Down by the water
Lily Evans was the kind of girl that would start a conversation with anyone, and not because she felt it was necessary, no, she would talk to anyone because she wanted to. But, she was also the kind of girl who loved, loved, to spend time alone. Sometimes, well a lot of the time, it was difficult considering the amount of people she knew and the limited amount of places there were in Hogwarts to find peace. After many years of searching, in 6th year she found the perfect spot, hidden from the path most travelled. It was a small area, enclosed by bushes and growth, down by the water. It was hidden away from the path that people walked down, but still close enough to the water that she could watch the sunset reflect it's colors onto the rippled water. It was a Friday night and the sun was about to set when she left the Gryffindor common room and headed down to her sanctuary. It had been a tiring day she reflected while walking. Her best friends Marlene and Alice were still bickering, she still couldn't properly transfigure the lamp and she had a massive headache that wasn't letting up. Because of all this, she sighed in relief as she lay down on the mossy grass and breathed in the fresh air, immediately feeling more relaxed. Once she saw that the sun was beginning to show itself on the water, she sat up and crossed her legs.
She sat in a wonderful silence until she heard a slight rustling coming from her left. Her heart leapt to her throat as she slowly crawled over the sound 'hello?' she called out quietly. There was a pause before the rustling started up, accompanied by muttering of a few words that don't need to be repeated. She frowned at the shrubbery, recognizing the voice but not yet able to put a name to it until 'Potter?' she called out in disbelief. The rustling continued until a body plopped, well to put it nicely, stumbled into the open space and fell onto the grass. She watched as Potter lay on his stomach, his face in the grass as he groaned. She waited patiently until he was done making noises 'are you alright?' he let out a long breath and sat up, fixing his glasses that went askew during his adventure through the shrubbery, he had a few scratches on his face, and his forever messy black hair was even messier. He quickly glanced around the enclosed grassy area, his hazel eyes calculating before he looked over at Lily. James Potter was a boy of many talents. He could burp the national anthem, persuade anyone to do anything, and he was a fabulous quidditch player. But there was one thing that James Potter couldn't overcome, and it was the queasy feeling in his stomach that came every time he looked at Lily Evans, or even heard about her in a passing conversation. 'Been better' he shrugged nonchalantly and stretched out his legs 'nice view.' Lily beamed, happy he understood just how amazing her spot was 'you should see it at sunrise, it's absolutely breath taking the way the sun hits the water, it's-' James bit back a smile 'I was talking about you, but yeah I guess the water's okay.'
Lily glared at him before crawling beside him and leaning back on her hands. She could feel James' proximity through his body heat; it was a mystery how warm that boy always was. She felt slightly uneasy sitting so close to him, they had just months ago agreed on a truce. At first it had been understandably awkward, neither of them knowing how to act since they had gotten so used to bickering every time they were in the same room, but eventually it got natural, and now they were talking with no uncomfortable pauses. Yet Lily still felt conscious of her every move whenever he was around. 'How did you know I was here?' she asked suddenly, as if the thought just occurred to her. James had known that she was bound to ask this question, after all Lily Evans was one of the most predictable people he had ever known, so he had his lie prepared 'I saw you walk down here and I was bored, so I decided to follow' he caught her eye roll and lightly bumped her arm 'I don't know how you get in here, but obviously I came in the wrong way and ended up getting attacked by these fucking bushes' he glanced at her and said quickly 'sorry', aware of her dislike for language. They sat in a comfortable silence before she spoke up 'well I guess this isn't my secret hiding place anymore' and although she said it in a light tone, he could hear the anxiety behind it. 'Well I don't know about you, but I don't plan on telling anyone' she frowned and turned to him 'really?' James swallowed thickly, swearing he wouldn't take advantage of the proximity of their lips 'yeah, I can keep a secret' he shrugged. She laughed, a sound that made a small smile appear on his face, even though she was laughing at his expense 'why do I not believe that?' His mouth fell open 'my friends tell me I'm a great secret-keeper.' She chuckled again but turned away, locking her gaze on the sun that was almost gone now. James glanced at her out of the corner of her eye when she doesn't respond, and feels that queasy feeling once again as he looks at the red and orange reflecting into her bright green eyes, and her red hair falling down her back in light waves that James had always had to refrain himself from touching. And when he finally turned away and watched the sun set with finality, he concluded that she was much more beautiful than any sunset.
