day at Beika Park, and Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, Genta, and Haibara wanted to play with you again."
Kaito shuddered at the thought – the last time those four had showed up to "play" he had been subjected to braiding, the horror – but Shinichi gave him a Look and Kaito finally gave a slightly petulant sound. "Fine," he mewed, and Shinichi smiled at him, recognizing the signs of acquisition.
"Thank you," he said, and Kaito scuttled onto his shoulder and scent-marked the curve of Shinichi's neck until Shinichi gently pulled him off.
Once they got outside, Shinichi clutching Kaito to his chest as he locked his front door, Kaito found that it was a sunny but bitterly cold day, the kind that highlighted Shinichi's eyes and brought color to his porcelain cheeks. He was suddenly very glad he'd let Shinichi take him out.
They reached the park a few minutes later. The kids hadn't shown up yet, so Shinichi sat down on a park bench and produced his copy of the latest Detective Samonji novel from somewhere. Kaito settled into his lap, peering around the park over the tops of his paws. There were a lot of cats and cat owners, he noted. So people actually went to these cat day events?
"Hey, there. What are you reading?"
Both Shinichi and Kaito started and glanced up to see a good-looking man smiling down at them. He had very white teeth and alarmingly good fashion sense, and Kaito instantly hated him. He growled. One of Shinichi's hands instantly began to knead at his jaw, and he tried to relax. Key word: tried.
Shinichi lifted his book to show the man the front cover. "I'm a pretty big fan of this series," he admitted, oblivious as the man raised neatly groomed eyebrows in a blatant show of I'm an elitist dick with evil ulterior motives. At least, that's how Kaito decided to interpret him.
Twitching, Kaito barely concealed a snarl as the man brushed off the front of his well-tailored pea coat and took a seat beside Shinichi, flicking Kaito's tail out of the way. "So you're into mysteries, then?"
"That's right," Shinichi nodded, smiling his stupid stardust smile. "I'm actually a consultant with the Tokyo police force."
The man's face lit up like the world's ugliest Christmas tree (okay, maybe that wasn't quite true, because the man was actually rather handsome, but forgive Kaito for not exactly feeling charitable when the guy looked three seconds away from feeling Shinichi up). "Oh, really? I'm actually a mystery novelist. Perhaps you've heard of me – my name is Inoue Kentarou."
And then it was Shinichi's turn to go all wide-eyed and open-mouthed, except on him, that kind of expression looked more like the cosmos are exploding than one single tree being plugged in. "Inoue Kentarou? The writer of the Whistling Graveyard series? I've been reading your work since I was in high school. Although to be honest, I think it's rather –" He suddenly seemed to come back to himself, ducking his head the slightest bit in a way that made his eyelashes look even darker and longer than they were. "Er… sorry about that, Inoue-san. I'm Kudou Shinichi."
"Please, call me Ken," Inoue said graciously, extending a hand to touch Shinichi.
In hindsight, it probably would've made more sense to realize that Inoue was probably only going in for a handshake, not molest him in the middle of a busy park. But Kaito apparently didn't like to think, because he instinctively reached out and slashed a set of three-inch gashes into the back of Inoue's hand.
Inoue recoiled with a shout, jaw dropping as he hugged his hand to his chest. Shinichi made a strangled sound and swept Kaito off his lap and onto the bench as he stood to grab Inoue's hand and gape at the blood welling in the cuts. "Are you all right?"
With a strained smile, Inoue laughed. It sounded like a recording. "Just fine, Kudou-kun." He shot Kaito a disparaging I will murder you and throw your body into the nearest river glare, hidden under layers of amusement. Kaito hissed at him as he turned back around to face Shinichi. "I'll need to get it sanitized and bandaged, though."
Immediately, Kaito could see the words forming on Shinichi's lips, the "Do you want to come back to my place? I've got supplies," and he quickly pounced on Shinichi's leg, claws fastening to the denim. He took care not to let his claws scrape Shinichi's skin, though. He wasn't that out of his mind.
Groaning, Shinichi reached down to collect Kaito from his thigh. "I'm sorry about this, Inoue-san," he apologized frankly, and Kaito had a moment of triumph at the Inoue-san rather than the Ken, before Shinichi's hands tightened around his stomach and okay, maybe Shinichi was less than thrilled with his behavior. "He's usually not this…" Shinichi spared Kaito a dry, displeased glance, and Kaito shrank a little. "Bad with strangers."
