Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Carol Pingrey sat at her seat in the classroom, with her elbow on the desk and her head resting in her hand. She glanced at the clock and watched as the seconds passed by, probably for longer than she should have. Normally, she didn't mind paying her full attention in class. In fact, she usually enjoyed it! Any self-respecting person should be able to enjoy the privilege and human right that is education. But alas, she was no angel. Unreasonable as it may seem, sometimes it felt as though the world was going out of its way to make her life as difficult as possible. And in this case, there were just some things that could never keep her attention, no matter how hard she tried.
A student stood in front of the classroom, addressing the crowd with a one hundred word monologue that he clearly did not put any thought or effort into. First of all, he held a flash card in his hand, one of the many indicators of how little he cared. If he couldn't be arsed to remember a one hundred word monologue, just how much effort could have went into the rest? Apparently just as little, considering how low and monotone his delivery was. She could swear he was actively trying to sound as uninteresting as possible. There was absolutely no reason for her to try and decipher his garbled message. Not that it mattered anyway; why should anyone care what you have to say if you don't look like you care?
Carol barely glossed over the student as she glanced around for anything to keep herself occupied. She took note of her teacher, the man clearly trying not to fall asleep(he was really good at hiding it though!). The students surrounding her, many of whom were texting on their phones. Heck, even the pencil in her hand was infinitely more interesting than the person in front of her! She started tapping her pencil lightly against the desk, feeling for the ever so slight recoil the rubber eraser provided upon impact. All the words going in through one ear, and out the other. At least the pencil provided a visible change of pace. Or, well, anything visibly noticeable at all. The student talking was basically noise. She didn't have anything against him personally, really she didn't! But that was no excuse to not call someone's presentation out for what it was: completely boring.
Suddenly, the classroom burst into applause, causing Carol's head to jolt back upright. A half second of panic later, she quickly joined in on the classwide gesture, as half-hearted as it may have been. Slow clap and an eye-roll. Of course, it wasn't like everyone else particularly liked it either, assuming they were all persons of culture. Hard to say, not everyone was as high of an academic achiever as Carol was. But really, that guy wasn't setting a high bar. Did he really deserve this feigned applause and praise? Probably not, but she wasn't above politeness and basic human decency.
"Thank you Cody," the teacher at the desk said, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "That was quite something."
Yeah, that was quite something. And it definitely wasn't good.
Cody stuffed his hands in his pockets and hung his head down as he made his way towards the back of the class. Oh, he knew alright. He definitely knew.
The teacher put his glasses back on and adjusted himself, now sitting upright and gesturing to his side. "Now, last but not least for our presentations, we have Carol Pingrey! Give her a round of applause!"
Eeeee! That was her cue! She dropped her pencil and stood up from her seat, just barely stopping herself from running up the proverbial stage as she proudly strutted to the front of the classroom. There, she turned to face the students in 'standard position'. Feet shoulder length apart, hands at her sides, and a smile of confidence she wore in sunshine and rain. There she stood, basking in the glory of the thunderous applause she received from her fellow classmates. She loved presenting, she loved being the center of attention. Damn if the teacher told them to applause, she knew they loved her!
"Thank you, thank you," Carol said with feigned modesty. "For my one hundred word monologue today, I'm going to talk about the importance of pride."
Just then, off the corner of her eye, Carol caught an eye roll from a classmate, accompanied with a barely audible scoff. She turned to see where it came from, tracing it back to a certain blonde girl on the front row wearing a light blue tank top and blue eyeshadow. This girl - what was her name, Lori? She was vaguely familiar, Carol remembered her being on the varsity golf team when they were freshman (she was still lowkey salty over not making it, ugh). Yeah, she had seen Lori around before, but they never properly interacted. She was just someone that was on and off in her life, one of many hundreds of people that Carol would always see.
But that scoff and eye roll though? That was a reason for Lori to become relevant. Suffice it to say, that really irritated her. Seriously, what was that? Lori may think she's slick, but nothing went past Carol.
