Summary: When Uzumaki Naruto and his sister Naruko find themselves in a place called Konoha, they are very confused. What's a jutsu? Why is everyone wearing headbands? And of course, why is their dad carved on a mountain?
Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Naruto franchise.
CHAPTER 1
"This is weeaboo trash heaven"
In which two teen socialites find themselves is a world of ninjas, jutsus and thankfully good phone service. Too bad they don't sell chargers.
One thing Naruto always remembered to do before he slept was to charge his phone. He couldn't live without it. Who could? It had his contact list, Instagram, Snapchat and Tumblr. The things he needed to make his day possible. Some people had coffee first thing in the morning, his remedy was a charged phone. A nice hundred percent plastered on the top right corner of his phone, next to the icon of a full battery. That's why when he woke up, and couldn't find his phone, he started to sweat.
"Shit, shit, shit..." he cursed repeatedly.
He opened his drawers quickly, trying to see if he might've left it there by mistake the night before. After all, last night, he had gotten home quite late, his whole body reeking of alcohol. It was the party of the year, they said. And indeed, they were right. He had never gotten as drunk as he did, and never had such an intense hangover as well.
"Fuck.." his head was killing him. He needed medicine, Advil or Tylenol, anything to deal with his headache. But first he needed to find his phone. "Oh how society has fallen... For a man such as myself to not be able to function without his phone at hand... Maybe I should write a rant on it later today..." he continued as he rummaged through his drawer. Orange pants, orange jumpsuit, a headband...
Wait what?
Something was amiss.
Never, never, would he ever have anything orange in his wardrobe. Or at least of that shade. He would look like a traffic cone, or worst, a k-pop star. When he opened the other drawer, it broke. And released lots of dust. When the dust cloud finally began to dissipate, the young man realized that the room he was in did not look like his own at all. Not one bit. That was when he started to sweat much more.
His room was not as dark, and not as dusty. His bed was fluffy and soft, compared to the hard one he woke up from and he knew for one thing that he had a lot more space in his own bedroom. Was he kidnapped by some kid with a strong affinity for orange? Was he taken advantage of-
BZZ - BZZ
Before his imagination could lead him to crazy assumptions, a vibration interrupted his thoughts. He felt it in his pocket. Of course, his phone was in his pocket all along. When he took out his device, he nearly yelped. 35%. What a low percentage. And yes, although it's not such a bad number, considering the fact that it was an iPhone, he could beg to differ. The battery on those devices went out in the matter of seconds.
여동생 (yeodongsaeng): 5 Missed calls.
With a sigh, he closed his phone once more. It was probably a makeup emergency and she needed to get something from Sephora for her newest Instagram post or whatever.
"Kylie Jenner can wait a few minutes. Kendall, here, needs to find out where the actual fuck she is." he said out loud as he glared at the reducing percentage on his phone. He might as well close it, after all, the service didn't seem to be so good in this room.
As he entered the bathroom, Naruto quickly found out that the person who lived there did not like cleaning, at all. There wasn't no mould of grime, thank god, but there seemed to be dust nearly everywhere. Ugh. What kind of person did he sleep with last night.
Apparently, someone who seemed to never suffer from hangovers, and liked orange.
Naruto shivered.
But still, hygiene was important, and if he had to smell like oranges or whatnot, he would take the risk. He would rather smell girly, than smell like crap.
When his shower was over, the man quickly put his clothes back on and grabbed his phone. As he passed from the bedroom to the sitting room, he happened to stumble unto a picture frame. When had the chance to look more intently into it, he tried not to puke. Did he sleep with a kid? That would explain the orange, and oh God... No.
NO.
NO!
He wouldn't have. He was promiscuous, yes. But he wasn't that much of an awful person. Before tears began to fall from his eyes, he looked at the picture once more and stopped. Was that him? Wearing such a tacky uniform? It had to be. No one had birthmarks like his, and the facial structure was too similar to his to be classified as anything else. But he didn't remember taking such a picture with those kids when he was younger. And he had impeccable memory.
What was going on?
Did he meet up with an old stalker of his. The more questions he asked himself, the more he was getting disturbed. So, he did what any normal person would do. He quickly got the heck out of his room and made his way to the outdoors. It was when he hit the outdoors that things got a lot weirder.
"Usually Naruto is the first to arrive…" Sakura said bemusedly as she continued to look out at the road. It was a special day, or at least for Naruto it was. The night before, he as well as his peers had decided to have a training day together. Which meant jutsus, training and ramen. A dream come true for Naruto. Typically on days like such, Naruto would've been the first to arrive at the Training Grounds. If he were a few minutes late, it was understandable. But now, even Kakashi was waiting alongside Sasuke and Sakura. Something was strange.
"He'll get here in a few…" Kakashi said nonchalantly, only to be cut by Sakura's rigid stare.
"You said that forty-five minutes ago, and I don't see any Naruto anywhere."
"Maybe the dobe slept in." Sasuke suggested with a scowl.
A tick appeared on the young woman's head and before her two teammates could do anything, she began to stalk towards the direction of Naruto's apartment.
"Then I guess it's time for a wake up call" she growled as she continued to march down the road, civilians making a ay for her in hopes of not getting into the irritable kunoichi's way.
It took Naruto a few minutes for him to register what was going on. Scratch minutes, it might've been hours. He had expected to at least a few skyscrapers, or vehicles out and about. Hell, if he saw at least one car, he'd be reassured. What he hadn't expected unpaved roads, open markets, and people wearing what seemed to be ancient Japanese clothing.