I am no damsel in distress
The curfew at Hogwarts was 10:00 pm, but on holidays it stretched to 11:00. James Potter took advantage of that. Although he rarely paid attention to curfews, it still made him feel better to know that he was less likely to get in trouble walking the corridors while the other students were sleeping. It was Christmas Eve and he was bored. He was bored because the rest of the Marauders left Hogwarts for the holidays, and he was stuck here with a select few other Gryffindor's. He left the common room and went to his dormitory, opening his trunk and pulling the map. He settled himself on his bed, his legs sprawled out, and whispered the magic words. As soon as the figures appeared, maybe it was a coincidence, but he'd like to call it fate, his eyes landed on the name, you guessed it, Lily Evans. Sitting alone in the astronomy tower. It was Christmas Eve, before curfew, James Potter was bored and Lily Evans was alone, there was only one thing to do. He quickly stuffed the map in his back pocket and headed out of the common room towards the astronomy tower. On the way, he pondered all the possibilities of what she was doing there alone. He had the terrifying thought that she was hurt, or less morbid ones like she wanted quiet, or maybe she was wrapping her presents in secret? But it did not occur even once to him, until he reached where she was huddled on the cold, dark concrete, that she would be up there crying. He could just make out her red hair and green eyes through the darkness. He could sense her surprise once he said her name and he watched as she quickly tried to compose herself, thinking that it wasn't to late to hide what she had been doing. James hesitantly walked over and sat next to her, not entirely sure what to do. He wasn't very experienced when it came to comforting girls, or anyone for that matter. 'are you alright?' he started with. He heard her snort and immediately felt stupid for asking that. 'Okay obviously not' he corrected. He leaned his head back on the hard wall and they sat in silence, a silence that was created, as he observed, only with her. A silence that only they could create, a silence that was wonderful and comfortable and new.
'Why are you here Potter?' she asked. And although there was no true venom in her voice, the use of his surname made him wince slightly 'it's my job to save damsel's in distress' he told her, a grin appearing on his face. Not because he found the situation amusing, but because humor was the only thing James knew, and he couldn't break the habit of returning to it when he felt uncomfortable. Lily turned to him, no humor in her eyes 'I'm not a damsel in distress, and I don't need to be saved' she told him in a steely voice. James sat back and although he can't say he was surprised, because frankly he knew Lily Evans and she definitely didn't need saving, a part of him just wished she could let down her walls in his presence and just let him in. 'I've been told I'm a good secret keeper' he suggested after a few moments pause, and heard a small laugh from beside him, followed by a sniffle. 'So I've heard' she said softly, her voice cracking, and in doing so, cracking his heart. Without thinking, he pulled his arm from out between them and wrapped it around her small shoulder, pulling her over to him. He could feel her stiffen for a moment, before she relaxed into his embrace and set her head in the crook of his neck. He could feel his heart beat quicken as her smell enveloped him. A smell that came up every time he was told to smell Amortentia, the mixture of watermelon (her shampoo), vanilla (her body lotion) and just the overwhelming and wonderful smell of Lily Evans. Once she nestled in, the tears began again but this time not so violent. Just an endless supply of warm salty tears running down her cheeks, but James could feel her heart clenching with whatever was hurting her. James could think of nothing to say that could comfort her, so he held her tight and whispered sweet, calming words to her. And even though he knew nothing about why she was crying, his words gave her a surprisingly strong sense of comfort.
After her crying had subsidized and all that was left was a sore throat and puffy eyes, Lily started to feel the embarrassment that she would've felt much earlier if she had not been emotionally unstable. She started to sit up and began to pull away but James would have nothing of it 'Lily' he warned, knowing exactly what she was planning. She wiped her eyes 'I'm fine, I just needed some time alone' she said in a forced clear voice and pried James arm off her shoulder. He sighed and watched as she tried to move his arm, but thanks to Quidditch, she had no luck 'you should probably give up now' he suggested as her face grew red in effort. She gave him a glare, although it came off as much weaker thanks to her puffy eyes. James' face softened 'just tell me what's wrong, I promise I'll listen and not make any jokes' she watched him for a second, her eyes wandering his face before she sat back into his embrace, looking down at her intertwined hands as she spoke 'I just got a letter from my mom telling me that my sister Petunia is getting married' she started and James listened, promising himself that he would shut up and not interrupt. 'The entire letter was so cheery and happy until the very end when she hastily put in that Petunia doesn't want me to go to the wedding' her voice broke off at the end, and a fresh set of tears began. James looked down at her, wishing there was something he could do. 'Why doesn't she want you there?' he asked softly. 'Because I'm a wizard' she told him with a shaky voice. James felt his temper immediately rise and although he tried to keep it at bay, he wasn't one to keep his thoughts inside. 'That's fucking…. Bloody hell she can't….you can't not' he spluttered, all his words trying to force their way out at once, resulting in him spluttering like an idiot. Lily looked mildly amused 'I know. And I had even gotten used to it, but now my mum isn't even trying' she stopped talking and looked away, obviously trying to keep her composure. James' anger disappeared 'I'm sorry' he told her sincerely, not knowing what else to say. 'Me to' 'but if it makes you feel any better, I'll invite you to my wedding' he told her. She looked at him with a serious face, but soon burst out laughing. James beamed at her reaction and the fact that her cheeks were now flushed with laughter instead of sadness. 'Thanks James' she told him, leaning in for a last hug. James wrapped both arms around her, and realized that he never ever wanted to invite her, he wanted to marry her.