"It's no problem," Inoue chuckled genially, every bit the polished writer persona he was trying to project, and Kaito abruptly wished he had dug his claws in a little deeper. Before Shinichi or Kaito could move, Inoue scooped up Shinichi's abandoned book, reached into his coat to pull out a pen, and scrawled his name and number on the inside cover of the book. He extended it towards Shinichi, smiling warmly. "If you every feel like talking, or something."
It was hard to read the look Shinichi gave Inoue as he accepted the book. At first glance, it was – disgruntled? Startled by Inoue's amazing smile? Kaito wilted a bit at the thought.
"Thank you for the offer," Shinichi finally closed with, and then he tucked his book back to wherever it came from and started down the street. Halfway past a lamppost, he grumbled at Kaito, "I am not letting you near the kids when you nearly separated a man's dorsal interossei from his metacarpals." His voice wasn't angry, though, just fondly resigned.
Kaito devoted three seconds to feelings of victory and eighteen more to inwardly crying over the fact that Shinichi was such a nerd.
As a result of Kaito's "unwarranted" attack on Inoue, Shinichi stopped reading Sherlock Holmes to him after dinner. No matter how much Kaito pawed at his calves or kneaded at his thighs, Shinichi just raised his eyebrows down at him and shook his head.
"I don't know if I should hold you for too long. You might claw half my hand off," he pointedly told Kaito the third night it happened, relentlessly hardhearted as he plucked Kaito off his lap and set him back on the floor.
Whining, Kaito curled into a huffy ball at his feet. He wanted to remind Shinichi that one, Shinichi had no problem holding Kaito at any other part of the day, and two, Inoue had definitely deserved it and Kaito should be rewarded rather than shunned. But, you know, he was still a cat, so speech was still pretty much impossible.
Speaking of the whole cat thing, Kaito was beginning to get a bit annoyed with his predicament. Even though Shinichi was refusing to read to him during the evenings, he was still just as – as accommodatingly gentle as before at every other moment of the day. He let Kaito sleep on his spare pillow and he let Kaito clamber around on his shoulders while he worked on the case files that police officers occasionally stopped by to leave and he let Kaito eat bits of his food, though nothing he deemed unhealthy. He was nothing like the Kudou Shinichi Kaito had previously assumed, at least.
Which made Kaito want – well, want to no longer be a cat. So he could maybe touch Shinichi with hands rather than paws and nudge at his neck with his own nose. Or something.
The sound of Shinichi's embarrassingly chirpy ringtone made Kaito lift his head to watch as Shinichi pick up his phone. His eyes narrowed at the screen before he tossed his phone at the armchair opposite his and went back to his book.
Suspicious, Kaito jumped up onto the couch and nuzzled around until he unearthed the phone from the seat cushion. The screen had dimmed, but right before it turned off entirely, Kaito managed to catch sight of New Message: hey this is ken from the park i got your number from the police station.
There was a low growl leaking from Kaito's mouth before he realized. Shinichi glanced up, an eyebrow lifted.
"What's wrong?"
Giving a petulant meow that translated to "I will cut him to ribbons next time I see him," Kaito dropped down to the ground, then scrambled up into Shinichi's lap. Shinichi didn't shove him away this time, seeming to sense that Kaito was seething from the way his claws curled into the soft fabric of his knees. Instead, he ran a hand down the arch of Kaito's back.
Kaito spent another ten minutes stewing in his fury before the thought of why do I care this much crossed his mind.
Another three minutes of consideration went by before he came to the realization that oh wow, he was in love with Shinichi. Like. Really, really in love with Shinichi.
Well, shit.
Another week, and Kaito had somewhat come to terms with the situation.
He was still a cat, he bemoaned as Shinichi patted the spot on the bed beside him when Kaito didn't immediately leap onto the pillow. He was still a cat, Akako's magic hadn't shown any signs of wearing off, and he kept sleeping next to the guy he was very much in love with.
Something had to change before he became the first cat to ever need a psychiatrist.
Shinichi was getting off the bed now, concern in his voice as he asked, "What's wrong?" Kaito stayed glued to the door, trying not to look up Shinichi's extraordinarily loose shirt out of a dying sense of chivalry.
