"Our greatest condolences," said one of the soldiers', clammed in a stark white uniform, expecting for them to be allowed entrance. They seemed to understand that they were the last thing anyone wanted to see, and certainly not expected when Yusho opened the door that morning.
'So, this is it.' That was the only thought that crossed his mind after recovering from the double-take.
Everything afterwards was done in almost quiet efficiency. The Special Operative soldiers – and so young, barely graduated it seemed – denied his offering for some tea or coffee and went straight to business: some scouts had found what was believed to be a belonging of Yoko's, and they needed his confirmation to close the case file.
He swallowed over and over while they opened the package to reveal a piece of white cloth, and his anniversary gift: her Pendulum.
One minute, two minutes, and he swallowed what felt like a rock.
"Sir, we will understand if you need a couple minutes to gather yourself. There is still plenty of… paperwork to go through," one of them said. His bright blue eyes caught his attention but only because it was the same shade as the jewel. Other than those at the moment he felt as if he was seeing through a filter. Everything looked white, black and blurry and then his vision started to spin, however he looked at the moment. It seemed to worry the soldiers as they got up their seats to assault him with questions, but he didn't answer.
Everything was muffled as if he was drowning.
Then, as if fate was trying to add salt to the injury, there was that particular creaking their wooden door always made.
"Dad, I'm home!" Even Yuya's voice sounded slightly out of tune for him, and his bright hair, clothes and smile almost blinded him.
He was barely done with kicking off his shoes at the entrance when he caught sight of the soldiers in the living room, and his eyes moved to the glint on the coffee table.
Then, Yuya also became part of the monochrome setting.
Yusho saw the way he left his backpack all but forgotten at the entrance and stormed over to the soldiers. It seemed like he was talking or yelling. He didn't know his voice joining the nonsensical noise assaulted his ear drums. He saw Yuya grab the Pendulum and push past the soldiers to disappear upstairs.
"Mr. Sakaki? Are you listening?" he heard the blue-eyed ask.
"Y-yes, I am."
"Good, I apologize then for causing such a disturbance in your home. We were just doing our jobs," he finished.
"I understand," he lied. He didn't understand, he only realized now that he never did. Over ten years of marriage with Yoko had not helped.
"We will be back in the village until noon next week. Please be sure to contact me when or if you feel ready to fill out some reports."
"I will," he responded gripping his knees.
...
"Yuya, can I come in?" The question was met with silence, but as he tried to press his ear to the door, he almost tripped: the door was open.
And there his boy was slumped, over himself on top of the bed. The quiet sobs he heard were enough to make him regret coming in at a bad time, but it was too late for Yuya had noticed him.
"Mom… won't come back home?" he asked with his head still hung low.
"I'm afraid not." He neared the bed and sat on the corner, wondering if he could hold Yuya. He looked like he needed it; they both did.
"Why did she leave us again?" he asked. "If she didn't leave…"
"You shouldn't think like that. If you only think on the 'ifs' you'll drive yourself mad."
"…" The only answer was muffled sounds of hopefully understanding.
"And you know why she had to leave," he started. "It was an important mission, that's why she was called, remember? Mommy is a hero." He wished he could believe it. He still remembered the argument over said mission.
'Why don't you understand? I'm only one who can do this!'
…And it seemed to have a similar effect on Yuya as he delved into another crying fit. He was easier to placate when he was little. He had never been prone to tantrums either; no, that would come later. Right now, he needed reassurance, consolation, anything.
A treacherous thought crossed his mind then: with Yoko gone – this time for good – who would ever console him now? His eyes landed on the Pendulum which Yuya was still holding in his hand.
"You know what I told your mother when I gave this to her?" he asked, gently removing the necklace from the boy's hands. "I told her that she was just like a Pendulum." Even without looking at his face, Yusho could feel the child's plaintive look, asking for answers. "Remember how she was always full of energy? But she once told me what she thought was her greatest weakness: she didn't know how to use it. It was unfocused, waiting for a direction; a purpose. That's why she became a huntress, but even then she thought herself a fraud for letting people think she never had doubts or fears. So I gave her this and I told her: like a Pendulum, if you swing forward you'll end up swinging back too. It's normal for it to happen, but it's better than not doing anything at all."