Realizations
Lily Evans had her share of boyfriends during her years at Hogwarts. In second year she liked Terrance Shackle bolt and he liked her back. In third she dated Liam Mulice. In fourth and fifth she on and off dated Luke Henrick and in fifth she dated Ryan Henry. She always liked these boys, who were all polite, well mannered, kind and intelligent, but she never felt the spark. She never fell into her bed with a light heart and a sigh, giddily falling asleep to images of her boyfriend. She never felt a current run through her hand when they touched her, and she never felt butterflies after a week of dating them. And although since she was a little girl, she imagined a fairy tale love, age was beginning to play against her and reality was beginning to set in. Because of this, she decided that a relationship needed to be consistent and comfortable to be enjoyable. She was thinking all these thoughts as she entered the great hall for dinner. Paying minimum attention to the hustle and bustle around her, she sat down at her usual table in the middle of the hall and placed some vegetables on her plate. She was the first of her friends to arrive, so she started to eat in silence until someone sat next to her. She turned to the person, expecting it to be Alice since that was her usual spot, but instead found James sitting beside her, a look of urgency on his face. Lily frowned 'what's-' she wasn't able to finish her sentence because James grabbed onto her hand, yanked her out of her seat, and quickly began walking out of the Great Hall, pretty much dragging Lily behind him. 'James…. Wait, just stop…Slow down' she struggled in his grip that was becoming slightly painful. They continued down a dark corridor before James stopped, so suddenly that Lily ran straight into his (muscular) back with an 'Oomph.' It was then that he let go of her hand and she brought it close to her, rubbing the pain away. James' eyes followed her hand, frowning at first then realizing what had happened. His frown turned into an expression of panic. 'Christy, Lily, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you' he apologized, his eyes upset. Lily ignored him and continued tending to her hand as she looked around, they were in the middle of a dark, deserted corridor 'you took me away from my dinner for this?' she demanded. He had the decency to look sheepish 'okay that was kind of stupid but-' Lily sighed impatiently.
They had gotten closer and closer during the months and seventh year was ending in a few months. He had gotten head boy, and she head girl. Because of that, they spent lots of time together, and she found that she really did enjoy being with him. She realized that he really wasn't a bad person. Sure, he enjoyed pranks and hardly paid attention in class, but he still managed to do very well in his classes, and he was extremely loyal to his friends. Her eyes focused on his and she realized that his expression was very… well, very not James. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes wouldn't meet hers and he was fidgeting uncomfortably. She stepped closer 'James?' Meanwhile, James was having a mini panic attack right in front of her and trying his very best to hide it from her. You can do this he thought you are James Alexander Potter, you can do this. And before his brain could catch up with his mouth, he blurted out what he had been feeling since he was 11 years old 'I think I'm in love with you.' James had thought out many different scenarios following this confession, but his imagination never stressed just how bloody embarrassed he would feel after he said it. How fast his heart was beating as he watched her mouth slowly open, her cheeks flush and her eyes widen. How his palms would sweat as he waited for an answer. 'Say something' he croaked, after along stretch of silence. Lily was in shock. She felt numb and confused. Confused because the last time James had asked her out, was in fourth year and he hadn't showed any signs of interest since. But during all this, she didn't understand why her stomach was flipping, and why her heart began to beat rapidly inside her chest. She looked up at James, a boy who she had felt many different emotions with. She has felt angry with him, upset because of him, furious, happy, content, confused, but had she ever felt a romantic tie with him? She took in his messy black hair, that she not too long ago realized was eternally messy, and him running a hand through it was a nervous habit, not because he was trying to look better. His hazel eyes that seemed to darken and lighten depending on his mood. His glasses that never seemed to be straight on his nose. He stood at least two feet taller than Lily, yet she never felt threatened standing near him. He held doors open for her, gave her his dessert when it was white cake, her favorite, helped her with transfiguration. Merlin's Beard she thought, here he was right in front of her for a year now, and she never thought anything of it.
