A/N: This story takes place during Season One of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman so if you remember Brian was six, Colleen was thirteen and Matthew was sixteen.

"Brian! Brian!" Ma called from her bed, so weak from the rattlesnake bite. Colleen and Matthew were at her side along with Doctor Mike and I was the one she was calling out for.

"I'm here Ma. I'm coming." I started to walk towards the bed but for every step I took two were added to my trip. I kept walking but never caught up to Ma, but she reached out her hand. I tried to touch her hand, but stumbled to reach her.

"Brian." Ma whispered barely able to catch her breath.

"Ma!" I exclaimed. I started running but the faster I ran the further away from her I got. I watched Ma close her eyes from afar and Colleen grab a hold of her and cry. Doctor Mike stood there almost in tears herself. My Ma needed my help but I was unable to help her. I failed my ma by not being there for her.

I woke up in a cold sweat gasping for air when I realized I was in my own bed at Sully's homestead. My hands were clammy and I was covered in sweat.

"Ma!" I exclaimed. Doctor Mike, who I call Ma, rushed in and stood next to the bed. She sat on the bed next to me and tried to hug me, but I pushed her away. I needed my real ma, not her right now. I saw Colleen standing behind Ma so I jumped up, ran over to her and tightly wrapped my arms around her crying.

"Brian, what's the matter?" Colleen asked me. At first I couldn't speak. I buried my face in her nightgown and cried. Finally, I was able to speak. When Colleen looked down at me, her blonde hair fell over her shoulder and almost covered my face. She pushed it back behind her shoulder. "Brian?" She asked again.

"I had a dream. It was horrible." I said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Colleen asked kindly and I shook my head no. "Can you go back to sleep?" She asked wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"Will you stay with me?" I was finally able to mutter.

"I'll stay with you Brian." Doctor Mike replied. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. Then I looked at Colleen and held onto her tightly.

"I want Colleen to stay with me." I replied.

"Alright." She walked back over to her bed.

"What's the matter Brian?" Colleen asked giving me the big sister look that she knows something's going on.

"I miss Ma." I whispered and Colleen helped me back into bed.

"Well so do I, but I thought you loved Doctor Mike?" Colleen asked.

"She's not Ma. I want Ma. Why did she have to die? I need her!" I cried. Colleen hugged me.

"Oh Brian, I have felt the exact same way ever since Ma died. Doctor Mike will never take Ma's place, but she's not asking to." Colleen stated.

"I know. I just want my Ma to be able to hold me and make me feel better."

"What was that dream about Brian?" Colleen smiled and rubbed my cheek.

"I… I saw Ma. She was lying in that bed. It happened all over again, but this time Ma was crying for help. But you and Doctor Mike couldn't help her. She cried out in pain. She cried out for me Colleen. But… but I couldn't reach her. I kept walking, running even, but I never got any closer to the bed." I sobbed. It felt good to be able to release some of that tension inside me.

"Brian-" Colleen hugged me. "It's not your fault Ma died. It's not Doctor Mike's either. I was mad and resentful of her for a long time, but Reverend Johnson show me that God was telling me it wasn't Doctor Mike I was mad at. I still love Ma, but nobody is to blame for her death Brian." Colleen said. I laid there for a long time before I was able to sleep. The last thing I remember was Colleen running her fingers through my hair smiling as I drifted off to sleep.