7/9/01

7/9/01

Unspoken Thoughts

Cynic X

Hi everyone thanks for reading my stories. I don't won generation X, marvel does, and I am really pissed that they canceled their book. I was ecstatic when I found out that Jono wasn't going into oblivion, but was fuming at the way they totally disregard his character and turned him into a teenage letch. Anywayz, Just a note, some of this is taken from Generation X #75. (Not too much, just the dialogue between Jubilee and Jono when she find the letter). Thanks for reading my story, and Enjoy!

Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters

1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center

Westchester, N.Y.

Dear Mr. Jonothon Starsmore

There is a point in our lives where the preset is not sufficient for the future. With this, it is in my greatest please to welcome you to the X-men. As a member, you are among a select group chosen to preserve peace among humans and homo-superior. You have worked hard as a student at the Massachusetts Academy, and as a member of Generation X. The next step would for you to learn greater control of your gifts as a valued member on the senior team. In the future, you will be able to venture out into a world where you can be part of without being hated and feared. Control is the key; it isn't a cure, but a solution for your powers. I hope that you will find the rest of the X-Men willing to work with you whether in the Danger Room or in the field. Once again, welcome, you have earned your place, now it is the time to fill it. Enclosed is a train ticket from Boston to New York. I hope to see you and look forward to having you accept your new position.

Sincerely

Charles Xavier

************************************************************************

…Bloody Hell… Jono moaned telepathically. Today had been a rather

good day. No enemies had popped up, and it was nice for once to enjoy a normal, if that was even possible, day at the Academy. That was, until the mail had come. Jubilee, like always raced down to the mailbox to see if a letter from Wolverine had come. Today, she was lucky; sure enough there was a letter from Wolverine, and another one from Westchester addressed to me. With Jubes so excited about her letter, she gave me mine without further comment, which, with Jubes was rare. I went down to the basement, not really wanting anyone around when I opened the letter. I had no idea of what it was, and maybe if I did, I would have burned it. I made my way down the steps, and threw myself on the dust old couch down there, after shutting off the light, trying as hard as possible to keep away all unwanted company. I undid the first couple wraps, so that a small amount of light escaped from my own personal bio-chemical furnace, just enough so that I could read. After I read the first couple of sentences, I gasped.

'Xavier wants me to be an X-Man?' I thought to myself as I continued to read. 'I was just starting to fit in here, and now I am being shipped out. Great.' I mumbled inwardly as I continued reading. 'I know it's an honor to be a member of the X-Men, but how will I fit in? They are older than me, and will probably consider me a kid. Will the others accept me? I've only met them a couple of times, and aren't really close to any of them. Why didn't the Professor send Jubes this letter? Why me? Out of all the members of Generation X, why was I chosen to graduate?' Was this really the path that was placed before me? 'Maybe Xavier is right. Maybe he can help me to control my powers, where I can walk down the street and not be started at. But is that worth all the friendships I have made?'

Jono put down the letter, but continued to stare at it. He knew that other members of the team were ready to move on, and if they did, where would that leave him. He couldn't go home, back to England, where would he go, what would he do. He didn't want to change the life he had now, but for how much longer would this life last?

He heard sound from outside his door, and hid the letter under another stack of papers that was research for a paper for English. 'No one will look for it there.' He thought, as his door was thrown open, and he was hit with an onslaught of light.

Don't you ever knock Jubilee? Jono asked, as he wrapped himself up again.

"Whatever. Hey Jono, were upstairs having a video game war, whoever wins moves on, want to play?" Jubes asked, as she practically bounced off the walls.

'Note to self, sugar and Jubilee are a lethal combination.' Jono thought, as he considered his options. With a mental sigh, he replied.

Okay, I'll go watch you play.

"Yeah! Jono's in, gotta go look for Angelo. Have you see the human rubber band around?" She asked from the top stair.

No, sorry luv, I haven't

"That's okay, come on we gotta move!" Jubes said as she took off in the direction of the rec room.

With one last look at the pile of papers, Jono decided to enjoy whatever time he had left with the people, who had became more than just a teammate to him. 'I'm moving on, and they are being left behind.' And with that thought, he made his way to the rec room pushing the thoughts as far away as possible.

***

One week later…

"What?" Jubilee exclaimed.

"Oh come off it Monet. Why would Emma do that?" Angelo asked. The group was gathered in the rec room, and their focus was now on Monet, who had just run into the room.

"And why would the cops be asking Emma about Adrienne's money?" Paige asked.

"I have my suspicions. I wonder if Emma told us the whole truth about what went down between her and Adrienne. Monet said.

With that I decided to leave the room. Truth is, I really didn't care what happened between Emma and her sister. Both were exactly the same, and sooner or later one of them was going to get hurt. All week I had been bothered by that bloody letter. I never told anyone about it. How will the others take it? Will they consider me a traitor?