James' expression was looking more panicky by the second, to the point of unhealthy, so she took another hesitant step forward and reached out to grab her hand. Spark. There was a spark. There was a current that flowed through her hand when they touched. She brought her other hand up and laid her palm on his cheek. Another spark. Her stomach was doing summersaults and flips. He looked down at her, the panic gone. 'I do love you' he said softly, wrapping both his arms around her waist and pulling her as close as he could. She brought both arms around his neck and they both realized how natural it felt, how easily she fit in his arms. 'I've loved you since they day I saw you on the Hogwarts Express, and I've fucked up more times than I'm proud to admit, but it was all for you, it was all because I was confused about you, or because you didn't realize I was here all along' 'I'm sorry' she replied immediately. He smiled softly 'don't be, I was a right asshole but i was always absolutely certain that you were the girl for me.' Lily looked up into his eyes, his light hazel eyes, and felt the spark that she had been certain didn't exist, and did what James had wished her to do for years. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his.
iv. I can't ever imagine loving you less
'So this is it' Lily sighed aloud. Her and James were sitting on the common room couch, watching the fire with their limbs entangled. Her legs were thrown across his lap, his arm was around her waist as her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck. James mimicked her sigh and tilted his head so it was leaning against Lily's. He closed his eyes and breathed in her scent deeply, his erratic heartbeat calming after he did so. He was deathly afraid of leaving Hogwarts, although he would tell no one this, he was certain that Lily already knew. He was terrified of going out into the war, having to protect him and Lily all the while supporting themselves and keeping a job. They were to be aurors. That part was certain. And although it was wonderful, and he was excited to go out and try to defeat evil, it meant that they were both in more danger than usual and that scared him more than anything. He opened his eyes and glanced down at Lily who had closed her eyes. Every time he even glanced at her, he felt his chest tighten, reminding him of just how important she was to him, and how he could never let anything happen to her.
'I love you' he kissed her hair. She made a noise of agreement and snuggled closer to James. 'Were going to go out into the world and buy a house and raise a family' he told her. A smile appeared on her face and he continued, fueled by a sudden fierceness 'we're going to be aurors and kick Voldemorts army to the dust and save innocent people and feel fucking good about our selves at the end of the day' he felt his chest tighten with emotion but he continued on 'we're going to leave work at the end of the day and go home, where we'll have quidditch posters and homemade desserts in fridge' Lily murmured in agreement. 'And we're going to have a kid when the war is over, and if it's a boy we'll teach him quidditch and if it's a girl…. Then we'll teach her quidditch too' he felt Lily laugh next to him 'and we'll bring our kid to the park and let them play on the swings while we sit on the park bench and I tell you how great of a mom you are' his eyes began unfocused as he imagined all this 'and when our kids eleven, they'll go to Hogwarts and be sorted into Gryffindor and as we watch them leave on the train, I'll tell you how much I love you because I do. We'll get together with our friends and Sirius will be our kids Godfather. And we'll grow old together, and when we're 80 we will still have great sex, great laughs and great friends, and I'll still love you just as much as I do today because I can't ever imagine loving you less' he paused for a moment and Lily raised her head, tears shining in her green eyes 'and we're gonna have a fairy tale life Lil's, because I want your life to be everything you dreamed it would be, and I want to give it to you. So it doesn't matter that we're both bloody terrified to leave Hogwarts, or that we're entering a war, because I love you and you love me and that's all that matters to me' he looked down at Lily and was surprised to feel a tear fall down his cheek. Lily brought a hand to his cheek and brushed it away gently 'James Alexander Potter, how did I get to lucky' she says softly, resting her palm against his cheek. He looked into her green eyes, his favorite color, and feels invincible.