He gave a meow when Shinichi reached down to pick him up. Shinichi ignored his feeble attempts at escape, frowning a little.
"You're acting weird."
"Meow," Kaito whimpered, which meant If I sleep in the same bed as you again, I may die of heart failure. Shinichi didn't speak cat, obviously, and he just shook his head and deposited Kaito unceremoniously on the pillow that had silently been named as Kaito's.
Wishing he could cry, Kaito curled up and, listening to Shinichi's breathing even out, fell asleep.
He had a very vivid dream of being human again, Shinichi's arms locked around his waist as Kaito leaned back into his chest. It left him warm and comfortable, and Kaito desperately wished that were reality.
Until he opened his eyes and realized it was reality.
He really was human, with two hands with five fingers on each and a pair of legs and arms. And he had exposed skin.
Exposed skin that was pressed against the front of Shinichi's really, really thin cotton t-shirt, oh God.
If later asked, Kaito would deny that he shrieked. Kuroba Kaito simply did not shriek. He made others shriek, of course, but he himself never shrieked. That would be completely ridiculous.
But he did, you know, maybe an undignified screeching sound that could be construed as a relative of a shriek.
Whatever he sound he made, it woke Shinichi up, because before Kaito could fully breathe again, Shinichi was rubbing at his eyes, squirming a little and shoveling bits of bedhead-stricken hair out of his face. Kaito watched the progression of expressions on his face as he wondered what am I holding then realized this is not a cat and finally wait what. His eyes fluttered open and landed on Kaito's face.
Kaito was half-expecting the world to implode and/or Shinichi to singlehandedly cause the apocalypse. Either seemed a viable option.
Instead, Shinichi just stared and stared and stared at him.
After two minutes of this had passed, Kaito hesitantly cleared his throat. "Uh, good morning." It was both exhilarating and comforting that he could actually speak now. Although he was more concerned with the blank, flat expression on Shinichi's face.
"Give me a moment," Shinichi finally muttered, blinking for the first time since he'd seen Kaito. "I'm trying to process why Kaitou Kid is sitting in my bed, completely naked, while my cat, who usually shares the bed with me, is nowhere in sight."
"My name's actually Kuroba Kaito, so," Kaito said, and then regretted it when Shinichi's eyebrows shot up.
Wincing, he reached up to rub at the back of his head. Had Shinichi not been still staring at him, he would've relished the feeling of his quite human skin brushing against his quite human hair, but alas, a muscle underneath Shinichi's right eye kept twitching and Kaito was beginning to worry for Shinichi's health. "Anyway. Um. About that. I." He coughed. "Was your cat, actually."
"You." The twitching increased exponentially. "Were my cat."
"Um, yes. My friend's a witch. She got mad at me and turned me into a cat." At Shinichi's less than appreciative stare, Kaito quickly backpedaled, "Okay, before you freak out –"
The look Shinichi leveled him was the equivalent of a three-hour seminar on irritation. "I don't freak out." A beat, then, "But please get the hell out of my room for about three minutes so I can contemplate what to do to you. And possibly scream into a pillow."
Shoving the blankets aside, Kaito bolted. He barely had the presence of mind to grab a pair of Shinichi's pants out of the closet before he was panting in the hallway.
Well. This was going perfectly.
Kaito took the opportunity to brush his teeth. There were no words to describe how happy he was to finally brush his teeth again.
Exactly three and a half minutes later, Shinichi emerged from his own bedroom. From the running water Kaito had heard earlier, Shinichi had probably washed up and brushed his teeth as well, because he looked mildly more put-together. He had also tamed his hair into something that resembled his usual hairstyle, but he was still wearing his pajamas and a mildly perturbed expression.
"Now that I've screamed into a pillow and splashed cold water on my face to verify this isn't a dream, please provide an explanation," he snipped, scowling a little at Kaito. Even though he looked vaguely pissed and very dangerous, Kaito didn't miss the way his gaze wavered, flickering down Kaito's bare torso. Kaito almost wished he'd snatched a shirt out of Shinichi's closet with the pants – while he (obviously) didn't mind the attention, he wasn't sure he wanted to have this conversation as Shinichi casually checked him out. It was too hard to concentrate on not pouncing on Shinichi and giving a rational explanation at the same time.
