They stood looking up at the stars, and his words echoed around his head, "You embarrass me, embarrass me, embarrass…."
The look of hurt that had flashed across her face was imprinted on his memory. It twisted in his gut and pulled at his hearts. Why had he said that?
Cruel Doctor. Manipulative Doctor. Stupid Doctor.
He studied her profile. The look of awe on her face as the night sky began to change. Young River. So trusting. So brave. So different.
He had used words as a weapon. And hurt her.
Her. The woman who had given up her lives to save him. Who loved him fiercely and without question, in spite of knowing his faults. Her. His time lady. His. And oh, she was beautiful and glorious, and he was lost already.
She must have felt his eyes on her and turned. "Enjoying the view Doctor?" She was smirking and he smiled softly at her. "Very much River." She flushed and bit her lip, and he marvelled again at the dichotomy of her. Confident and Unsure. Brash and Shy.
His harsh words flitted once again across his mind and she reached forward to tentatively take his hand, looking up at him through long lashes and wide eyes.
"Don't. It's okay Doctor."
He looked down at her questioningly.
"Part time lady remember? I can feel your thoughts. I chose this. I made up my own mind."
He swallowed. "But, I hurt you. Those things I said, River, I-."
"Yes", she whispered. "And I hurt you too; I killed you for heaven's sake!"
"And then you saved me."
"Because I wanted to. Because I knew you even then. Because we are the same."
He smiled fondly at her. "No, River. You are the child of the TARDIS, the daughter of Amy and Rory. Made from the best of humanity, and the beauty of all of time and space."
Her breath caught, and he watched in delight as she blushed again. "See Doctor, words like that cancel out those other ones." He reached for a stray curl that was gently blowing across her face and she nuzzled into his fingers.
The sky seemed to ignite around them, stars burning through the atmosphere and reflecting in her eyes. "So, we need to start making some stories to go into my journal?" she asked coyly.
He nodded. "Then, please kiss me again, my Doctor?" Smiling, he leaned down and took her bottom lip between his own, gently pulling on it before feeling her mouth open and her tongue slide against his. She sighed against his lips and he moved a hand up to her cheek, fingers tangling in her wonderful hair.
And as he pulled her closer and lost himself in the taste and feel of her, the twisting in his gut and the aching in his hearts flared into a light within him that seemed to rival the stars above them.
His Time lady. His wife. His River.