I made my way down to the basement to think about what I was going to do. I need to make a decision, even though I would have liked to put it off longer. I sat down on my bed, and pulled the letter out from among the other papers. Turing on the lamp next to my bed, I read the letter slowly again, letting each word sink in. I was too deep in thoughts to hear the footsteps outside my door until it was too late. The door swung open with a bang.

"Jonothon Starsmore!" Jubilee yelled at the top of her lungs. I tried to hide the letter under my bed praying that the overly hyper girl wouldn't notice it.

"I hear your Kung Fu is most strong!" she said.

What do you want Jubilee? I asked, unenthusiastically.

She pulled out of her position, as something caught her eye.

"Hey! I recognize that! That letterhead, it's from Xavier's!"

Shut up Jubilee! I said, I tried to push the letter further under the pillow.

She caught on to what I was doing, and ran over to the bed and pulled it out from its hiding spot. I tried to make a grab at it, put I was greeted by a hand in my face.

"Relax Jono. What's the problem? So someone at Xavier's sent you a letter. Big deal. Logan writes me sometimes." She said as she unfolded it. "Who's it from?"

With a sigh, I replied telepathically. Charles Xavier himself actually.

"Xavier wrote you?" Jubes asked stunned, I tried to make get the letter back, but all I did was get smacked up side the head from Jubilee.

Oof! Jubilee! I screamed. She stilled had the letter, and I knew that my secret was blown.

"Wow, Lemme read!" She said, as her eyes scanned the letter. "Wow, Jono. I don't believe this!" She said as she started to jump up and down. "Hell, Yeah! Jono's gonna be an X-Man! This is so cool!"

I just sit there, looking at the floor and feeling the fear and guilt swell up inside of me. 'Sure it is an honor to be an X-Man, but Generation X were my family. It was just starting to feel like home, and now I have to be ripped away. Why did they pick me? Out of all of Generation X, why me? I never tried to be an X-Man. What do I have to offer that the others don't? I would have thought it would have been Paige to get to wear the uniform, never in a million years me.' I was broken out of my thought as Jubilee placed her hand on my shoulder.

"What's wrong? You should be thrilled! I know I would be." She said with a smile. I sat there and said nothing.

"Hey, Jono."

What… I reply, never looking up.

"Don't you wanna go?" Jubilee asks seriously for the first time since she entered.

'Do I want to go?' That was the question that was plaguing me for the last week. If I went, I left everything behind that I have with Generation X. But if I go, who knows what possibilities are out there. In that second I made up my mind.

Yes. I do.

"Then what's the problem?" Jubilee says with a smile. "If you are feeling like you aren't ready, like you can't handle it, or are guilty that they picked you and not Paige or M, don't be. Xavier's a smart guy; he picked you for a reason. So stop kicking yourself and accept already."

Do you think that's the right thing to do? I ask her, fully knowing that this is Jubilee I'm dealing with, but right know, I need someone else opinion, and Jubilee was a member, and she was my best bet.

"You'll never know if you don't go." She said. "Don't worry about us. We'll come visit you, and no one will have hard feelings, trust me. They'll all be happy for you."

Thanks Jubilee. Knowing that she had said what I needed to hear.

"So accept the damn thing already, and stop worrying so much about us, and start looking forward to where you are going." She says happily, as she goes to exit the room.

Jubilee, when did you become an expert on these sort of things? I ask, as I catch up with her.

"Hey, don't let anyone know I can be serious, it'll ruin my reputation!" She says as she takes off down the hall. "And Jono, I get to tell everyone first!" She yells back, as I hear her scream at the top of her lungs, "Jono's off to the Mansion!"

'Same old Jubilee.' I think as I run to catch up with her.

Two weeks later…

Everyone's gathered outside as they come to see me off.

"It's pretty weird. I mean, it's not like I thought I would be with you guys forever or anything, but I never imagined myself saying goodbye to any of you." Angelo says as he shakes my hand. 'Time for good-byes' I think, as I look at the faces gathered around me. We went through some of the toughest times together, encouraging each other, until we grew into the people here today.

"Bye Jono, have fun!" Jubes says as she embraces me with a hug.

Take care. Come visit me all right? I ask as I get into the taxi that is taking me to the train station. With a final wave of my hand, I take one last look at the faces gathered to see me off, and realize that this is probably the last time I'll see them gathered here together. The taxi starts and I watch the driveway until I can no longer make out any details.

'Maybe someone is seeing something I never saw, and if I don't follow it, I might be making the biggest mistake of my life.' I still have all the memories we've shared, and can only hope that we'll keep in touch.

End 7/31/01