AN: HI All

AN: HI All. Have not been writing here for awhile! I recently started working on a book- thing… Oo. Go Me! Well, this story's gonna be a pure crack fic. I was thinking about the Van Helsing movie, and thought "Why not??" LOL, Imagination knos no limits, I guess. Here it goes. WARNING: OOC-NESS IS ABOUND!

Bella: ThePureLily does not own Stephenie Meyer or Edward for that matter. glares at ThePureLily

ThePureLily: Wuddid I do?? He's a bishounen! complains

Narrator: It was a normal day at the Cullen house. Bella and Edward were arguing about Bella's transformation, Jasper was going crazy with all of the mixed emotions at the home, Rosalie was complaining of a stomachache-

Rosalie: NO I'm NOT! I-I'm just.. err… Primping myself…!!

Narrator: Continuing. Emmet was laughing at Rosalie's expression and Alice… Wait! Where's Alice??

Alice: Over here, Bob!

(Alice jumps in front of the narrator, chasing him away to be gone for a LONG time. He took up a par-time job at PetsMart.)

Emmett: Rosalie.. pfft… Face… HAHA… omg. ( rofl)

Jasper : (Is running all over the house screaming for everything to stop)

Alice: Okay, Ima gonna go now to the COMPUTER! (starts shopping.)

Rosalie: Gaaaaaah! My STOMACH! My BACKSIDE! Ohhh how could this happen to little ol' me??

Bells: Rosalie, It'll be OK!

Rosalie: NO IT WON'T, BITCH!

Bella: (starts crying, which makes Jasper worse)

Edward: (Turns on his Gandalf backlighting he bought on E-bay) I am GLARING at Rosalie!!

Bella: (starts making out with Edward because her human hormones are being impatient.)

Alice: Edward, watch out, Bella's period is coming again!

Bella/Edward: ALCE! (Bella blushes so red that her face looked like it had been on a grill… or something. If Edward could blush, he would've)

Rosalie: OWW! (She runs to the middle of the room and starts acting like a pregnant Sims 2 character)

-POP-

Emmet: Holy Shit, Rosalie, did you just…

Everyone: O.o

Emmet: … Lay an EGG?

Bella: Okay, now that all this crap is done, Edward, let us go to your room! (wiggles eyebrows)

Edward: As long as you can keep your clothes on… -sweat-

Agsin, just a really random thing I thought up… don't ask. XDD

Oh, I'll have to delete my other un-used stories… man, I sucked at writing then.. . Oops, I had to fix this- I forgot that asterisk-things didn't work!!