iv. I'm fighting this war for you
Their mission was a success. They had all survived, despite the injuries, and James felt invincible. He had been the one to capture the death eater; he was the hero of the mission. Lily had left before he could see her, although he was unsure as to why, and he couldn't wait to see her. He left the department and headed home, a smile on his face although his ankle was still causing him some difficulty. It had been a hard mission, the entire building had caught fire, and there were more death eaters than expected. There were a few times where James had lost sight of Lily, and he felt a terror that he had never experienced before, but from what they told him she was completely all right, and that was the most important thing for him at the end of the day. He sighed in relief as he entered their house in Godric Hollow, and he could smell the chicken in the oven. He hung up his coat at the front door and called out 'Lily?' and got no response. He called again upstairs and again got no response, and he began to feel afraid. He bounded up the stairs, two at a time and pushed their bedroom door open 'Lily?' he called out until he saw her. She was sitting on their bed, her back to him, and her posture extremely ridged. She was wearing her bathrobe and her hair was freshly washed. He felt a wash of relief once he saw that she was safe and unharmed. 'Lily? Are you alright? You didn't answer' he said as he rounded the bed to look at her. She was staring at the ground and didn't lift her eyes as he kneeled in front of her 'Lil's, are you alright?' Her cheeks were red, and eyes hard. James was familiar with her habits and he knew immediately that she was angry, although for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. He reached forward to touch her when she slapped his hand away, the sound echoing in the silence 'don't touch me' she hissed, meeting his eyes. Her green eyes held such arctic ice, that James stood up and stepped back in shock. 'Lil's' She stood up also, stepping forward and pushing his in the middle of his chest, causing him to take another step backwards and she walked around him. Despite his shock, he grabbed her wrist and spun her around to him 'what in merlin's name did I do?' he asked incredulously. She pulled her arm out of his grip 'you are a fucking idiot, a git, a selfish bastard who is still the same boy from third year' she yelled at him. His eyes widened at her language, and at her words. 'Lily' he started carefully 'explain to me what I did wrong' her cheeks reddened even further, and she even began to shake slightly 'what you did wrong? What you did wrong?' she screeched. 'I was standing outside James, I had to stand outside and pray to God that you were going to come out alive. You fucking ran in there, when I was standing right there. It was stupid and selfish and horrible' she yelled despite her voice cracking and the tears that began to fall 'you didn't even think of me did you. You don't think of anyone else but yourself' this made him angry. 'I'm selfish? I captured those death eaters to make this world a better place for you' he motioned roughly at her. She scoffed 'you went in there for your own glory Potter, don't kid yourself' he gaped at her; she hadn't called him that since before seventh year at Hogwarts. She shook her head 'I can't… I can't do this' she motioned to the both of them 'if you aren't even going to think about me. What would I have done if you died in there? I' she broke off and began to cry in earnest 'I would have died myself if you didn't come out James, you can't do that. You can't scare me like that, you just can't' James stepped quickly forward and pulled the small redhead into his arms, holding her fiercely and blinking back his own tears. He didn't realize how much he had hurt her. 'I was thinking of you when I went in there' he whispered to her 'I was thinking of you me and our kid, sitting outside and playing quidditch, with no worries of a war, no fear. I'm doing this for us Lily' 'we can't have that if you die' she retorted. He sighed, feeling immensely tired all of a sudden. Lily felt his posture droop and lead them to the bed where she laid in his arms, her anger gone. 'I just want it to end' she said sleepily 'I hate this' he nodded 'we're almost there Lil's, just trust me okay?' 'I trust you, but I don't trust burning buildings or death eaters or Voldemort or this war.' James sighed 'so what, you want me leave the order?' he asked, annoyance creeping into his voice. 'I want you to be careful James, were not at Hogwarts, people die in wars' He wanted to argue, he wanted to argue and tell her that he could do it, but he realized that that didn't matter. It didn't matter how confident he was, or how much he wanted to capture those who were guilty, or how much he enjoyed dueling, the only thing that mattered to him was Lily.