With her eyes just barely twitching, Carol did her best to maintain her composure. Despite this little gripe nagging her in the back of her mind, she could at least make it through this one hundred word monologue. It would be a cakewalk. Deep breaths. Whew. She actually took a few, in through the nose and out through the mouth before starting.
"Pride. Whether we admit it or not, pride is a trait we all have in common."
Loud and clear, with an assertive tone to accompany it. Pacing on point. Hand gestures reinforcing the message, with her holding a palm out and smacking a fist in it. Right from the beginning, she had absolutely nailed the definition of a good presentation.
"In fact, pride is something we need," she continued. "We all like to think positively of ourselves. We are the protagonist of our own story, and the protagonist is someone we always root for. It's important to have pride in ourselves and our works, because our sense of accomplishment is what gives ourselves purpose."
Not once during the monologue did she ever waver or falter. She held her head high and addressed everyone as if they were in a direct conversation. She knew exactly what her message was and how to convey it. Nothing could get in her way!
Well, nothing except Lori. Carol caught a glimpse of her slumping in her arms, resting her head on the desk and visibly not paying attention. There was something about Lori's demeanor that was really unsettling to her. Sure, she might have given a bit of an attitude in the beginning. But to be ignored… that wasn't even annoying. That was unsettling.
Shaking the thought from her mind, she finished the rest of her monologue. "We are in constant pursuit of our life goals, and it's good to remind yourself that you can reach them. You're important. What you do is important. Take some pride in it!"
With a quick bow of her head, the room burst into applause, and Carol once again relished being the center of attention. All these people coming together to show support… they didn't have to say anything. They loved her and she knew it.
After the clapping died down, Carol strutted back towards her seat, this time sitting upright with her hands clasped on the table and her full attention towards the front of the classroom. The teacher, who was also sitting properly until now, had just stood up from his desk, and began to address his students.
"Thank you all for your wonderful presentations today," he thanked them. "You all did a wonderful job with your benchmarks, and I'm really excited to see your progress throughout the year!"
Yeah sure, she didn't mind the formalities. Of course he was praising everyone. What else was he supposed to say? That the guy before her totally bombed his presentation? No… perhaps that was giving him too much credit.
"Now, enjoy the rest of your day. Class dismissed!"
With that, the room was suddenly filled with the sounds of shuffling papers and writing utensils as students frantically stuffed their bags to jettison from the dreaded school environment. Carol was above that however; she may have a lot to do today, but that didn't mean she had to stoop to their level. Instead, she closed her notebook, put her writing utensils in her pencil case, then neatly and carefully put both of those inside her purse before standing up and making her way before the door (yes, she pushed the chair in!)
"Great job Carol!" a student said. There was no need to turn and see who that was, though she did get a glimpse off the corner of her eye.
"You're a good presenter!" Another student added.
Carol wasn't afraid to admit it: hearing these compliments gave her a ridiculous sense of pride and accomplishment, much like what she outlined in her monologue. It was one thing to know that her work was nothing short of excellent. But to hear people tell her these things? Gosh, she loved that.
"Thank you," she would say, again with the same feigned modesty. A few other students would come by and express their regards, with Carol acknowledging their blessings every time. It was important for a benevolent queen like herself to let her supporters knew that she heard them!
But as Carol reached the door, she saw Lori speed walking and escaping through the door, with not a single bit of acknowledgement given to Carol at all.
Lori… that was the girl from earlier. Look at that, just zipping right past as if she didn't notice Carol right about to leave the room. She scoffed as she shook her head and left the classroom, following a familiar end of the school day routine. Wander through the hallway, push past the bustling crowds and beeline towards her locker.
What was her deal? How absolutely rude of her, she had the nerve to roll her eyes and bury her head in her arms while Carol was giving a presentation. Disrespectful. Pfft. It's not like Carol would have the same type of disrespect. She clapped along with everyone else when it came time to applause, and she didn't necessarily say anything bad to his face. Though, she did have a lot of trouble paying attention to a lot of the presentations. Her mind did start wandering all over the place, and she couldn't help but rest her heavy head against her hand…
Suddenly, Carol grinded to a halt in the middle of the hallway, her mind frozen at the realization she had made just now.
