Oh, No, We're in Trouble Now

"We're not in London, Arthur."

"What do you mean we're not in London? That's Big Ben over there, there are the houses of Parliament. Of course we're in London."

"Look. Earth was destroyed by the Vogons. London can't possibly exist."

"Ford, why are you jigging from side to side like that? Look, it's a perfectly ordinary lamppost, there's no need to keep prodding it like that -"

"It's a hologram. A zarking hologram!"

"Ford, stop trying to embed yourself in that wall. Everyone will stare."

"No they won't. They don't exist. Look, they're just walking by."

"So they are. But it's so real. Back on earth, holograms were shiny things on pieces of card that looked like Charles Darwin."

"Things have moved on, Arthur. Now help me find a way out of this holosuite."

"What can I do? Draw chalk arrows on the floor?"

"The floor, yes! Arthur, bend down and shut your eyes."

"Why, gosh, what's happening? It doesn't feel like pavement."

"Excellent. You can feel the conveyors underneath? Crawl forward very carefully. Find the edges of the conveyor strips and try to move along those. That should confuse it a bit. That way, we should be able to find a wall."

"Ow, Ford, those are my fingers."

"Don't leave them in my way, earthman."

"Ford, I think I've found a wall."

"Good, good. Now stand up and shuffle round until you can feel the door. Don't open your eyes."

"Ford, Ford, I've found the door."

"Don't just stand there, open it!"

"No need to shout, Ford."

"The zarking bastard. We're on the Heart of Gold. Just wait till I see Zaphod. I'll punch him so hard that both his heads will see last week backwards."