"Well, it's a funny story." Kaito coughed into the crook of his elbow, feeling understandably exposed. "I insulted one of my friend's favorite BL couples –"
"BL?"
"…Boys' Love," Kaito mumbled, and Shinichi thankfully seemed to get it, flinching as he nodded quickly. Kaito cleared his throat awkwardly. "I insulted one of her favorite couples, and as a punishment, she kind of… turned me into a cat and left me out in a storm. And then you came along and picked me up, and I was going to try to run away, but you're just – really hard to run away from."
Shinichi's eyebrows were halfway up his forehead. "That's… extremely ironic, considering you spend most of your time running from me, you being Kid and all."
"I mean – okay, yes, that's true, but I don't – I didn't know what you were like, before. I thought you were an asshole," Kaito stammered. He flushed a little as Shinichi's eyebrows completed their journey to his hairline. "Shit, that sounds bad. I just – um."
"Right," Shinichi said dryly, but Kaito caught the undercurrent of amusement in his tone. At least one of them wasn't feeling a strong urge to meld with the floor and cease to exist. "Has your opinion changed?"
"Uh…" Kaito's brain stalled momentarily as Shinichi leaned against the doorway, the hem of his shirt riding up to bare a triangle of skin. He swallowed. "Yes. Yes, it has."
"How so?" There was a smirk on Shinichi's face that Kaito couldn't read as he hummed and straightened. His shirt fell into place, thankfully. Kaito wasn't sure he could've gone much longer without suffering an aneurysm.
"You're…" Kaito made a strangled sound as Shinichi sauntered forward, his smile growing, and he was enjoying this, wasn't he, the bastard?
Casually cupping the edge of Kaito's hipbone with one warm hand and smiling sweetly as if he did this on a regular basis, Shinichi tilted his head at him. "I'm…?"
It was getting harder and harder to remember to breathe as Shinichi leaned in a little closer, eyes darkly azure. Kaito's head was a mess of bewilderment (and the urge to kiss Shinichi, but he was trying to forget about that part). Weren't they moving kind of fast? Kaito had only been human for, like, ten minutes, and Shinichi already had him pressed up against a wall. Kaito was pretty sure there were several magazines that would advise against wall sex ten minutes after meeting.
There was a part of Kaito's brain that, disturbingly enough, sounded like a giddy version of Akako as it reminded him technically, Kaito had known Shinichi for four years, if they counted the time they'd spent as Kid and tantei-kun. The other part of Kaito's brain was cheerfully pointing out that Kaito wasn't exactly unwilling to partake in wall sex with Shinichi. He was kind of the opposite of unwilling, actually.
Well. Kaito gulped.
Shinichi's eyes softened after a moment. The curled line of his mouth did, too – and God his mouth was so pink, was it always like that? – and Kaito had half a second for his brain to register astonishment-anticipation-adoration as Shinichi pressed closer, the fabric of his shirt sweeping against Kaito's bare skin –
And then Shinichi's annoying ringtone went off behind them, siren-loud in the stillness, and Kaito wanted to find something to break.
Pulling back (and leaving Kaito feeling flushed underneath his skin), Shinichi sighed and hurried into his bedroom. He emerged a second later, holding his phone and staring down at it with something like resignation.
"Who is it?" Kaito demanded, instantly on guard. There was something about the way Shinichi just looked mildly put-out that didn't sit well with him.
He snatched Shinichi's phone out of his hand and glared down at the screen.
It was from Inoue Kentarou, and it read, hey shinichi want to get together today.
Kaito sucked down a breath to stabilize himself before he gave into his growing desire to stab out his own eyes. He whirled on Shinichi, who was watching him with something not entirely unrelated to amused confusion. "Why the hell are you texting this guy?" he half-shouted, and Shinichi sent him an unimpressed glare.
"Because he's been sending me thirty-eight messages a day?"
"Why don't you block him?" Kaito groaned, waving Shinichi's phone around for emphasis. Judging from the way Shinichi's mouth kept hitching up at the corners, he looked more deranged than intimidating, but Kaito couldn't help himself.
"It's Inoue Kentarou, Kuroba. You don't do that."
For two seconds, Kaito felt ridiculously happy about Shinichi calling him by his name, but then it dissipated as he gawped disbelievingly at Shinichi. "Seriously? Just because he's some – some mystery writer you're going to – just – you know?"