What about the presentation before her own, where she didn't even bother paying attention? When she mentally criticized every little minor fault of his? Her blatant display of apathy playing with her pencil, not facing the presenter's direction, the fake applause as the snoozefest finally ended? Wasn't that basically what Lori did? How was Carol any different from that?
Well, it's not like she had to like everything, right? She knew what a good presentation looked like and if someone couldn't keep her attention for long, then that was entirely on them! Yeah! It was that kid's fault for being uninteresting! He just had to get on her level! She was completely justified!
Carol smirked as she arrived at her locker and entered her combination. It eventually opened, and she started putting her books inside, her confidence slowly returning and resting assured that she didn't do anything wrong.
Carol now walked on the sidewalk as she made her daily trip home, still gripping her purse tightly to herself and holding her head up high. A lot of her classmates had cars to drive or got a ride, but not her. She actually had class. Only she could truly appreciate the atmosphere around her. The cool autumn breeze, the leaves changing colors by the days, the way they rustled against each other, the beauty of nature was surely one to behold. It was nice to get a break from all the chaos that went on in the high school. No presentations to give, no tests to pass, no image to uphold, sure she'd have to do them eventually, but she could at least pretend for 15 minutes, right?
Yeah… she could pretend. Like she could pretend Cody's assignment wasn't a death sentence of boredom. Or that Lori didn't totally ignore her during her own presentation. Nah, Lori didn't roll her eyes and totally diss her as soon as she got up was just tired and put her head down, nothing personal!
The pleasant autumn breeze turned into a shiver-inducing chill, while goosebumps started forming on her skin. Somehow, Lori had wormed her way into her thoughts again. If it was Cody's fault that she was bored to death, then whose fault was it that Lori couldn't be bothered to pay attention?
She didn't want to admit it to herself, but perhaps there was something about herself that couldn't keep Lori's attention or interest.
Carol talked about pride, and she did try her best to maintain that image. She really was proud of herself and everything she did! But beneath that self-important exterior, there was a softer, fragile part of her that was never truly sure of herself. Lori had struck a nerve that hit her in the most unsuspecting manner. In the vast sea of praise and self-importance, it only took one dissenting opinion to hone into her innermost insecurities: that she wasn't perfect, or the absolute best.
Eventually, Carol started hearing a familiar noise from up ahead, where she saw the elementary school in the distance. For a few minutes at least, she could enjoy the liveliness the children added to the cool autumn atmosphere as she walked by. Sure, there were several bursting out the front doors, rushing to get home and leave their day of education behind them. But the most enjoyable part to her was watching as the kids rushed over to the nearby playground. The children all screamed gleefully as they chased each other, rocked on the seesaws, took turns on the tire swings, and hung from monkey bars, free from any responsibilities or consequences. They were just here to have fun and be kids. They were there to be themselves.
"Wanna go on the seesaw with me?" She saw a kid ask.
"Sure!" Another replied, and just like that, they'd hop on the seesaw, giggling as they rocked up and down with not a care in the world.
Carol couldn't help but sigh longingly as she passed by the playground, reminiscing in what used to be. Once upon a time, she also played there with the same carefree attitude the children did now. There was a time where the only thing she ever had to worry about was having fun. Now, her life was so needlessly complicated. It was difficult being class president, having the highest grade in her classes, and juggling all her extracurricular activities at the same time. There was so much pressure to be the best at everything! Before, it was just about getting to use the swings first. Now, it was about social status. High school was a cutthroat environment where your very being depended on being well-liked and respected.
Couldn't she go back to simpler times? Back when being nice consisted of saying "please" and "thank you"? Back when she didn't have responsibilities? These kids, they didn't know just how good they have it. They didn't have any of the pressures she did. Not like they were getting any younger either. Sooner or later, they'd eventually be subjected to the curse of adolescence, and there was no going back.
