Elsa's Got A Gun
A Morbid Song Fic in the LGOVerse
The Usual Disclaimers Apply
"Test mike, test one, two, three… all right… yatte yaruze…"
The man in black raised the mike to his lips. He hummed.
Elsa's got a gun
Elsa's got a gun
Henrietta's on the run
Fermi's dialin' 911
What made Elsa snap?
Was she tired of Lauro's crap?
They said when Elsa was discovered,
They found Lauro lifeless in the park
I hear Elenora's really runnin'
Now that Elsa's got a gun,
The streets never gonna be the same...
Elsa's got a gun
Elsa's got a gun
Jose's head has come undone.
Rome, Italy's not real fun–
Glass shattered as a pitcher took a .22LR bullet in its gut, the shooter being stingy regarding the much more expensive (not to mention venerated almost to a religious intensity) .45 ammo.
You want me to walk around Rome, Italy without a bulletproof vest?! Forget about it!
"Well?" the ebullient Rolito Miranda asked his audience. He held a karaoke microphone in his left hand and a smoking Ruger Mk II compact pistol in his right.
"You're an asshole, Rouge," Jeremy Colt growled over yet another handful of painkillers downed with Coke Zero. "You know that?"
"Sensei," Giuseppe groaned. "You sang well, but your taste in songs is terrible…"
"But I like Sesame Street!" both Chloe and Elena protested.
Rolito shrugged. "Some people just don't appreciate black humor. Well, who's next?"
"Me." Colt grumpily grabbed the mike.
"Excellent. The next song is especially for you."
"Huh?"
Am I blue?
Am I blue?
Ain't these tears
In these eyes
Telling you
"You're an asshole, Rouge."
"Jeremy, your language…"
And the karaoke party went on.
In a certain park in Rome, the ghost of Elsa de Sica shivered. She had a feeling someone ought to be shot.
Author's Note: Jeremy Colt courtesy Person With Many Aliases. Chloe from Noir. This fic was inspired by the Weird Al Yankovic song Elmo's Got A Gun, which was in turn inspired by Aerosmith's Janie's Got A Gun. Colt's "song" is Am I Blue by Billie Holiday– totally not like the hit man on point. :))
