Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto he wouldn't have that stupid catch phrase "Believe it!" Also would be in the Naruto cast. I would be the insane one that beats the crap out of everyone with a frying pan. I don't own Naruto though so you don't have to worry about a frying pan wielding brunette that stalks Gaara. So you lawyers and your untrustworthy shiny shoes can blow it out your overly pampered rear…
THE SECRETARY
Chapter 1: Hated Wednesdays
If the person who had thought of the idea of Wednesdays was still alive he swore he would have killed them. That was putting what he really wanted to do to them lightly. The puppet master's actual thoughts were along the lines of flame broiling them and then feeding whatever remains there were to a mob of disgusting, filthy, fast sewer rats. Of course his mind worked that before he flame broiled them he would torment them with educational T.V.
Kankuro hated Wednesdays and he was not one to hate too many things. Some of the few things he did hate got him the nickname 'Old man' by the kids in his neighborhood. He hated kids in his yard, when Gaara didn't respond to what he said, when Uzumaki came and bickered with his sister over life views, and then of course his sister's cooking. Usual people could list many more things, he not so much. Now Wednesdays were on his 'hate list' and that was never a good thing.
Of course once he thought about it wasn't really Wednesdays he hated. What he truly hated was his new student. The Kazekage had ordered that all new genin be trained one on one with a jonin for a month before forming actual teams. Kankuro was of course paired with the most annoying brat that all of Wind Country could throw at him. The girl was nonstop chatter and it didn't take long for Kankuro to find out that she was one of the Kazekage's numerous fan girls.
Kankuro attempted to focus on something other then his hate for the girl as he reached out to open the Kazekage's door. As always the door swung silently open on well oiled hinges. He bent his head down and walked in as quietly as the door had opened.
The office hadn't changed since the day the fifth Kazekage had it redecorated. The plain barren walls were the same pasty tan color they always were and the light hardwood flooring even shone the same as it had five years ago. To his left was the small dark cherry wood desk that belonged to the Kazekage's secretary who as always gone. There was even a sign on her desk that said "OUT TO LUNCH, BACK BY ONE" Then as always there was the larger dark cherry wood desk in the center of the room that belonged to the Kazekage himself. The mounds of paper work were there as always and the navy blue hazy glass desk lamp was there and turned off. Then behind the desk in his chair was the busy Kazekage who was currently… sleeping.
Kankuro completely forgot about his crappy first day of teaching at the site of the Kazekage literally snoring in his chair. Quietly he closed the door behind him so that even he could barely hear the soft clicking sound it made as the handle turned back to its natural position. He walked forward a bit and peered at the Kazekage just to be sure that he was in fact sleeping.
The brunette male shook his head in disbelief at the site. His brother, Sabaku no Gaara, Kazekage of Suna, was sawing logs in his chair. The redhead's head was tilted forward to his chest as he softly snored. Kankuro attempted not to laugh.
Gaara had been able to sleep for five years now. At first he couldn't get into the habit but after three years of on and off sleep Gaara began to need to sleep at least half as much as the average ninja. It had never gotten to the point where he had to absolutely need sleep but once a week but for a month he had been staying late at the office every night. It had obviously caught up with him and before Kankuro was the result.
Once again Kankuro had to hold in a massive bout of laughter. Gaara had given out a massive snore that shook the three windows in his office. The noise had managed to wake him so that he was looking around frantically looking for the cause. Kankuro couldn't hold in his laughter any more as he looked at his brother's bewildered expression.
Gaara glared at his brother thinking it was him that had made noise. It was bad enough that he caught him sleeping on the job, now he had to rub it in.
"I'm going to kill him," he thought with all his anger being directed at his older brother. "Older or not he is the most childish person I have ever met. He's worse then Naruto."
"You totally woke yourself up you snored so loud! The windows even shook! It was hilarious!" Kankuro shouted in amusement. His sides were still heaving in and out with laughter.
Gaara may have changed but he wasn't going to take that. He was Sabaku no Gaara and he was not about to be teased by someone as stupid and clumsy as Kankuro. He raised his fist and slammed it on his desk making a few helpless papers fall off their piles and drift to the floor. "SHUT UP!"
Kankuro stopped laughing immediately at the site of Gaara's face. He had forgotten that Wednesdays were Gaara's least favorite days as well. Wednesdays were the days the majority of his weekly paper work came in. "So that's why he has all those stacks of papers. This isn't a good position for me… He still hasn't finished all the paperwork from last Wednesday. Man he must be really mad at me now."