But hey, they still had time, right?
With that, she eventually passed by the park and now walked in front of the school door, just barely making it past the crowd and getting on her way.
However, as soon as she emerged, she paused, eyes widened and jaws dropped at what she saw ahead of her.
There was Lori, that girl who kept nagging at the back of her mind ever since that time in class. But this was not the same person that groaned and rolled her eyes earlier. This person stood in front of a a large battered van, enough to fit two or three families inside. There were four teenagers already in the van, all of which looked vaguely familiar to her. There was that girl with the sunglasses and seafoam dress, there was the rocker girl with unflattering attire (but at least her color scheme was nice), and the girl with a light brown ponytail she occasionally heard terrible jokes from. There was also some brunette with a ponytail which she didn't recognize, but maybe if she squinted a bit-
Oh shoot! What if Lori saw her? She instinctively jumped behind a tree, hopefully before Lori caught wind of her staring at them for too long. She could not let herself get caught staring. If Lori had issues with her, then she was not about to make them even worse by being lowkey stalkerish.
But as crude as her camouflage was, she couldn't help but poke her head out from the side to watch what was going on with her disrespecting classmate. Having four other siblings was probably out of the ordinary, but it wasn't insane or anything. But the real point of intrigue came when Carol saw five other kids approaching the van as well, all of them with vastly different impressions of their own. There was a boy (the only boy actually), donning snow white hair while staring down a video game console he fiddled with in his hands. The goth girl next to him was, well, goth. Ew. As if that couldn't get any worse, she saw a girl in red cap and overalls chewing on something that literally looked like it came out of a trash can. There was also a girl in sparkling pink attire walking next to her, rather prim and proper to contrast the grodiness. Finally, there was a small girl wearing a green turtleneck sweater and oversized glasses, staring down at a physics book. Pfft, where'd she get that? Probably trying to look smarter than she actually was, the book just made her look needlessly pretentious.
"How was your day?" Lori asked.
"Oh, it was awesome!" she heard the boy respond. "Me and Clyde did really well on our science project!"
"I'm glad to hear that," Lori said with a smile.
"Thanks so much for helping me Lori! You're the best!"
With that, Lori and the boy both exchanged a brief hug, before he broke part and opened the van door to hop inside.
Carol took a breather at that, thinking about what she saw. Yes, she was familiar with Lori and the girls in the van, but it never occurred to her that they could be related, considering how different they were in appearance and personality. But the crazy part? There were ten in the van. Ten total children and teenagers, with Lori leading them all.
The other kids started talking about their day as they climbed onto the van, and Lori eventually closed the door behind them. She opened the door to the driver's seat and hopped on as well, all with a look of satisfaction and care on her face. A quick glance at the children in the back and a friendly reminder to put on a seatbelt later, Lori put the car in gear and drove away.
Carol watched from behind the tree as she saw the car disappear into the distance, the chatter within growing more and more distant by the second. She couldn't quite put her finger on why, but something about this all made her feel super warm and fuzzy inside. Something about the happiness and positivity radiating from the crowd, the excitement emanating from all the kids, it made her feel all these things as well.
But the part that resonated with her the most was how Lori treated them all. This was not the same person that rolled her eyes and buried her head against the desk earlier. This was a kind and caring Lori. This was someone that people looked up to, who helped people she cared about, who always checked to see if everyone was okay, and cared for their happiness. The love that she shared in her words and her hug, Carol felt that all the way from here. She had to put a hand to her chest and sigh lovingly at that. It was unlike anything she had ever seen or felt before.
Yes, she always sorta knew Lori existed. But all this time, she was nonexistent at best and a mild nuisance at most, whether it be stealing varsity golf team privileges or giving her the stink eye while presenting. But what she saw just now was a greater achievement for Lori than any other. The applause Carol received, the numerous compliments for her impeccable presentation, none of those made her feel the same way Lori did just now.
What was this feeling? Could Carol be doing better?
What did Lori have that she didn't?