"So… Mom was a hero not because she was fearless, but because she was always doing good things for other people?" Yuya asked, a little more composed it seemed.
"Yes, exactly. If you curl because of fear, you won't be able to do anything. The more courage you put into things, the more happiness you'll get out of them."
"…And I can be like that too?" Yuya asked, scooping closer to him. Like mom, he meant. So Yusho grabbed him into a hug before answering.
"Of course you can! And Mom would be so proud too," he answered, holding the child close to him. Yuya seemed to relax at his words and let himself be coddled for a few minutes, then he peeked up from the tight embrace, a question in his eyes.
"So can I be a Huntsman too?!" he asked, eyes still watery and red rimmed from tears. He should just answer yes, or maybe a non-committal 'maybe' or 'If you work hard enough,' but all Yusho felt was his stomach dropping to his feet as he put some distance between him and Yuya in order to look him straight in the eye.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
Just as the negative words slipped past his lips, he saw Yuya tearing himself from him, betrayal in his eyes.
...
'Why did it turn out this way?'
He was almost there, the tips of his fingers barely brushing against the scroll until he could finally grab it.
It felt like forever for the call to get through.
"Yusho? What is the matter?" asked Shuzo on the other end of the line.
"Yuya, is in the forest, you got to find him. He… he ran away," he explained with a croaky voice, the weight on his mid-side made him talk slower too.
"What?! Ok give me a minute and I'll alert the Scouts." And then the call was over, leaving him alone with his thoughts again.
Now he only needed to make a call to the ER.
As he explained the situation to the IA on the phone, he looked around the room. The bed had been turned over, the window broken where Yuya had jumped from, and there were pieces of broken stuff all over the floor.
Oh right, and there was a night stand resting on his lower half… maybe his leg was broken.
"PLEASE STAND BY AND WAIT FOR THE AMBULANCE TO ATTEND TO YOU. DON'T TRY TO MOVE, I REPEAT DON'T TRY TO MOVE OR FIX YOUR INJURY IN THEIR ABSENCE."
Why did it turn out this way?
...
"That will be all. Thank you for meeting with me," he said to the man. "You need to give these papers to the local Social Security office, so you can start getting your compensation ASAP," he added and immediately regretted it as the polite smile fell from his face.
"Thank you," he simply said, and Edo wondered if he should feel guilty over the gratefulness of not being on the receiving end of a rant.
"I meant it," he continued to the now widowed man. "When I offered my condolences, Yoko was one of the greatest huntresses Remnant had ever been graced with. She will be severely missed and hard to replace," he finished.
"Please, I will be more thankful if you spare me and my son of these honor bound customs. We will attend the official ceremony but that will be all. And I beg you to keep my family out of this whole hunter's business from now on," he said, face downcast.
Edo, for his part, was livid. He didn't care that this man was Yoko's husband, nor that he was mourning. He would not allow such disrespect to his kin.
"I will choose to overlook that childish retort, Mr. Sakaki, because of the current circumstances, but if you happen to make such comments at the ceremony, we will not hesitate to remove you from it."
He was caught off-guard by a low chuckle.
"It's funny, you know? She used to call me childish, too, whenever I tried to talk her out of what I believed was a dangerous mission, and now here we are, filling 'casual notification' papers over her death, and you are worried about protocol? About finding Yoko's replacement? I think I'd rather be childish," he said with another chuckle, and Edo was rather thankful for his training because he could feel the bile rising in his throat.
But also the embarrassed blush starting to form at the base of his nape.
"You dare to…? I understand that you must be grieving Mr. Sakaki, but I will not have disrespecting the very duty your wife died upholding. What would you have us do then? Close the Academies? Let the walls down so the Grimms can roam free? You owe that very life of yours, of your precious son, to the work of people like Yoko."
Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say. With great effort, Yusho Sakaki stood up, grabbed his cane, and opened the door.
"If you understood, you wouldn't talk like that and …I'm afraid I cannot give you the answer you want."
That was the first of many times Edo's night was robbed of sleep.
Welp that was quite a downer wasn't it, I promise not all of them will be like that.
For those who may be wondering, Yuya is 12 in this, Yoko had already gone missing, but there was actual confirmation of her death just yet ...although Yusho already expected it.