"What could you possibly want at this time of day Kankuro?" the redheaded Kazekage asked, or more so growled. His pale sea foam colored eyes were narrowed into slits as he glared at his brother.
Kankuro sighed remembering why he had come to talk to his brother or more so the Kazekage. He wanted to swap students with someone. He was tired of listening to, "Do you know if your brother is seeing anyone?" or "Does the Kazekage like kissing?" He had somehow managed to slip away from her an hour ago.
Kankuro took a deep breath and began, "I want to swap my trainee with someone else. Preferably Temari, she is training a boy right?"
Gaara eased up his glare and held back the gaping expression that he really wanted to throw at him for what just came out of the puppet master's mouth. "Kankuro you've never had a problem with working with girls before. So why now all of a sudden are you requesting a male trainee?"
Kankuro sighed and leaned back against the door. A dry chuckle escaped his mouth as he looked at the plain plaster ceiling. His eyes slowly drifted back to his red haired brother in a slow irritating manor for Gaara. "Because a boy can't be a fan girl, that's why. That trainee spent her whole day asking personal questions about you. What your favorite color was yada yada yada. She drove me up a wall, literally! I ran up a building to escape her!" He stated.
"I don't care. You're a ninja, a Sand jonin, toughen up and deal with it," Gaara growled out at him. He went back to work ignoring his brother's presence.
Kankuro stomped his foot on the ground in a childish act. "Gaara! This is serious!" He shook a fist at the Kazekage in pure anger, a bad choice on his part.
Gaara spared his brother only a momentary glance, black rimmed eyes rising then falling back to his paper work. "Put your fist away and get out."
The puppet master let out an exasperated yell as he pulled the door open with more force then necessary. His stomps through the hall were quite audible for everyone below him and on the same level. To say he was angry would be an understatement.
"What am I doing? Running from Gaara again because he sent me a mean look? I thought I was better then that," his thoughts hit a bitter note at that. He sighed and turned on his heel and headed back to his brother's office. He would make a second attempt.
"Hey Gaara? Listen I'm sorry for coming to you like that, but I think I would be able to teach a boy more then I would a girl. If you could please switch my trainee… please," he pleaded as he walked through the door again.
"I said no and I mean no," was his reply.
His temper began to rise again. He gritted his teeth but it didn't help keep the words in, "You suck Gaara! I'm seriously trying to be nice and you're acting like you have a stick up your butt!"
Gaara gave a feral growl at his brother began shouting at him. He stood up and gave Kankuro one of his darkest glares. The brunette had crossed the fine line… "Get. Out. Now."
"Don't give me that crap!" Kankuro yelled back. He stamped one of his feet on the ground like a child.
Gaara grabbed the nearest thing he could throw at his brother. Sadly it was the small glass desk lamp his sister gave him as a birthday gift. He threw it at his brother with all his might and the small piece of furniture went flying straight at the puppet master. Kankuro was well trained so that he easily dodged the missile. Of course the clock above the door read one o' five. Right at the moment Gaara had thrown the lamp the door had opened and his secretary walked in putting herself right in the line of fire.
BAM! CRASH! Before either male realized what happened the secretary was on the ground… dead. She was absolutely dead, no doubt about it. Gaara's secretary was as dead as the pet rat he owned and Kankuro 'accidentally' flushed down the toilet.
Gaara of course didn't really care about her. She was a slut in every sense of the word. She didn't do much paperwork either. Of course what little paperwork she did do would be his responsibility.
The siblings looked at the site with wide eyes. The fake blonde was sprawled across the ground; blood began to pool around her head from the apparent head wound on her forehead. She still looked like crap in Gaara's eyes but the council wouldn't look at what she looked like. They would think of the fact that this was a murder, accident or not, and it was committed by the Kazekage.
Kankuro patted his wide eyed brother on the back when he finally regained his composure. "Nice one."
Gaara shook his head slowly. "I hate Wednesdays."
A/N: WOOT! First chapter of TS done! I hope you enjoy! I tried my best to add humor. The end wasn't planned out as much so it was more rushed then the beginning. If you enjoy and want me to continue, then review. Reviews are encouraging and I need encouragement. I'll be away from Sunday to next Sunday on a mission trip. I should be able to post chapter two by then if I move my overly fried rear. LATER DAYS! --shattered
If you do not review, I am sorry, but I will have to let shattered out of her high security cage, with reinforced steal, bullet proof glass, and Gaara's sand… with a Gaara plushie in the middle to keep her occupied; don't make me let her out of her cage. Review!!! --Machi-san
