1I own nothing except Dawn and Sophie. Song is Rascal Flatts and everything else is JKROne more thing: This story is, I guess u could say, the 2nd part of my song fic Dreaming with a Broken Heart so it may make more sense if you read that 1st.
I can take the rain on
the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take
a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to
cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone
still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm
ok
But that's not what gets me
Sirius flung over to face the window that looked out on the night sky. Today marked a year since he was supposed to be wed. A year since he last dreamed. A year since he had reluctantly said his final goodbye.
He hated that he was forgetting the little things, like how Dawn's laugh sounded or how it felt to hold her. He tried to remember the exact way he nose would wrinkle when she laughed.
He had promised he would move on but he never realized how hard it would be when he began to forget. He tried though. He thought he was rather believable but every time he got one of the petty filled looks from his friends he knew he wasn't as good at acting as he thought. The only time he seemed to have a truly genuine smile as of lately had been when he was with this new godson, Harry.
Turning over in the bed for the millionth time that night he prayed for the dreamless sleep to come. His grey eyes focused through the dark on the picture that had only recently been turned face up.
There she was.
His Dawn.
The only woman he felt he would ever truly love.
It was hard to remember he was ever as happy as he was in that picture. His own image seemed to mock him as he leaned in to kiss the smiling woman in his arms. How he missed those moments.
Lily would sigh right about now. She would try to get him to talk about how he was feeling. How could he put into words the hole in his chest. Even thinking about it caused it to throb. Time heals everything Sirius. She would tell him.What did she know?! Time didn't heal anything at all. So instead he ignored it. Only in public though. At home, alone, on nights when he couldn't sleep, he would let him self feel the full force of the loneliness and hurt he still felt.
James suggested he go out more. Sirius had tried to. He even allowed Lily to set him up with a friend from the Ministry. That ended in disaster. He compared the girl to Dawn the whole time and no one in his mind could measure up. The poor girl never had a chance. After that no one said anything about going out more to him.
Remus told him he should move. He had. Into a flat that seemed much to big for him in retrospect. Everything seemed emptier without her. It didn't matter, however, where he went. Memories of her still followed him.
'They don't know anything. I'm fine. I'm dealing with this on my one. They don't know what its like to miss her. I'm fine.'
He looked back to the still smiling faces. 'I'm fine.'
No matter how many times he repeated those two words to himself it never really convinced him.
Frustrated he raked his hands through his hair before looking up at the ceiling. "I miss you so much." he whispered in to the empty room.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I
go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I
see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up,
getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could
do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in
my heart
That I left unspoken
A/N
Sooo I rewrote this first chapter like 10 times so I hope it doesn't completely suck. I don't know if im quite satisfied with it yet so I may rewrite it again...lol. I don't know if I really like the song either so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know. Other then that REVIEW please. It makes me happy. AND please please pretty please be nice. I haven't written anything in... forever it seems so keep that in mind.. Kthnxbye. : P