Coughing uncomfortably, Shinichi shuffled around a bit. "Actually, what I've been doing is trying to point out the three hundred and eighteen inaccuracies and logical fallacies in his Whistling Graveyard series."
That… was not what Kaito had been expecting. He expressed this by eloquently stammering, "What?"
Appearing to mistake Kaito's incredulity for something else, Shinichi threw his hands in the air with a noisy exhale. "It's completely absurd! The man thinks that a person can operate a vehicle after both their jugular vein and carotid artery have been sliced!" He made a weird growling noise that Kaito probably shouldn't have thought was adorable. "I can't believe anyone published him. I've been filing complaints against his series for years, but apparently Onodera Publishing doesn't care that they've been mass-producing wrong information, because they haven't stopped printing his stupid series."
"Oh," Kaito mumbled, faintly.
"And he's persistent, too," Shinichi ranted, waving his arms frantically. It almost amused Kaito to see their roles reversed. "Every time I point out one of his stupid mistakes – people don't bleed from the mouth after they've been hanged, God – he just replies with 'haha' and asks me out again! Like I want to go have drinks with someone who doesn't know graphite and diamonds are both carbon!"
That made Kaito scowl and glare down at the phone still clutched in his hand. "Really." He opened a new message and began typing.
"Yes," Shinichi huffed, dropping his hands at his sides. He suddenly looked at Kaito curiously. "What are you… wait, what are you doing?"
"Telling this bastard that you're taken," Kaito answered absently. He did just that, although with a few more words and a few more death threats.
He hit send a few moments later, satisfied, although he wasn't entirely sure if it was actually possible to train an entire flock of doves to do exactly as he'd promised. Knowing his doves, though, Kaito could probably manage it.
"Um," Shinichi said, quietly, and then it occurred to Kaito that maybe he shouldn't have been so damn presumptuous, because all Kaito was to Shinichi was a shirtless Kaitou Kid who had happened to be his cat for two weeks.
Kaito dropped Shinichi's phone with a clatter, taking a quick step backwards as he made eye contact. Bad idea. The look on Shinichi's face was written in some indecipherable language, or at least one that Kaito didn't speak.
"…Sorry?" he managed weakly.
"Don't be sorry," Shinichi growled, and before Kaito had a chance to figure out what that meant, Shinichi pressed him up against a wall by his hipbone and kissed him.
Huh, Kaito thought woozily in the back corner of his brain that was miraculously not overloaded with the feeling of Shinichi's tongue sliding against his, déjà vu.
"Isn't this kind of sudden, I mean, I was only your cat for two weeks, and also I was a cat, so," he stammered when Shinichi pulled back, thumbing the jut of his hips for the second time this morning.
Shinichi gave him a blank are you serious look, which probably would've been more intimidating if Shinichi hadn't been flushed pink and completely out of breath. "Oh, no," he said, somehow managing to sound sarcastic, "I've only been chasing after you for four years," and okay, Kaito could accept that.
So he tugged Shinichi closer and promptly discovered just how closely Shinichi resembled a supermodel underneath his clothes.
omake
"So… thanks."
Akako had been shocked enough to receive a call from Kaito, but she knocked over her bottle of nail polish at that. She watched the bright red spread across her kitchen table, too surprised to care. "You're thanking me. For turning you into a kitten and leaving you out in the rain. For two weeks."
"Um, yeah." Kuroba shuffled around. "I – well, long story short, Shinichi… er, tantei-kun picked me up. And we're kind of… um. Like that. Now."
Did Akako want to know? She wasn't really sure.
"O… Okay," Akako finally choked out. "You're… welcome."
"Great, thanks," Kaito quickly said, sounding inordinately relieved, and then he hung up.
Pulling her phone away from her ear, Akako pursed her lips thoughtfully. How long should she wait before she released the Kid x Kudou doujinshi that she'd written?
"How long would it take for Kaito to realize that she had left him half a street from Kudou Shinichi's house" was the real question, but Akako doubted Kaito would ever actually notice. He had Shinichi to distract him now, after all.
I've never owned a cat, so I dunno how accurate any of this was, but we're just going to pretend it was all perfectly realistic.
If you enjoyed this fic even a little, please consider leaving me a review, and I'll see you all soon! - Luna