"What in the world is going on.." he muttered as he slowly made his way down the steps of the rundown apartment complex. As he descended the stairs, step by step, the landscape he saw began to seem a lot more real that he'd anticipated He had thought of it as a cruel joke, but as he walked more, and looked around, he started to acknowledge the fact that he was a long way from home.
But how did that make sense? Last night, he was in New York.
Getting to the last step, a grim smile appeared on the young man's face and he clutched his phone tightly.
"Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore" he said. However, before he even had a chance to start looking around for clues, a flash of pink clouded his vision.
If there was one thing Sakura was feared for, it was her temper.
Yes, of course, she did have ridiculous strength, however, if her temper was not kept in check, it was frightening the amount of damage she could do. That was why when she caught eye of blonde hair, the villagers quickly scooted as far as they could from the angry woman.
"Naaaaaruuuutooooooo!"
It all came so quickly.
The punch, his body hitting the floor, the realization that he just got hit, the pain that soon followed, and then the clearing of his vision.
In front of him was a woman with striking pink hair, shaped in a bob and her eyes were green, with an intimidating glare. When he looked down, he realized that she as well was wearing a weird Japanese-like outfit. She had her hands on her hips as she began to yell at him. However, he couldn't even hear what she was saying. His ear were ringing. Oh it hurt a lot.
He looked around, incredulous, and wondering if someone was going to intervene and say something, but all he got were people shaking their head, looking at him with pity, as they continued their daily affairs.
What?
Soon, his confusion turned to annoyance. And his annoyance turned to something darker. Saltiness.
"What in the actual fuck?" his voice laced with spite. The woman's actions stopped for a second, as her anger had morphed into momentary shock. She had never heard Naruto swear. At least, not to her. And that tone he'd used. It wasn't a tone Naruto used at all. Kakashi and Sasuke thought so as well, they had arrived to see the punch, and so of course they observed their teammate's reaction. They had anticipated a cry, a whine.
But not this.
'Do you just randomly go around punching people for no apparent reason?" he muttered loudly as he got back on his feet. It was then, that many took note of his appearance. It was as though he'd matured overnight. The short male had grown exponentially, his height nearly rivaling Kakashi's, and his baby fat seemed to have disappeared, leaving behind, handsome features. However, no one could comment on his attractiveness due to the angry look he shot out.
"Dobe… have you been drinking?" Sasuke said with distaste as he smelled a bit of alcohol on the person in question.
"First of all." Naruto started with an annoyed face. "The fuck's a dobe. Second of all, even if I drank, what's it to you"
"Naruto, I think it's important for your team—"
But before Kakashi could complete his sentence, he was cut once more by Naruto's temper.
"…and third of ALL. Who in the flying shit are you? Or you" he pointed to Sasuke. "Or you." He finished by poking Sakura on the forehead. Something she took to great offense.
"Wh-wha— "
"You heard me pinkie." Acting on impulse, Sakura raised her arm once more to show her teammate a piece of her mind, but she was stopped by the following words.
"Go ahead. Hit me. See what'll happen to you once I grab my attorney."
What had happened to her teammate, her friend? Gone was the nice, happy-go lucky, cute ninja. Instead, he was replaced by an insolent, arrogant and taller version of him. Kakashi had tried to talk to him, to try and understand what had caused such a change in character and instead was met with a roll of the eyes. Sakura's patience had thinned once more and she began to scold him like hell. He only turned around and began to walk away from the trio, his attention somewhere else.
However, he never managed to get far enough.
A pair of ANBU materialised themselves in front of the teen, their figures, intimidating to some. However, Naruto just cursed under his breath.
"Uzumaki Naruto, the Hokage has summoned you to his office."
"God!" he yelled. Once again startling many. "I wake up with a hangover that could rival the atomic bomb, in an apartment that seems to have never been used. My phone battery is at 35 per sent and it keeps on dropping. I've already missed like five calls from my sister which means that I'm gonna get one hell of an ass whoopin. Then I realize I don't have any other clothes to dress in since, oh my god, I remember. I'm not in my freaking home! So I get the fuck out and realize that I'm miles away from New fucking York. Now here I am in fucking Japan-land, where the main attractions are people with a tacky sense of style and bitches who like punching people in the goddamn face first thing in the morning—"
Kakashi tried to intervene but was smoothly cut.
"And so now here I am, in the middle of fucking nowhere. With no portable charger, my bag is gone, I smell like fucking oranges which isn't bad or anything but still! I haven't eaten breakfast yet. I swear to god that I'm not high or stoned because I didn't even smoke that much yesterday and now I'm scared that I'll have a freaking STD because the girl I hooked up with seems to have a fucking kink for unhygienic, dusty apartments that smell like rotten eggs!"
Sakura was speechless, she didn't expect to hear... well, that. Kakashi was confused, he had so much to digest in the shortest amount of time. Sasuke was just wondering whether or not his friend had lost it. And by the outburst he just heard, he could honestly say that Naruto had a few screws loose.
'Uzumaki-sa—"
"Just take me to this freaking Hokage of yours…" the teen muttered before he walked ahead of the elite ninjas, aimlessly.
Hiruzen Sarutobi liked solving problems.
It was due to that that he'd been dubbed as the Professor of Shinobi. He knew how to solve mysteries. However, the blond standing in front of him proved to be quite an enigma to figure.
"That crazy bastard, just wait until I get your hands on you…" the person said as she tapped her foot on the floor impatiently.
This was going to be a tough problem to solve, that enough he knew.
Notes: This is a different AU. So Sarutobi is still alive. Naruto isn't hated in the village. Sasuke stays and doesn't run away, and the characters are aged up. Like, late teens.
