A/N: Ya, a new story. I hope you enjoy.
WARNING: THIS STORY IS NOT FOR CHILDREN. SOME CONTENTS MAYBE UNSUITABLE. BE WARNED.
Chapter One
"Oh man," Lance said, "I can't believe we have to take this health class."
"Don't complain," Pietro said, "It was either this or life science and you know I wouldn't be caught dead walking around with a sack of flower or an egg and take care of it like it's a real person."
Pietro and Lance made it to the Health class to see that Todd and Steve were already there. They went and sat down with them in the back of the class. Soon the bell rang and the teacher came into the room.
"Good day class," the teacher said with a big smile, "I'm Mr. Gibbons. Now I know most of you believe that this first week we are going to start easy, but no we are not. This first week we are going to learn about sexual education."
"Lame," Pietro muttered.
"Well thank you Pietro," Gibbons said, "You can be the first volunteer."
Pietro rolled his eyes, but walked up to the front of the class. Just as he got to the front, Kitty came running in.
"Sorry I'm late," Kitty said.
"Well, thank you too," Gibbons said, "Now we have our two volunteers. We will start our lesson with a little role playing. Now, let's say that Pietro, you have just slept with Kitty, now what is the proper thing to do after you're done?"
"Tell her to get out of my bed and go home," Pietro said.
"Ya, right like I'd ever sleep with you," Kitty yelled, folding her arms.
"No, that's not what I meant," Gibbons said with a sigh, "You need to make sure that you clean yourself properly, that way you don't get infections. Let's try this again. Now, let's say that Pietro didn't clean himself and he got an infection, what would you do?"
"I'd go complain," Pietro said, "It would be her fault for giving it to me."
"Hey, it wouldn't be my job to make sure you took a stupid shower," Kitty yelled.
"No," Gibbons said, rubbing his eyes, "You would go to the hospital and get antibiotics. That way you can get rid of it. Now, one more time, you are about to begin in intercourse, what do you do first?"
"Tell her to put a paper bag over her head," Pietro said, causing some people to laugh.
"No," Gibbons quickly said before Kitty could say anything, "Always use protection, like a condom. You can buy most condoms at stores and pharmacies. They do come in many sizes."
"Ya, Pietro would need an extra small," Kitty said, causing even more students to laugh.
"Hey, I'm very big," Pietro quickly said, going a bit red in the face.
"Oh ya, than like show us," Kitty said.
"Ya, you would like that wouldn't you," Pietro said with a grin on his face.
"Let's have you two go sit down," Gibbons quickly said, "Let's have Todd and Rogue come up."
Kitty went and sat down by Jean, while Pietro went back to sit down. Rogue and Todd walked up to the front. Rogue didn't look at all happy.
"Ok," Gibbons said, looking a bit nervous, "Now, let's say that Todd didn't use protection and got Rogue pregnant, now Rogue how do you react and how would you tell Todd?"
"I wouldn't tell him," Rogue said, "I would go have the thing sucked out of me as soon as I found out."
"You can't do that," Todd yelled, "That is a living thing."
"Hey, it's my body and I can do what I want with it," Rogue said.
"Well, that is a choice you could do," Gibbons said, "Well, let's try this instead. Let's say you are about to have intercourse, but Todd you know you have HIV, do you tell Rogue before you begin?"
"No," Todd said, "I wouldn't tell her, because it would be funny just to give it to her yo."
Rogue gave a small scream, before picking up a chair and throwing it at Todd. The chair hit Todd and caused him to fall down. Gibbons quickly went to help him up to see that his nose was bleeding.
"Oh, go to the nurse's office," Gibbons said, "And you Rogue can go to the principal's office."
Rogue and Todd left the classroom.
"Well," Gibbons said, "I'm just going to let you stay seated. Let's start with Scott, say you're at a party and there is a drunken girl all over you, what do you do?"
"He would probably leave," Lance said, "Too much girl contact."
"You don't know what I would do," Scott said.
"What does that mean?" Jean yelled.
"Let's try again," Gibbons quickly said before it could go any further, "Steve let's say that Kathy was hitting on you and she wanted to go back to your place, what would you do?"
"SICK," Steve yelled, "That's my sister."
"Oh I'm sorry," Gibbons said, "Let's just say a girl you know."
"I can't think of that now," Steve said, hitting his head on the desk, "Can't get the image out of my head."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Gibbons said, looking a bit more nervous, "Ok, Jean, let's say you go to the hospital and find out that you got an STD, probably from your boyfriend, what would you do?"
"I know he would have got it from the drunken girl that he slept with," Jean yelled.
"Jean, I wouldn't do that," Scott said.
"How do I know that?" Jean yelled, "You just gave me an STD."
"Let's try to move on," Gibbons said, wiping some sweat off his forehead, "Let's have two volunteers. Uh how about Lance and Kathy?"
Kathy and Lance walked to the front of the class room.
"Now we are going to learn about body parts," Gibbons said taking a deep breath, "Now, Lance how do you have intercourse?"
"Well," Lance said, looking a bit embarrassed, "I put my thing in her thing."
"That is correct, sort of," Gibbons said, "Where is her thing located?"
"Between her legs," Lance said.
"Could you point it out?" Gibbons said.
Lance stood there for a few seconds before pointing at the spot.
"Very good," Gibbons said, "Now, Kathy could you explain how to have intercourse, maybe a bit better than Lance?"
"Well," Kathy said, not looking at all nervous, "The man takes his dick and puts it in the girl's vagina."
Some of the students started laughing, but Gibbons said, "That is correct. Now, could you point out where his thing is?"
Kathy turned around and then kicked Lance right between the legs. Lance fell to the ground and curled up in a ball. Some more students started laughing, while Lance laid on the ground, trying not to cry.
"There is the spot," Kathy said, "And you will notice that it is a very tender spot."
Gibbons quickly went to help Lance, while Kathy just walked out the door. Lance managed to stand up and walk back to his desk.
"Well," Gibbons said, with a weird laugh, "This has not really been a good learning day.
Gibbons sat down at his desk and just stared at the students for a few minutes. Soon the bell rang and everyone started to leave.
"Tomorrow we will start on hygiene," Gibbons muttered, "No more sexual education."