v. We're going to save you Harry
Lily couldn't sleep. She had been tossing and turning since she turned off the lights, it was now early in the morning and her brain wouldn't shut off. Ever since they went into hiding, her nights were filled with nightmares and dreams filled with confusion and desperation. She sat up in bed and turned to James who was sleeping soundly beside her, his arm wrapped around her stomach. She smiled slightly at his snoring form, his hair in all different directions, and the way he always needed to be in contact with her as they slept. She gently took his arm off her and slipped out of bed, her feet hitting the cold floor, and her footsteps the only sound in the house as she made her way to Harry's room. As she entered, the first thing that caught her eye was the small, bright, quidditch player flying above Harry, a nightlight from Remus. She crept quietly until she reached Harry's crib, where he was sprawled out, exactly like his father, and his black hair that was just starting to grow in was just as messy as James's. She chuckled to herself as she lifted Harry up, she didn't want to wake him, she just wanted to hold him. He gurgled softly before curling into his mother, leaning his head in the crook of her neck. She felt her heart soar and held him, feeling overwhelmed with the emotions that overcame her everyone she touched him. He was hers, her only child, and she would risk her life to save him. 'Harry love, momma's going to keep you safe' she whispered to him as she began to rock him gently. 'So is daddy, I hope you know that. Daddy would do anything for us, he loves you so much Harry, so much. As do I. And it doesn't matter that we're in the middle of a war, or that we're in danger, because daddy and I love you so, so much Harry. And we're going to keep you safe so you can go to Hogwarts and play quidditch' Lily began to cry silently 'and even if mommy and daddy aren't there to wave you away when you leave, as much as that might hurt you, we're always going to be there Harry. We'll be with you whenever you need us, even when we can't see you' her shoulders began to shake 'we're going to save you Harry, because you are the most important thing in our lives.' She bent her head down and touched it to her son's, her beautiful son. 'We're going to wave him away on the Hogwarts express' James' voice came out from behind her, a fierceness to it. Lily didn't turn around, but heard him approach until he had his arms wrapped around her and Harry. She looked up at him, his sleepy eyes and disheveled hair, and hazel eyes that were holding a fire that had been fueled since they had gone into hiding 'we need to be realistic' Lily whispered to him. 'We're not going to die' he growled, his face hardening. Lily felt a tear fall down her cheek 'we fought James, we fought hard. But we need to accept, and keep strong but not for us, for Harry' James started to speak but she shushed him 'please' the desperation on her face was enough to stop him. He knew what she wanted. It was just like Lily to need closure, she needed to accept and work on molding her feelings to keep her from feeling too much pain. James didn't work like that. He fought until it was foolish to fight, and even then. He fought through pain and sadness and anger because it was all he knew to do. He was angry that his family was in danger, that Lily and him may not live to see 80 and that people were dying in a war that he wasn't able to end. But if he was going to die before 80, then we was going to spend his time making Lily as bloody happy as he could, and if he had to push away his anger, then he would. Unclenching his jaw, he leaned his forehead to Lily, and she could see in his eyes, only from his eyes, that he had given up the fight. For her. 'Forever and always James, no matter what' he nodded, feeling an enormity of sadness in his chest that was close to pain 'I'm sorry' he whispered. She understood. He put the blame on him, just like he always did. He thought he let her down. Lily shook her head 'you gave me a better life, and more happiness than I ever imagined' she smiled through the tears 'you gave me my fairy tale James, the one I didn't believe in.'
vi. Forever's a long time
He had been told all his life that he had his mother's eyes and fathers hair, but that wasn't nearly enough for him. Harry had (an almost unhealthy) obsession with learning as much as he could about his parents. He didn't care how beautiful his mother was, or how handsome his father was. He wanted to know; what was his mom's favorite dessert? What was her favorite book? What season did she love best? What she a morning person? He wanted to know, what was his fathers favorite thing about his mother? What did he think about before he went to sleep? Did he want a baby boy? Harry felt a sharp pang in his stomach every time he asked himself these questions, because every time he came to the realization that he would never find these answers. Harry Potter fought Voldemort on various occasions, fell in love with a girl he (at first) couldn't be with, and broke many bones, but what hurt him most what the fact that he would never meet his parents. So when he stood, meters away from Voldemort himself, death laid out for him in the near future and his parents appeared around him, he had to refrain himself for stepping into death right away. He had to keep himself from begging for death, from running at Voldemort, pleading and praying to die. Instead, as always, he had to stand, with his parents around him, with his head up, proud and defiantly. Even though the only thing he wanted to do was die. 'Stay strong Harry, we love you' his mother whispered to him, her red hair falling around her face in the way Harry imagined. James leaned forward, a grin on his handsome face. Harry blinked rapidly 'does it hurt?' This time Sirius came forward, looking happier than ever standing with his best friend 'not at all' but Harry wasn't convinced. He glanced up at his parents, standing with their arms around each other, smiling at their grown son with adoration and pride 'are you glad?' they frowned in confusion 'that I'm dying I mean, that you can finally get to know me.' His mother looked at him with sad eyes, the green eyes he was told endlessly about 'we've watched you grow up Harry, we've been with you the whole time' she whispered as their faces faded away. Harry called out for his parents in a whisper, feeling his heart rip as they faded away from him once again. And as he stepped into Voldemorts vision, he took a breath and gained courage from knowing that he would soon be with them. And he would ask them all the questions he had, and learn about them for, he would now have forever with them.
